The Modern Materialist : drinkware

Happy Hour: Beer Bands

Alex Zalben — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:01:00 GMT

Oh yeah, it's time for the first Happy Hour of the day. And though it may not seem like it now, you're going to need the Beer Band:

Beer Bands offer the safety of knowing your beer is marked with a personal message, like "control freak," or "sex addict," that is going to keep potential beer-stealers away. And though in another hour or two you won't be able to read the message, you'll still be able to identify the bright, pretty colors.

[$9, Wishing Fish]

[Via OutBlush]

Happy Hour: Red, White, and Blue Drinks

Alex Zalben — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 22:00:00 GMT

After a day like today, waiting, waiting, and still waiting for any sort of news, I think what's in order is to get totally, completely wiznasted. So herewith: red, white, and blue drinks.

Red:

This Sangria Pitcher has a pocket for ice, so you can keep your wine/fruit combo cool, without watering it down. Pretty rad.

[$50, Cooking Enthusiast]

Not in the mood for Sangria (though you should be)? Then why not try the All American:

1 oz. Bourbon
1 oz. Southern Comnfort
2 oz. Coca Cola

Combine in a high ball glass filled with ice. Adjust the amount of Coke to taste. Probably more brown, than red and blue, actually.

...and that's all I got. Happy Election Day!

Happy Hour: Working Hard?

Alex Zalben — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Honestly, it was a bit of a toss-up between the post title I put up, and "Get Hammered." What do you guys think it should have been, especially given what the above hammer actually is:

[£12, GadgetBox]

[Via Nerd Approved]

Happy Hour: Your Frat Party Just Got Frattier [NSFW]

Alex Zalben — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Hey, remember how much fun it was to drink from a funnel at a frat party? No? It wasn't fun at all? Cool, well what if it looked like this:

For the record, I refrained from posting the "Dong Bong."

[$23, Sexy Beer Bongs]

[Via Nerd Approved]

Happy Hour: Horny Party Animals

Alex Zalben — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Hey, who wouldn't want to do shots with these horny party animals:

I know, if I liked doing shots, I totally would. Also, yes, I realize bears don't have horns. Leave me alone.

[$55, Generate]

Happy Hour: Make Your Own Wine

Alex Zalben — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:00:00 GMT

There are two ways to make your own wine. You could do it the hard way:

- Purchase a vineyard.

- Lovingly develop the grapes, cultivating your own blend over years.

- Hire hundreds of workers to process your wine.

- Put together a distribution method.

- Go bankrupt.

Or, you can do it the easy way:

The WinePod isn't cheap, but it comes with software that takes you step by step. And, you can do the whole thing out of your home.

[$4500, WinePod]

[Via TechFresh]

Happy Hour: Caulk Suckers

Alex Zalben — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:00:00 GMT

How can you turn the above caulk gun into a fun time party? It's easy, if you follow this instructional video, and the buying instructions below:

I wonder if Michelle L'Amour is her real name?

[$10, Drinking Stuff]

[Via Craziest Gadgets]

Happy Hour: Bierstick

Alex Zalben — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 21:00:00 GMT

So... Any guesses how this thing works? Or what it does?

Turns out, it has nothing to do with sucking the heart out of one of your fellow Hotgirls™ chests, and everything to do with drinking twenty four ounces of beer in less than two seconds.

Uh. Gross. I’m so glad I’m not in college anymore.

[$20, Bierstick]

[Via LiquorSnob]

Happy Hour: Yin & Yang

Alex Zalben — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Though the Yin seems to be a little bigger than that Yang (or is it the other way around?), you’ve got to admit that this plastic shot glasses are anything but Zen. That being said, having different colored liquors in each part will look pretty sweet, and we’ve got the perfect shot for you to use with these:

Yin-Yang Shot
(From Webtender)

½ oz White Chocolate Liqueur (Godet)
½ oz Coffee Liqueur (Kahlua)

Pour one in each half of the Yin Yang Shot Glass. Enjoy!

[$85 for a case of 60, KegWorks]

[Via Nerd Approved]

Happy Hour: Ghosts & Goblets

Alex Zalben — Wed, 28 May 2008 21:00:00 GMT

What can I say, I’m obsessed with spooky ghosts today. Or rather, the idea of ghosts, I guess, because technically, these glasses don’t contain ghosts, either. What they do contain is a floating “goblet” in the center, which makes it look like the liquid inside is floating in a goblet, rather than the simple glass you can see outside.

Also, they’re probably a bitch to clean by hand, so it’s lucky that they’re dishwasher safe. The Ghost Goblet comes in a set of four, with an included gift box.

Now, I would remiss, of course, if I didn't give you a drink to put in this goblet/glass. So naturally, here's a recipe for The Ghost:

1 oz Jack Daniel's® Tennessee whiskey
2 oz vanilla rum
5 oz cream soda

Fill a 16 oz. glass with ice add 1 shot Jack Daniel's, 2 shots Vanilla Rum and top with Cream soda. Drink!

[$75, Cocktail Vibe]

[Via Nerd Approved]

Happy Hour: Party Pump

Alex Zalben — Fri, 16 May 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Though normally I don’t want my booze to remind me of soap, I’ll make an exception for Solutions’ Party Pump. A two gallon dispenser for booze, it works exactly how you think it does:

1) Put booze inside.
2) Squeeze out booze.
3) Get totally wiznasted.
4) Repeat.

The Party Pump is round but it’s got a nice flat bottom, so you can put it easily on the table, or in a cooler full of ice. Yum.

And, speaking of yum, here's a good recipe to use for the Party Pump, taken from drinkspub.com. Just multiply the recipe by about 10 or so, and you have yourself a party (pump):

Strawberry Hard Lemonade

2 oz Lemonade Concentrate
1 oz La Paz® strawberry margarita mix
1 oz Sweet and sour lemon bar mix
2 oz Malibu® Coconut Rum
2 oz vodka

Place all ingredients in a blender with one cup of ice. Blend at the highest setting. Serve in a hurricane glass with a straw, and garnish with lemon and/or strawberry. (Make sure if you don't get La Paz strawberry margarita mix, that you get a margarita mix that has strawberry puree, otherwise the drink isn't as good).

[$20, Solutions]

[Via Book of Joe]

Happy Hour: Ravi Wine Chiller

Alex Zalben — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Here’s a pretty cool little item, pun entirely intended. The Ravi Wine Chiller is a wine (or other liquor) bottle attachment you store in your freezer. When it comes to time to have a nice glass of wine, all you do is snap the frozen part into the included bottle plug, and then pour.

The wine in the bottle instantly chills as it passes through the Ravi. Not only that, but you can adjust both the intensity of the pour, and the temperature of the liquid. That first thing makes it worth it on it’s on, if you’re a sloppy sommelier, like I am.

Now, the only thing I take issue with is… Why are they demoing it with red wine? Not just in this picture, but if you head over to the site, there’s a (non-embeddable) video of the Ravi in action where, again, they demo the unit with red wine. Nice, freezing cold red wine. Weird.

[$50, Wine Enthusiast]

[Via GreenHead]

Happy Hour: Krups Beer Tender

Alex Zalben — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 22:00:00 GMT

Let’s be totally honest with each other, Materialistas: the Krups Beer Tender is only one step above a Kegerator. But it’s a really big, classy step. You want to know why? Because you can only get it from Williams-Sonoma. And you know how you know you can only get it from Williams-Sonoma? Because they tell you twice in the product description:

Available exclusively at Williams-Sonoma, the innovative Beer Tender from Krups allows you to enjoy fresh, perfectly chilled pub-style draft beer at home. The sleek, self-contained appliance features a patented system engineered for compatability with Heineken’s compact five-liter DraughtKegs, the only kegs available featuring the CO2 technology that keeps beer fresh for up to 30 days. The internal carbonation unit ensures that each serving delivers a crisp, refreshing draft brew topped with an optimal head of foam. Freeing up space in your refrigerator, the Beer Tender is simple to use. Just insert a keg and position its tube, then close the lid and select the desired serving temperature. A powerful Peltier cooling system provides precise chilling to three preset temperature settings. Displayed on a digital panel, readouts include both current temperature and desired temperature. Volume and freshness indicators show how much beer remains in the keg and how long it will maintain top quality. 11 3⁄4" x 19" x 16 1⁄2" high. A Williams-Sonoma exclusive.

I love the idea that at the beginning of the description (taken, mind you, from the Williams-Sonoma website), the potential buyer gets excited because they’re reading about an EXCLUSIVE from Williams-Sonoma. "Oh, Williams-Sonoma," they say. "I like their quality." However, by the end of the description, this potential buyer is clearly putting on their jacket, and Mapquesting directions to Best Buy. Or they would be, if there wasn’t a handy reminder that the only place you can get this from is the W-S once again at the end of the paragraph.

The other little downfall with this item is, let’s say, for the sake of argument, there was a subset of the population, and I’m NOT saying they exist, but let’s imagine, hypothetically, that there were people who didn’t like Heinekin. I’M JUST SAYING. Unfortunately, this is Heinekin only technology.

Or let’s say Heinekin discontinues their DraughtKegs. AGAIN I’M JUST SAYING. But you’re kind of left with a useless item.

Those ridiculous hypotheticals out of the way, I’m going to head out right out to Best Buy and pick one up.

[$300, ~~Best Buy~~ Williams-Sonoma]

Quiet Reflection: For That First Cup of the Day

Steph Auteri — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 18:00:00 GMT

[$17.06 USD, Lazybone]

These anamorphic cups by Ross McBride are charming in a swirly, fantastical sort of way, and I sort of wish I had them so I could add them to the massive collection I've been amassing since I got this free mug back in junior high:

I was in marching band, too.

Happy Hour: Floppy Disk Coasters

Alex Zalben — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 22:00:00 GMT

Some of our younger readers* may not remember floppy disks, but Supermandolini sure does. They’ve taken the design of our old friend the 5.25 disk, and turned it into a modern coaster.

When you start getting drunk, and reminiscing about the good old days when “an entire computer was 40 MBs, and we wondered how we would fill all that memory up!” or fondly look back on Kings Quest taking up three floppies of information with its ground-breaking graphics, be sure to put your drink down on one of these, and not the table.

[$54 per 6-pack, Supermandolini]

*Nerve caters to a lot of very precocious babies. Fun-fact!

[Via Technabob]

Happy Hour: Wanna Sip?

Wendy Atterberry — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 22:00:00 GMT

These may be the sexiest tumbler glasses every made. I don't even care that they're designed specifically for cognac, to increase "the pleasure of the deep color and movement of the liquid." I think my pleasure would be increased even if they were filled with apple juice. Or cranberry juice! Or anything that sat in the bottom of the glass, cocked to the side seductively as if to whisper huskily, "Wanna sip?" But yeah, the cognac would be pretty good.

[$50, Fitzsu]