The Modern Materialist : bathroom

All Signs Point to Awesome

Steph Auteri — Thu, 14 May 2009 19:19:00 GMT

[Photo via]

You have no idea how thrilled I am about the fact that I found this image on Flickr. I mean, the fact that there actually is a street called "Awesome" is the awesomest thing I've ever heard.

I mean, well, it's up there.

For some truly awesome signage, however, I'd like to recommend Mooza Designs:

[$30, Etsy]

These male/female bathroom signs have an acrylic base, and are topped with pretty Japanese art paper. Sure to add some personality to any apartment bathroom!

[Via decor8]

Something is Watching You

Diana Vilibert — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 20:46:00 GMT

Something is watching you in your bathroom...

Using a facial screening application, the iHouse Smart Faucet recognizes the user and automatically turns on the water to the preferred temperature and flow. The touchscreen on the top of the faucet can be used to access email, check your calendar, check the outside temperature, among other things.

[iHouse via BornRich]

Feeling Incensed by Bathroom Smells?

Laureen Mahler — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:02:00 GMT

From time to time, we could all use a match or two. So why not stock up on these matchbooks, which are specially designed for those awkward bathroom moments:

[$7, The Future Perfect]

These incense matches come in six varieties and include such scents as cinnamon, strawberry, and sandalwood. Though when it comes down to it, isn't lighting an incense match even more obvious than lighting a normal one?

Keep the Voyeurs Out of Your Shower...

Steph Auteri — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:38:00 GMT

...unless you're into that sort of thing.

But assuming you like a little privacy during your shower time, perhaps you could scare away the pervs with this:

[$20, Fred Flare]

Okay, I know, I know. This Jaws shower curtain is more cute than creepy. But...made ya look, right?

[Via Ooh! Shiny!]

Shave Standing Up

Steph Auteri — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 17:21:00 GMT

Legs this hot are hard work.

Women face sharp razors, slippery showers, and sometimes even hot wax in order to achieve the most touchable legs possible.

It's a pain in the ass.

[$29.50, Frontgate]

The shaving pedestal aims to make at least those slippery showers easier to deal with. Men: Prepare yourselves for legs you can't keep your hands off of. Because really? I had sort of given up on shaving, for the winter at least, and you can almost braid my leg hair.

[Via Apartment Therapy]

Bathtubs You Won't Fall Into at Night

Steph Auteri — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:39:00 GMT

Just yesterday, I posted about these gorgeous, in-floor bathtubs that had gotten my heart racing.

My enthusiasm was somewhat dampened — though not completely squelched — when Shaun pointed out the possible overflow problems. I mean, it was a possibility I was willing to live with if only so I could pretend that I was constantly on vacation, with a swim-up bar and infinity-edge pool overlooking the ocean.

Then, MM reader Nikki asked whether or not it came with a cover. So that she would not fall in and drown at night. And I decided that maybe I should put my in-floor tub dreams to rest.

So I'm moving onto to freestanding tubs, and I'm especially enamored of the brightly-colored tubs available at AstonMatthews:

[$893, AstonMatthews]

[$1,543, AstonMatthews]

[$2,925, AstonMatthews]

[$1,478, AstonMatthews]

[$1,251, AstonMatthews]

All exteriors are finished for painting, but I like seeing what can be accomplished with a coat of brightyly-colored paint.

Poop!

Alex Zalben — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:01:00 GMT

[$22, Seibi]

Ah, poop jokes. Definitely not the height of comedy, and quite possibly the depth. Yet, the mere act of mentioning poop, as seen on the shirt above, is nowhere near as gross as this:

I can't find whether this is an actual product, though I'm kind of guessing/hoping not.

[Via Book of Joe]

My Disgusting Bathtub

Steph Auteri — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 15:01:00 GMT

[Photo via]

My bathtub is too disgusting to sit down in (though it's probably better since we gave it that thorough scrubbing a few weeks ago).

I swear. If you let me have one of these bathtubs, I'll scrub it every day:

These and other in-floor Kasch bathtubs worth cleaning for can be viewed here.

[Via Gizmodo]

Commode and Play

Laureen Mahler — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 20:29:00 GMT

[Photo via]

Ah, the outhouse. Not exactly a designer bathroom, but it does have its charms. Now let's think about the exact polar opposite of the outhouse. The result? Well, it's the annual Bathroom Innovation Awards.

Okay, okay, I know. "Bathroom Innovation Award" sounds like the punchline to a bad joke about bowel movements. But let's just say that what the name lacks in originality, the designs make up for in general awesomeness:

This bathtub isn't just gorgeous; it's actually shaped to naturally support the human form for ultimate relaxation.

The Murphy bathroom starts as a space-saving cabinet, then unfolds into a full-fledged WC.

These etched tattoo faucets could presumably be customized... you could probably even get one with fingerprints for an easy cleaning out. Or, you could just be lazy about cleaning the bathroom faucet and say that the fingerprints are fancy etchings. Take that, chore chart; you aren't the boss of me!

And if you can't get enough bathroom innovation, there's much more on the BIA site.

[via freshome]

The Eva Solo Towel: Just Hang It Up

Steph Auteri — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 14:03:00 GMT

You could string a line outside your windows, but I think it would be far easier if you...

[$44, Bobby Berk Home]

...purchased one of these Eva Solo towels, with the built-in slit for easy hanging on hooks and doorknobs throughout your house. Nice thinking!

Color Me Papered

Laureen Mahler — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 20:24:00 GMT

Designer toilet paper. Truly, three words I never thought I'd hear used sequentially. But it's here, it's colorful, and it's definitely over $5 per roll:

[$17 for 3 rolls, Satinbox]

I actually love that they have black, but I'm still not paying that much for TP.

Juke Box Hero

Laureen Mahler — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 16:27:00 GMT

I just don't know what it is. Every time I sing in the shower, my cat yowls and my upstairs neighbors pound on the floor. It can't be that my repertoire includes only two full-fledged songs: Hollaback Girl and Sweet Child of Mine. I mean, who wouldn't want to hear those over and over again?

Oh, right. My horrific singing voice. (Which, by the way, is the vocal equivalent of Elaine Benes dancing.) Well, perhaps this little gadget will make my shower performances less painful:

[$143, Tokyo Flash]

The best thing about this shower radio? You put your Mp3 player in the waterproof pocket on the bottom, then control it with buttons on top. Shiny!

[via GearCrave]

Related: I Am An Embarrassment, 007 Mp3

Quick Tip of the Day: Please Shower

Steph Auteri — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 13:39:00 GMT

Not just because you smell, but because, seriously, why would you want to skip out on one of the awesomest parts of the day?

You can make it even awesomer with one of these swanky-looking shower heads from Bossini s.p.a. I'm especially intrigued by their new Aquavolo shower head, which allows you to switch between rainfall and waterfall:

[Via Gizmodo]

Test Drive: Feeling Just a Tinge of Excitement (Down There)

Steph Auteri — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 17:31:00 GMT

You guys! Check out this razor I just got myself! It's pretty, it's pink, it comes with its own charging dock, and it can bring me to orgasm in five and a half minutes!

No. I know. I don't usually place razor-sharp blades near my clitoris either, but I just couldn't help myself this time around. You see...this razor is actually a (waterproof) vibrator in disguise!

Not only that, but it's also one of the few discreet vibrators out there that also functions as the object it's designed to look like.

After the jump, we explore this further, and I explain why it's okay to place sharp objects near your vajayjay, risk-free.

When I first received my Tinge razor in the mail, it came in a sleek, black box, and was packaged alongsize its charging base, power adapter, and a bottle of scented pleasure gel (a bit strong-smelling for my taste but, then again, I'm pretty attached to the lube I'm already using). I also got a good giggle out of the promotional materials included therein, which expressed the desire that I "never have a dull moment." (aaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha I love it.)

It was a pretty excellent presentation, and I was eager to jump right in and bring myself just a tinge of pleasure (down there). Unfortunately, the razor required charging overnigh, so I plugged in the base, popped on the razor and...um...twiddled my thumbs (actually, I used my other vibrator, just to tide me over).

After my Tinge was fully charged, I powered it up by pressing the up and down arrow buttons simultaneously. I was so startled by the loud, powerful buzzing that I nearly dropped the damn thing, and actually yelped out loud. It sort of reminded me of my very first clit vibe — the Waterdancer, a waterproof version of the Pocket Rocket — which sounded as if I was hiding a by-God lawnmower beneath my sheets.

Once I got over my scare, I got down to business. I was already impressed by the intensity of the vibration, and was looking forward to cycling through the different vibratory rhythms. By pressing the middle Tinge button, I was able to cycle through five different modes: constant (the speed on this one could be changed using the arrow buttons), skip tease (pulsate), rapid tease, escalate (roll low to full power), and roller coaster (roll low to full power then back down to low).

So far so good.

When I was done having my fun (constant was my personal favorite), I powered off the Tinge by pressing both arros buttons simultaneously again, and then placed it back on the charging base.

Now, at this point, you're probably skeptical that such a powerful personal massager could also function as a razor. Well, believe it:

[$125, Tinge]

Scary, huh? No need to worry, though. The Smart Cap covering the razor blade (of which there are two extras included) does not come off accidentally. When I first opened the package, I couldn't even figure out how to get the cap off at all! And as an added safety feature, vibration capabilities are deactivated as long as the Smart Cap is off (I actually tested this, by removing the Smart Cap while in mid-buzz; it immediately stopped vibrating. P.S. The razor was nowhere near my nether regions at this time).

Of course, if you happen to reach for the Tinge after dark and place it down below before turning it on...well, let's just say that I believe your Tinge should be stored — on its cradle — with the Smart Cap on at all times.

In case you were wondering (and I do try to be thorough, dear readers), I used the razor as well, during my morning shower, and while I wouldn't trade it for my Gillette Venus (I am a creature of habit, after all), it's definitely a razor, and does the job that razors typically do.

So there you have it. Wuld you use a vibrator with razorting capabilities?

Clean Out Your Dirty Mouth

Laureen Mahler — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 16:28:00 GMT

[Photo via]

Yep. You did it again. And this time the swear jar's already full. You might just have to teach yourself a lesson and wash that mouth out. But at least there are soapsicles to ease your pain:

[$7.50, Vat19]

These soaps look and smell just like popsicles. So go ahead, have a baleout. All will be forgiven.

Toothbrush Protection

Steph Auteri — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 19:22:00 GMT

5 Personal Items I'd Prefer No One Else Used:

my favorite coffee mug
my razor
my washcloth
my vibrator
my toothbrush

Want others to get the picture?

[$11.99, Pop Deluxe]

This ceramic toothbrush holder might help...

When It's Not Enough to Say Goodbye

Laureen Mahler — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 16:41:00 GMT

Here at MM, we are most definitely looking forward. That said, we're also not quite ready to let our former president rest in relative Texan peace. Yesterday, Shaun brought you the "I Survived the Bush Administration" shirt, and here is a Bush farewell for those of us who tend towards the potty-minded:

[$10, Prank Place]

The George W. Bush toilet paper features the ex-president's face paired with some of his more infamous remarks. It also brings new meaning to our national sigh of relief.

Polar Bear Now Poster Child for Global Warming

Steph Auteri — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 14:52:00 GMT

Just last week. Alex posted about this funky-yet-disturbing rug, designed to make a statement on global warming.

Chaiyut Plypetch of Propaganda has done something similar, creating what Apartment Therapy aptly describes as "the saddest tub drain stopper ever":

Let yout tears mingle freely with the tub water as you contemplate this single polar bear, on a single sheet of ice, floating across the wide expanse of bathwater.

The only thing sadder are those commercials with Noah Wylie, asking us to please save the polar bears. I always tear up when the momma bear leave the baby bear behind to search for food.

[Via Apartment Therapy]

Guess the Product: Party or Pamper

Laureen Mahler — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 15:07:00 GMT

1. It can get wet.
2. It runs on batteries.
3. It floats.
4. You can see it in the dark.
5. It allows you to bring the dance floor to your booty, instead of, you know, the other way around.

So what is it?

It's an underwater disco ball for your bathtub!

[£7.95, Gizoo]

Okay, I know that my bathtub isn't exactly a deluxe spa or anything, but I'm pretty certain there's no room for a party in there, much less for my booty and a floating disco ball.

Keep a 5-Star Bathroom

Steph Auteri — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 18:57:00 GMT

While nothing beats the comfort of home — your own pillow-top mattress, your own overly-generous pile of blankets, your comfortably worn and smooshy couch — hotel bathrooms have a tendency to impress, with their jacuzzi tubs, endless supply of hot water, and magically appearing fresh towels.

Step things up in your at-home bathroom. Scrub down the tub. Wash the bath mat once in awhile. Upgrade your shower head. Heck, invest in perpetually heated towels:

[$899-$999, Thermique Technologies]

That towel stand over by that incredibly large window (why doesn't my bathroom look like this?) is actually the Thermique Towel Warmer, made with heated glass in a freestanding frame so that it still looks purty, and matches your decor.

Stepping out of the shower and into a heated towel is definitely a luxury I wish I could afford.

Lather, Rinse, Reload

Laureen Mahler — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 21:40:00 GMT

Can I admit something here? I hate decorative soaps. I have a gallon-sized plastic Ziplock bag in my bathroom cabinet that serves as a decorative soaps graveyard, where those waxy, over-scented bars go to die. What exactly do you do with decorative soaps? You can't shower with them (I learned this the hard way after running out of normal soap and desperately breaking into a package of French soaps shaped like those men in bowler hats from Magritte's paintings). You can't put them in a soap dish next to the sink (thus tricking your unsuspecting house guests into a fate similar to the afore-mentiond showering experience). So what exactly is their purpose?

Well, German designer Andreas Kraeftner might have finally changed my mind with his Ghetto Basics decorative soap:

[Kraeftner]

Sadly, it looks like the gun soap is only a concept. But on the up side, I think I might patent a holster soap dish and bathrobe with spurs. You know, just in case.

[via Baller House]

Rockin' Roll

Laureen Mahler — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 18:26:00 GMT

[$69.95, Old Fashioned Values]

Does a trip to the toilet make you hear beautiful music? It does now!

The Philosophy of Gingerbread

Alex Zalben — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 19:35:00 GMT

My philosophy on gingerbread? It's delicious. Eat it. Though, some people may have other ideas:

The gift set includes cinnamon hot dots shower gel, gingerbread shower gel, spicy gumdrop shower gel, sweet creamy frosting, and a taser, to keep people from eating you. Kidding about the last thing.

[$30, Philosophy]

[Via OutBlush]

Quick Tip of the Day: Sit or Squat

Steph Auteri — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 13:43:00 GMT

This is disgusting, but — whilist driving through Brooklyn, a spectacularly rich dinner behind me — my stomach tightened and twisted and I knew that, if I didn't find a public restroom, STAT, all of my organs would end up coming out of my throat from the pressure of clenching my ass. I distractedly drove toward Manhattan, my face pale and sweating, when I miraculously came upon a gas station Dunkin Donuts. With no other options in sight, I pulled into the lot with a screech.

Long story short (too late?), I popped a button on my pants, there was no toilet paper in the rest room, and I was left wishing that I had never eaten that oh-my-god-so-effing-delicious lobster, when what I was used to living off of was Rice Krispies and ramen noodles.

Really, though. Things wouldn't have been so bad if there had been a more upscale public restroom option.

SitOrSquat allows you to search for public restrooms on a Google-like map.

Unfortunately, as the site's directory of restroom is populated by users, some neighborhoods are still incredibly sparse. The only restroom in the vicinity of my Dunkin Donuts incident? A and J Auto Service.

[via lifehacker]

Related: When You Can't Hold It Anymore

5 Ways To Have Fun in the Shower

Steph Auteri — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 18:00:00 GMT

Sing in your best loud, shower voice
Invest in some rubber duckies
Make your tub time for two
Make your tub time for you...and your waterproof vibe
Work yourself up into a lather:

Is it so wrong for me to want foaming soap, if only to make soap suds animals, beards, hair sculptures...?

[$6.50, Bath&Body Works]

Have That Perfect Movie Moment At Home

Alex Zalben — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 15:02:00 GMT

You know that moment in a movie when the guy is running after a girl, and stops the girl, and confesses how everything was a big mix-up, and then they kiss in the rain, and the music soars? Well, wouldn't it be nice to have that moment without leaving the comfort of your home? Now you can:

RainHeaven from Joerger can turn your shower into a rain shower at any moment. All you need is an umbrella, romantic music, and a hilarious mix-up.

[Price AoR, Joerger]

[Via Trendir]

Love It or Leave It: A Shitty Lamp

Diana Vilibert — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 14:32:00 GMT

Well, nothing makes a statement like having a toilet plunger lamp hanging in your home. Yes, it's made from a real toilet plunger, and the description claims it's a great addition to the bathroom or kitchen. Thanks, but no thanks. What do you think--love it or leave it?

[$75, I Love Blocks]

Related: Don't Take The Plunger!

Quick Tip of the Day: Start Things Off Right

Steph Auteri — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 12:28:00 GMT

How I Start My Day:

7:30 a.m.: Alarm goes off. I hit snooze and stare at the ceiling.

7:37 a.m.: Alarm goes off again. I continue to stare at the ceiling as classical music pulses from the clock radio. Cat #1 strolls onto my chest and lies down his big head in my face. Cat #2 stares mournfully at me from the dresser at the foot of the bed. The kitten walks over and lies on my neck. I consider this a good excuse for not moving.

7:46 a.m. I twist around and turn off the clock. The cats walk off in a huff. I swing my legs over the edge of the bed, slide into my flip-flops, and curse the day.

7:47 a.m. I take a piss, brush my teeth, and swish some ACT around in my mouth. All of this is done in a state of miserable semi-consciousness. I am not nearly as excited about my toothbrush as the kitten is. Perhaps a more exciting toothbrush would at least make me smile before I trudged over to my desk and fired up the computer?

Or even a more exciting toothbrush holder. I love this rubber duckie toothbrush holder, because I love rubber duckies. Wouldn't this get a smile out of you?

[$9.28, IWOOT]

See-Through Measuring Cup Bathtub

Diana Vilibert — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 17:04:00 GMT

We all know taking a bath wastes a lot of water. But do you know exactly how much? You would if you were bathing in this measuring cup bathtub. Unfortunately, the design does nothing to save water--just makes you feel bad about how much you're wasting.

[Why Me?]

Don't Eat Those Oranges!

Alex Zalben — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:03:00 GMT

Don't eat those oranges, they're covered in black pepper! Also:

They're a delicious sounding line of cremes. Yum.

[$24-$85, Bliss]

[Via OutBlush]