The Modern Materialist : chocolate

Will Strip For Chocolate, Part 2

Alex Zalben — Mon, 11 May 2009 14:02:00 GMT

A few months ago, we told you about a Strip Chocolate board game, for getting some sexy times started. Well, let's declass this a few levels:

It's basically a deck of cards, and chocolate poker chips. If you want, give me $2, and I'll make you a similar game. Just mentioning.

[£5, LoveHoney]

The 25 Mother's Day Gifts You Should Buy Immediately (20-16)

Alex Zalben — Tue, 05 May 2009 16:05:00 GMT

Shaun kicked things off yesterday with our countdown of the 25 Mother's Day Gifts You Should Buy Immediately, and here's the big difference between yesterday's list, and today's: you now have one less day to buy presents for your mother. You are a bad child. Herewith, five more chances to make things right, so don't screw it up, or wait for tomorrow... Get these things now:

[$59, Ruby et Violette]

20. Ruby et Violette Cookies

These are easily the most delicious, and tasteful cookies I've ever had in my entire life. And I've had a lot of cookies. Ruby et Violette hand makes each and every one of their delectable morsels, and lucky for you, child of a mother, ships them out in gorgeous gift packs. You can choose from a number of options, but why not go for the Chenonceau, which comes with 18 cookies, or 9 brownies. Your mom deserves it.

[$95, MOMA]

19. Luna Watch

Nothing quite says, "Mom, thanks for all your years with this company, and by company, I mean giving birth to and raising me," like a classy watch from the MOMA store.

[$59, Williams-Sonoma]

18. Recipe & Entertaining Journal

All kidding aside, one of the things I remember best about growing up is cooking with my mom. Making everything from big dinners, to cookies, to breakfast, recipes and being in the kitchen has always been a part of my life. That's why I think my Mom at least would love this Recipe and Entertaining Journal, to keep her (and our) favorite recipes in a leather-bound journal, to last for the ages.

[$100, Food Network]

17. Barefoot Contessa All Chocolate Basket

I don't know if I've mentioned yet that my mother and I liked cooking together. Probably not. Also, I don't think I've put anything on this list about food, or dessert. But for the sake of argument, say I had, what would make this basket special? Well, first off, Barefoot Contessa stuff is delicious across the board. Second of all, a chocolate sweet tooth is something that my mother, and my grandmother both share with a passion. So yeah, this would be a good gift.

[$99, Zoombak]

16. Zoombak, so your mom always knows where you are

If there's one thing I've learned in my time here at Modern Materialist, it's that women over the age of fifty love gadgets. Kidding! But even with my grade school days far behind me, I'm betting my Mom wouldn't turn down the chance to know where I was at all times.

Don't F*ck With Me When I'm Hungry

Steph Auteri — Mon, 04 May 2009 18:01:00 GMT

Hangry...food swings...whatever you call it, emotional turmoil brought on by extreme hunger is nothing to be trifled with. If you come between me and my next food fix, I'm liable to morph into a raging, slobbering, scary beast.

Which is why the people over at the Wexner Center Store better watch their backs.

[$4.95, Wexner Center Store]

In case you were straining to read the fine print, it says: "*guaranteed no weight gain chocolate. Warning: manufacturer guarantee is void if packaging has been tampered with. May cause weight gain if used incorrectly. Not to be taken seriously."

Related: A Bad Idea During PMS

Chocolate Phonograph - Not What You Think

Alex Zalben — Mon, 04 May 2009 17:02:00 GMT

When I tell you the above is a chocolate phonograph, you may think you know what I mean, but you're wrong... These aren't made out of chocolate:

They're designed to play records made out of chocolate. No joke. You can probably already guess why this didn't catch on, but just in case we're a little slow today, the phographs, besides being noisy, and fragile, were aimed at children, who didn't really have the warewithal to not eat the records as soon as they came out of the box.

I made chocolate records once, but that was just a personal record of how much chocolate I could eat.

[Via The Presurfer]

Add Chocolate To Everything

Steph Auteri — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 18:52:00 GMT

I've already told you about my morning experience with cold-brewed coffee. How much better would it be if I could easily sprinkle some chocolate on top?

[$35, Williams-Sonoma]

This chocolate mill quickly creates chocolate shavings out of your average, store-bought chocolate chunks. Delish!

What would you add chocolate to?

Related: Huffing Chocolate

Huffing Chocolate

Shaun Seneviratne — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:02:00 GMT

It's allergy season and my asthma is about to start destroying my lungs. I've yet to see a doctir and refill my meds. Though this may not help with my deathly wheezing, at least the Le Whif chocolate inhaler will provide temporary satisfaction for my body:

Le Whif is the brainchild of David Edwards, an author and Harvard Professor, and Le Laboratorie, an art and science innovation center. The idea is the get your chocolate fix by inhaling it so you get the chocolate taste but none of the chocolate calories.

The chocolate inhaler isn't available on their website yet, but should be towards the end of the month.

Here's a quick clip of Le Whif in action:

The experiments involved in the creation of Le Whif inspired Edwards' latest graphic novel, Whiff.

Le Whif is available in mint chocolate, rasberry chocolate, mango chocolate, and milk chocolate.

[£39 (Approx. $58), Le Whif]

[Via Boing Boing]

Chocolate Covered Peeps

Alex Zalben — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 14:03:00 GMT

So, you either love Peeps, hate Peeps, or just want to see what happens when you stick one in a microwave. But I think we can all agree that Chocolate Covered Peeps is the best idea of all time:

[$12, Chocolate.com]

[Via Mighty Goods]

Test Drive: Bacon Smackdown + Contest

Steph Auteri — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:33:00 GMT

People. You may not have noticed but, here at MM, we really love bacon (what's not to love!?). Which leads us to seek out the oddest bacon products ever.

Don't let the title of this post mislead you. I am not test driving five different types of maple bacon. Though I should. Just for fun. I mean, I'm eating maple bacon right now just to get in the spirit of things.

Rather, I'm testing out some of the bizarre bacon products we've posted about in the past, and then some. Check it:

[$3.99, J&D's]

While I typically only use 100% pure petroleum jelly or Burt's Beeswax on my mutilated lips — as I find most lip glosses and lip balms dry out the lips due to their alcohol content — I was thrilled to receice this bacon lip balm unsolicited. Sometimes, while I'm sitting here blogging, I slather it on just so that I can pretend I'm eating bacon.

Pros: Have the scintillating scent of bacon hovering just underneath your nose for as long as it lasts.

Cons: Does not actually moisturize lips for the long-term. And is not actually bacon.

[$5.99, J&D's]

Speaking of J&D's, I got them to send me a jar of their Baconnaise, a bacon-flavored spread with much the same consistency as mayonnaise. Opening up a jar of Baconnaise is like leaning over a vat of ranch dressing, with bacon bits stirred in. And then you realize it's Baconnaise, and your stomach clenches, and you almost don't want to eat bacon ever again. Almost. And then you just go for it.

Pros: It does, indeed, taste distinctly of bacon.

Cons: Having bacon in mayo form still makes me want to hurl.

[$15.99, J&D's]

Alex has already done a taste test of bacon salt in the past, but I thought I should remind you of its existence, just to be completely thorough.I don't have much to add to Alex's assessment, but:

Pros: Healthy. salt. Srsly. Gluten free and low sodium, and can salt things up to my heart's content, all with the scrumptious taste of bacon.

Cons: I can't think of a one, unless you count the fact that Peppered has a bit too much of a kick for my taste. You should totally read Alex's post for a more detailed assessment.

[$7.50, Vosges]

In addition to this chocolate bar, the kind people over at Vosges also sent me this flying chocolate pig. Mo's Bacon Bar is made with applewood smoked bacon, Alder wood smoked salt, and deep milk chocolate. I assume it was created with the belief that things as awesome as bacon and chocolate should be combined.

Pros: Things this awesome were combined.

Cons: I don't know if it's because I don't eat a lot of chocolate, but...aside from finding the milk chocolate too rich, there was just something about the flavor combination that didn't...feel right. I mean, you're supposed to balance your sweet with your salty, but you're not necessarily supposed to mix them together. Nibbling on this bacon chocolate bar, I found myself overwhelmed by both the richness of the chocolate and the saltiness of the actual bits of bacon.

[$11.95 or $119.95 for a case of 12 cans, MREdepot]

Yes. I risked life and limb and food poisoning to test out bacon in a can. For you. Each can contains 9 ounces of fully cooked and drained bacon, and has an alleged shelf life of at least 10 years. Here is what it looks like when you open the can:

Pros: I don't know about you, but whenever I try to fry bacon, I invariably under- or over-cook it. It's nice to be able to just pop open a can and either eat it cold (yes, ew, I know) or just quickly heat it up in the microwave.

Cons: It definitely tasted like bacon, and I didn't die or anything but...well, maybe I'm just spoiled by all that maple bacon I buy, but I just wasn't...loving the bacon. That and, beyond all rational thought, I kept fearing that I was going to keel over and die. Upon unrolling the bacon, and getting its slick, sticky fat all over my fingers, I felt more keenly than at any other time that I was going to die young because of my unhealthy eating habits. It almost made me swear off bacon for good. But not quite.

And there you have it folks. Do with this information what you will. And if you're feeling particularly brave, leave a comment about the weirdest bacon product you've ever tried, or the oddest but most ingenius bacon recipe you've ever thrown together, and have the chance to win one of these five cans of bacon sitting next to my desk. Good luck and godspeed.

Better Than a Box of Chocolates

Steph Auteri — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 14:02:00 GMT

Is the ubiquitous box of chocolates your go-to gift? For Valentine's Day? Father's Day? Mother's Day? Birthdays? God! Mix it up a little! If you show up with a box of these, at least no one will be able to accuse you of being boring:

[$5.50, Edible]

Chocolate-covered giant ants.

[$30, Edible]

Giant hornet's honey (this horrifies me).

[$18, Edible]

Giant toasted ants.

[$34, Edible]

Scorpions.

How To Be Irresistible for Under $100

Laureen Mahler — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 14:52:00 GMT

Want to know how to be irresistible for under $100? It's simple (and it doesn't involve mannequins or wearing lacy panties):

[$95, Lucky Scent]

It's Montale's Chocolate Greedy perfume. With its delectable hint of "luscious ganache" for the "sensuous gourmand," this perfume will indeed make you irresistibly tasty-smelling.

This Chocolate Is Dynamite

Laureen Mahler — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 21:04:00 GMT

This dynamite has a secret... it's actually hot chocolate mix! How it works + more images after the jump:

[UQAM]

The hot cocoa mix is actually those pellets at the bottom of the photo, and you pull the "fuse" to get them out of the package. Explosive, no? Alas, these hot chocolate dynamite sticks are but a concept...

Chew on These Pencils

Diana Vilibert — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 21:44:00 GMT

I'm not a pencil chewer, but I would definitely chew on these:

These chocolate pencils come in a number of cocoa blends that vary in intensity, and chocophiles can use the special "pencil sharpener" that comes with it to grate chocolate onto their dessert.

[Nendo]

Related: Paint With Chocolate

Wake Up And Smell The Chocolate

Alex Zalben — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 16:03:00 GMT

What could be better than waking up, and smelling the hot cocoa your SO has made for you? Nothing, other than if you didn't even have to fully wake up:

This pillow is perfumed with chocolate, so you'll always smell (and smell of) the delicious treat.

[52€, Bonjour Mon Coussin]

[Via CribCandy]

Will Strip For Chocolate [NSFW]

Alex Zalben — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 16:49:00 GMT

Want to get a little bit of this going on at home? Then get the home game:

As you travel around the board, you draw cards to see who strips, and who gets painted with chocolate and cherry body frosting. To be fair, I really hope the person that strips gets painted with the frosting, cause that stuff can ruin clothes. And that would be the worst.

[$30, Uncommon Goods]

[Via Outblush]

Midnight Munchies

Steph Auteri — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:34:00 GMT

[Photo via]

This is so not cool.

The other day, I happened to have coffee in the early evening, and then was unable to fall asleep that night. I tossed and turned for hours and, eventually, my tummy started rumbling. Another roadblock to sweet, sweet sleep. I ate two string cheese. I tossed and turned some more. It was a miserable night.

[$67, Bonjour mon coussin]

So how the hell does anyone sleep when they have chocolate- and coffee-scented pillows!?

Break Me Off a Piece of That Kit Kat. . .Bench?

Shaun Seneviratne — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 15:35:00 GMT

Good god I want to take a bite into that thing. This isn't made from real Kit Kats OR for sale; it's an advertising campaign for Kit Kat in London.

For more candy jingles, enjoy this clip from Human Giant:

Human Giant: Commercial Jingles, Part 1 - watch more funny videos

[Via 2Modern Design Talk]

A Sweet Heart for your Sweetheart

Diana Vilibert — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 16:49:00 GMT

This Valentine's Day, give your sweetheard a sweet heart--this anatomically correct heart comes in milk and dark chocolate.

[$16, Pushin Daisies]

Happy Hour: Chocolate x Beer = Deliciously Drunk

Shaun Seneviratne — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 22:01:00 GMT

[photo via]

What do you get when you combine Japan's crisp lagers with their fine chocolates?

Sappora x Royce Chocolate Beer. The rich texture, the creamy head. . . ::slobber::.

Must. have. now.

I hope some of the 72,000 cans produced make it stateside. And make some Royce Confections available while you're at it!

[Sapporo]

[Via The Awesomer]

Related: Happy Hour: Beer Soap

Body Chocolate That's Rated G

Laureen Mahler — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 14:36:00 GMT

Naked chocolate painting certainly sounds fun, but it's not for everybody. Fortunately, for the introverted, shy, or just plain don't want chocolate in your nether regions, here is the all ages version:

[$16, Fred Flare]

Candy lip balm: bringing extra flavor to makeout sessions everywhere, but still keeping it pretty G-rated.

Head of State for the Sweet of Tooth

Laureen Mahler — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:01:00 GMT

Yes, we are a little bit Obama obsessed here at the Modern Materialist, but who can blame us? With so many Obama-inspired products on the scene, it would be downright irresponsible not to keep you up to date.

So here comes the Northwest's contribution to Obamania:

[$20, Pink White Brown]

Choc-O-Bama! This is truly "change we can sink our teeth into."

Though after this sugary treat and last week's Yes Pecan ice cream, somebody better invent an Obama Diet...

Chocolate + Thongs: A Recipe for Disaster

Diana Vilibert — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 16:31:00 GMT

What happens when thongs and chocolate come together? Pretty much what you would expect:

The company promises that your body heat will start melting the chocolate thong as soon as you slip it on. You know, as if it's a good thing. Are we all in agreement that this seems like a bad idea, or did I not get the memo that melted chocolate in your nether regions is the new "hey, let's try whipped cream!"?

[$10.98, The Lighter Side]

Fondue or Don't

Shaun Seneviratne — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 21:31:00 GMT

[photo via]

The above scene makes me lean closer to "don't".

For those who want to fondue in style:

[£29.36 (Approx. $44), Panik]

[Via woohome]

Related: Cheap Trick: Mini Fondue

The Right Way To Self-Medicate

Steph Auteri — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 14:21:00 GMT

I've been on and off meds for several years now (who hasn't?), but I've always maintained a certain wariness toward the quick chemical fix. Lexapro...Xanax...Yaz...they're all well and good, but I've decided to prescribe myself a new pill (and it's not Klonopin...no matter how much Gawker talks it up...):

These pills are 100% chocolate, and can be taken without water (though a glass of milk is sometimes recommended).

[$6, prezzybox]

A Bad Idea During PMS

Diana Vilibert — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 21:47:00 GMT

When I'm eating chocolate, I prefer to be completely oblivious as to how many calories I'm actually ingesting. Which is why I hope this concept chocolate bar stays a concept:

"Rompibollo" is a chocolate board which can be easly divided in pieces of different sizes--and on each piece is the exact calorie count you're about to eat. No thank you.

[Elmanco]

Related: Chocolate Pie Chart

Chocolate Pie Chart

Alex Zalben — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:02:00 GMT

Normally, I'd keep math out of my snacks, but I'll make an exception in this case. The Chocolate Pie Chart from Mary & Matt contains 70% milk, 20% dark and 10% white chocolate. Now personally, I'd do this:

100% dark chocolate. But that's just me. If you could customize this chart, what would your Chocolate Chart look like?

[$20, Mary & Matt]

[Via Swiss Miss]

Things The Swiss Are Good At

Alex Zalben — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 15:28:00 GMT

Things the Swiss Are Good at:

- Peace.

- Cheese.

- Building treehouses when lost on an island.

- Chocolate.

- Knives.

Now, they may not have figured out how to make Peace Cheese (yet), but they have combined the last two:

The Swiss Chocolate Knife is filled with chocolate (natch), and hazelnut praline (yum). Now let's get working on that Peace Cheese, okay guys?

[$3, Swiss Knife Shop]

[Via CribCandy]

Don't Get Chocolate Feet

Alex Zalben — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 18:32:00 GMT

Hey, you know when people say on your wedding day, "Don't get chocolate feet?"

What do you mean no-one ever says that? They'll sure start when they see this:

A former podiatrist has built an online "empire" entirely devoted to foot themed candy, centered around his homemade foot chocolates. Yum?

Also, I need to work on my intros.

[$19, Toefood]

[Via TrendHunter]

Related: Paint With Chocolate

Concepts We Wish Would Succeed: Counting Calories

Steph Auteri — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 19:30:00 GMT

I'm usually too lazy to read the nutrition labels on my groceries. I mean, my trip to the market would probably lengthen exponentially if I started comparing calories, grams of fat, sodium, etc.

And I never know if it's worse to have higher fat or higher sodium or what have you. What to choose!? What to choose!?

[Above Idea Design]

Paint With Chocolate

Alex Zalben — Mon, 19 May 2008 21:30:00 GMT

Galler Belgain Chocolate, based (domestically, at least) in Ft. Luaderdale, has created what they call a unique chocolate experience, Kaori. Each box comes with six different flavored chocolate sticks, and three spiced “inkpots.” The idea is to take a chocolate stick, dip it in a flavor pot, and either “paint” on a sheet of paper, or, you know, eat it.

According to Jean Galler, the creator of the chocolate set, the flavors are:

The Chocolates: 

1) Vanilla & Coconut: coconut milk and vanilla pods from Madagascar. 

2) Saffron: saffron is taken from a small perennial plant ( a crocus ), the stigmas are harvested and dried. Saffron is both a spice and a dye used in pharmacy and calligraphy. Its powers are varied: in ancient times, it was called "The heart of man",and it was already well known as a sexual stimulant 4,600 years ago in China. It is good for the liver, soothes the effects of wine drinking and is a remedy for spasms. 

3) Strawberry & Balsamic: balsamic vinegar is a seasoning made from Italian "Trebliano" grapes. It is put in casks for several months, sometimes even years, to get its sweetness and remarkable concentration. 

4) Cardamom: it comes from a type of reed, its highly perfumed green pods contain seeds that are dried. These seeds are used mainly as a spice in the East. It has the power of heightening pleasure ... 

5) yuzu: a Japanese citrus fruit halfway between an orange and a mandarin. 

6) ginger: ginger comes originally from Asia. It is a very commonly used spice in a lot of different Asiatic cooking styles, but mainly in Indian cuisine. It is the tuberous root of the plant that is used. It lowers cholesterol and has an anti-inflammatory effect.  

The Seasonings: 

a) Calamansi juice: calamansi is a Japanese citrus fruit that is similar to a lemon. By process of reduction, our seasoning has a perfect consistency.

b) Orange powder: orange rind with cocoa nibs. 

c) Green powder: Green tea with poppy.

 
The chocolate is still in production, so no pricing yet, but head over to the Galler site to check out more of their delicious looking selection.

[Galler USA]

[Via Trend Hunter]

Chocolate Covered Bacon + Video!

Alex Zalben — Fri, 09 May 2008 18:00:00 GMT

For a blog obsessed with gadgets and doo-dads, it sure took us a long time to figure out how to use our webcam, didn’t it? In any case, the all-text portion of Modern Materialist’s life-span is over, as we have signed up for a YouTube account (that took us a while, too). So now, we’ll be bringing you videos of some of the latest gadgets and products we pick up, with our impressions and pretty mugs, now in muddled, unfocused, moving format. You can subscribe to our YouTube channel over here, and be sure to leave us a nice comment! Or two!

To kick things off, Luca Chocolates from Ramseur, NC was nice to make me a special batch of chocolate covered bacon, fulfilling a life-long dream of mine. Check out the video below, and then hit back for more info, and pricing:

Still here? Cool. What’d you think, huh? I’m pretty shiny, right? And I don’t know how to look into the webcam yet? Anyway, here’s the background info, for those of you non-video watchers: I posted a contest to win some chocolate covered bacon, as long as you could find out for me where it came from. One intrepid reader, Leslie Cooper, let me know that if I couldn’t find some, she'd make it for me.

So I ended up getting sent an assortment that included:

- Bacon Topped Caramel
- Bacon Covered Caramel
- Salted, Chocolate Covered Bacon
- A Tiramisu Cream
- Bourbon and Black Pepper Truffle

Hands down, the Bourbon and Black Pepper Truffle was the best thing in the assortment… A smooth, creamy truffle with hints of liquor, and a sharp, peppery aftertaste. Completely surprising, and completely delicious.

As for the bacony treats, the Bacon Covered Caramel was the most delicious. It was salted caramel, which I’m a big fan of, covered in dark chocolate, with a crunchy stick of bacon on top. Salty, sweet, and perfectly balanced.

I will say that for the actual chocolate covered bacon itself (i.e., a slice of bacon covered in chocolate), I could use more bacon, and less chocolate; but at the same time, I would bet that’s exactly what most consumers don’t want.

If more people end up buying the bacon covered chocolate, Luca Chocolates says that they’ll start marketing ‘em, and selling on the website. So head on over, and let them know if you’d like to try some yourself. It’ll be $16.95 for the half pound, $32.95 for the full pound.

[Luca Chocolates]