The Modern Materialist : bikinis

Mow the Lawn

Laureen Mahler — Mon, 04 May 2009 17:29:00 GMT

Um, not that kind of lawn. You know, the kind of lawn that gets a little more exposure during bikini season:

Presenting the Wilkinson Sword 2-in-1 Quattro razor and, ahem, lawn-trimming device:

The Quattro is a perfect complement for that new swimsuit you just bought, and officially the product with the best advertising campaign in the history of razors that also trim bikini lines. Check out their (hilarious) ad:

How can you not want to buy one of these after that? But just in case you need added inspiration, here are the specs for the Quattro:

• high-quality dual blade razor with added trimming function
• battery-operated, waterproof trimmer is hidden at the bottom of the razor
• includes a trimmer comb

The Quattro's site also offers a complete how-to section on the bikini line shave that will work with your suit's cut. Though let's be honest, it's really all about that ad.

[via Laughing Squid]

Contest: Win Sarah Palin's Bikini

Alex Zalben — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 21:29:00 GMT

If you had asked me even one month ago, I would have said the hot Halloween costume this year would be Nurse Joker. As of now? There's no doubt that Sarah Palin will be seen everywhere. And naturally, Ricky's has the hook-up to the most ridiculous possible version (seen above). So we here at Modern Materialist are going to hook YOU up with one of these. Here's how:

1. Take a picture of yourself, or a friend (with their permission, of course) of your "current" Sarah Palin costume. Videos with terrible impressions will also be accepted.

2. Send your picture to modernmaterialist@nerve.com, with the subject, "I Need a Better Sarah Palin Costume!" If you have a video, post it on YouTube or a similar site, and send us the link.

3. Our crack team of experts will narrow down the finalists, and one lucky winner will be sent a Ricky's Sarah Palin costume to spice up their current wardrobe.

Please note that the costume is the sash and glasses only, not the bikini, so you can don any Sarah Palin-wear you think appropriate, and comfortable for the fallish weather. Though we're certainly not going to turn down bikini pictures.

[$23, Ricky's Halloween Shop]

[Via Gawker]

This Bikini Has a Secret

Alex Zalben — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 19:02:00 GMT

This bikini has a pretty great secret, but you're going to have to look lower to find out what it is.

No, not where you're looking right now. Do you see it? Yup, it's...

...The beads that hold the secret! They change shades of purple, depending on the intensity of the UV rays in the area. Sexy, and safe. Now, if they can only invent a bikinin that does the same thing, except intense UV rays make it see-through...

[$99, Solestrom]

[Via Gadget Miss]

Slave Leia [NSFWish]

Alex Zalben — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:21:00 GMT

After seeing the above picture passed around the nets today, I have to take a stand.

Look. I know why the Slave Leia costume is uber-hot to nerds everywhere. However, enough already. Dressing up as Slave Leia is the equivalent of being a sexy kitty-cat on Halloween. It's not creative, and I've now seen enough pictures of Slave Leia, not to mention in person (proof below), that it's not even sexy anymore.

That being said...

If you're gonna dress as Slave Leia, I guess you can get one of the above costumes. They're made to order, and range from $325-$375, plus shipping. And, you'll make that money back in Geek Gropes, right?

[Leia's Metal Bikini]

Oh, and here's that picture I promised:

I was doing this whole thing where I high-fived people at New York Comic-Con last year, which you can check out if you like:

Half Naked Ladies Go All Green (Yes, There Are Pictures)

Alex Zalben — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:28:00 GMT

Before I show you more pictures of girls in bikinis and monokinis, there's something you should know: the above suit is not only hot looking, it's also green; it's made of soy beans and coconuts. Seriously.

Nikster has a line of completely green, completely recyclable bikinis and monokinis that look good, and make you feel good... But you don't care, do you? Here's more bikini girls:

[$45-$140, Niksters]

[Via TrendHunter]

Want To Play With Some Boobs?

Alex Zalben — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 13:00:00 GMT

Ultimate geek fantasy time: Designer John Nouanesing has created the Geekini, which (in theory) is a game controller built into a bikini.

Ultimate geek reality time: You put this on, and I guarantee your BF will basically spend the next four hours mashing your breasts and crotch, while essentially ignoring you.

Not that that's any different than the rest of your sex life. Oh snap! I said it! I said it!

Here's another pic, pervos:

[Tigidi]

[Via Trendhunter]

Bubble Wrap Bikini

Alex Zalben — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 14:30:00 GMT

Can you spot what's weird about this picture? Is it:

A) This lady likes motorcycles. Ladies don't like motorcycles, silly!

B) Nobody drinks that much Sparkletts brand water.

C) She isn't a natural blonde. Dyed!

Or maybe, she's wearing one of these:

Two quick thoughts: yes this is inherently kind of sexy; and no, it's not even remotely practical. What are you supposed to do, press hard into your lady-friends boobs? Hurtful.

[$17, Electric Boutique]

Something’s Fishy About This Swimsuit

Alex Zalben — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 22:00:00 GMT

There’s something a little fishy about this bathing suit, and I can guarantee that in a million years, you’ll never, ever guess what it is. So to that end, I’ll tell you. Ready?

It’s made out of Salmon skin.

The recycled bikinis are made from unused fish scales that are tossed away, and designer Claudia Escobar says that the “fabric” made from the skin is elastic and comfortable. She also makes sandals, mini-skirts, and jeans from the material.

Told you you wouldn’t guess it.

You can purchase clothing by request from Skini London by calling 020 8926 6877.

[Via Yahoo News]