The Modern Materialist : geeky

Shirt Of The Day: Rock, Paper, Scissorhands

Alex Zalben — Thu, 14 May 2009 14:02:00 GMT

In the world of geekery, there's nothing more important than the question, "Who would win in a fight. The answer, in this case, is The Thing.

[$18, Ratfink]

[Via Fashionably Geek]

Related: My Little Leia, Never Say Neverland

Creepiest Alf Painting Ever

Alex Zalben — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:03:00 GMT

Hey, want to buy the creepiest acrylic painting of Alf ever (and yes, I know this is a pretty limited field)? Then check out the full picture, uncropped for your safety, below:

I gotta be honest, even though it's horribly creepy, I also totally love it. And it's called "I Can Has A.L.F.?" which is just great. This is currently being shown at Los Angeles' Gallery 1988, which is hosting a show on television's Guilty Pleausres.

[$1200, Idiot Box 1988]

[Via Slash Film]

To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before [NSFWish]

Alex Zalben — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 14:06:00 GMT

Literally. I don't think any man alive has ever poured himself into a Star Trek inspired corset. And ladies, if you're wondering... Yes, this is a sexy turn-on. To geeks. Yes. Drool.

A few more (geek sexy) pics, then pricing:

[$200, Etsy]

Your Stardate Will Be Over If She Sees This

Alex Zalben — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 16:02:00 GMT

In college, I bought this blow-up Darth Maul chair, and thought it was the coolest thing ever. This was when I wasn't dating anyone, so, there is that. And though what you're about to see is certainly an upgrade, it still boldly goes where no man hoping to get nooky should go before (or after):

It's a life sized, original captain's chair from Star Trek! No word on price yet, but it should be available soon at your local Nerd Hut.

[Via Newsarama]

Hoodie of the Day: Punching Out

Alex Zalben — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 16:31:00 GMT

Is this the geekiest hoodie of all time? Possibly:

The front is a reproduction of Little Mac's hoodie from Mike Tyson's Punch-Out. The back has some words of wisdom from the game. And, the inner pockets come with mittens that look like boxing gloves. I think I may need to buy this.

[Via Kotaku]

These Rulers Are No Optical Illusion

Alex Zalben — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 18:34:00 GMT

I like optical illusions. I like rulers. I mean, I use rulers, I'm not like, in LOVE with them. But the two together do make a glorious whole:

Glorious might have been overstating it a bit.

[$10, Think Geek]

The San Francisco Gun-Treat

Alex Zalben — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:29:00 GMT

This doesn't look like a deadly gun, and, in point of fact, it's not. It's actually a...

...Fog gun! It shoots out a spheroid of fog at your friends (or enemies) that is perfectly safe and non toxic. Unless you don't want it to be safe... Oh, also, the San Francisco thing is because San Fran gets a lot of fog, right?

[$20, Think Geek]

iFurniture: Throw Pillows For Mac Users

Shaun Seneviratne — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 16:28:00 GMT

I always had a feeling that one day Apple would take over the world. It really is only a matter of time when cars, toilets, and pants are iCars, iToilets, and iPants. And I honestly don't have a problem with that. I think I'll start with my throw pillows:

This is the perfect gift for the Mac-lete in your life. Throwboy (a company that fellow Modern Materialist Alex Zalben reported on here) offers an assortment of nerdy pillows from RSS Feeds to Apple icons to internet abbreviations.

[photo via]

[$29, Throwboy]

[Via Missbehave]

Shirt of the Day: Spock's Massage Parlor

Alex Zalben — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 16:03:00 GMT

Hey, did you guys see that new Star Trek trailer? Pretty awesome, right? Well, while watching the trailer, did you start to wonder what would happen if Spock gave out massages? Somebody did:

[$18, Cafepress]

[Via Fashionably Geek]

Control Her Garter

Alex Zalben — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 21:28:00 GMT

Want to have a sneaky geek wedding? Not confident enough to walk down to the aisle to the Imperial March, but still want to tell your future spouse you've get the geek cred to get him in bed? Then you'll want to check out Etsy user kizette's shop, For the Love of the Geek:

Besides the above, kizette will take ideas for whatever geeky custom garter (or necklace) you want. So get to it, nerds.

[$23, Etsy]

Get Tricia Helfer Nude

Alex Zalben — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 22:30:00 GMT

Want to get Battlestar Galactica's Tricia Helfer totally nekkid? Then check out this:

BattlestarProps.com is having a series of auctions selling off the props and costumes to Battlestar Galactica, including Caprica Six's red dress, the costume Tricia Helfer wore on the show. I mean, I guess this was a little bit of a trick, because I'm not 100% sure that:

A) Tricia Helfer wears this dress all the time.

B) She doesn't wear anything under it.

Really should have thought this one through, huh?

Anyway, all auctions benefit the United Way, and tons of info can be found online here.

Guess What This Fuzzball Does

Alex Zalben — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 21:32:00 GMT

Can you guess what this fuzzball does? I'll give you a hint... If you can guess it, you're going to feel bad afterwards:

Yup, it's a Tribble replica from the classic Star Trek episode. And, it "talks." You nerd.

[$28, You BuyNow]

[Via Nerd Approved]

Hat(s) of the Day: Adult Swim Caps

Alex Zalben — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:33:00 GMT

This Meatwad hat is pretty rad and all, but if you're into ATHF, this next one is even more awesome and geeky:

I don't need to tell you this Ignigknot, who single-handedly brought Boston to his, er, knees, right?

[$15, Williams Street]

[Via Fashionably Geek]

Halloween Tip: The Spookiest Geek Pillows

Alex Zalben — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 18:02:00 GMT

It's Halloween week here at the Modern Boo-terialist (I know, it's a stretch), and there may perhaps be nothing geekier than Halloween pillows that look like the Mac OS icon. Some more versions:

[$39, Etsy]

[Via Nerd Approved]

Shirt of the Day: Bar Trekkin'

Alex Zalben — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 13:02:00 GMT

Mix what you did this weekend, with your favorite television show (nerd!), and you've got our shirt of the day. Here's a closer look:

[$18, Go Ape Shirts]

[Via Slash Film]

Halloween Tips: Top 10 Sexy Geek Costumes [NSFW]

Alex Zalben — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 20:33:00 GMT

Halloween is right around the corner, and as we all know, it's the one time of the year you can be whatever you want, as long as it falls under the heading, "Sexy [Blank]."

It's also the one time of the year everyone can bring out their inner dork, without feeling the shame associated with cosplaying at Anime Conventions. So herewith, we present the top ten "Sexy Geek" costumes:

10. Sexy Pac Man

This gets the ten-spot because, really, there's zero things sexy about Pac-Man, as this "Miss Video Game" costume shows. By the way, I'd also like to say for the record, I originally used this picture for a post about Pac Man couches, and then a week later, everyone on the 'net started posting about the costume without giving credit. Damn you, internet! I'm an awesome trendsetter!

[$50, 3wishes]

9. Sexy Trekker

There's nothing less sexy than Star Trek (except, I guess, Pac-Man). There's also nothing particularly sexy about the button, which implies that tonight, you want to lose your virginity. Though, I guess Halloween is supposed to be scary, right?

Also, yes, Trekkies call themselves Trekkers now. And no, I'm not going to tell you how I know that.

[$40, Costume Zone]

8. Sexy Sally From Nightmare Before Christmas

This is an actual, real, honestly good geeky costume. Shame on you, Party America. Don't you know if you're goiing to do a Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas Halloween costume, she should be wearing a bikini and thigh-highs?

[$35, Party America]

7. Sexy Indiana Jones

Let's ignore the piss poor Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull (though not its more alcoholic after effects). This costume is worth it to wear so you can hook up with a dude, and at just the right moment, look him in the eye, and say, "Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes."

[$74, 3wishes]

6. Sexy Freddy Kreuger

Nothing sexier than a girl with gigantic, razor sharp claws, am I right boys? Get out of my dreams, and into my... No seriously, just get out of my dreams.

[$47, Party America]

5. Sexy Ghostbuster

A few weeks ago, Bill Murray talked about how it would be a big step forward for the Ghostbusters franshise if the next movie had a female Ghostbuster. I'm also sure this is the costume he had in mind. Possible Hook Up Line: "Wanna cross streams?" Actually, that's gross, never mind.

[$60, Ricky's]

4. Sexy Death Eater (From Harry Potter)

Ah! Not sexy! NOT SEXY!

[$35, Halloween Adventure]

3. Sexy Trixie (From Speed Racer)

I think I spent the entire time watching Speed Racer (which, by the way, wasn't nearly as bad as you've heard it is) wanting to make out with Christina Ricci as Trixie. So, yes, I do think this is sexy, thank you. On the other hand, the costume of another Christina Ricci character just makes me uncomfortable.

[$45, Spirit Halloween]

2. Sexy Supergirl

Actually, this is Supergirl's costume. They didn't have to tart it up at all, which is making me very confused, as it's impossible to be snarky about an accurate reproduction of a sexy, geeky Halloween costumethat succeeds on all levels. I'm sure there's a large hole cut in the butt, or something.

[$70, Ricky's]

1. Sexy Slave Leia

Come on, what else did you think would be number one? We've certainly talked about our aggravation with this being the pinnacle of geek sexiness before, but, well... It's the pinnacle of geek sexiness. So, that's going on.

[$375, Leia's Metal Bikini]

The Dorkiest Product in MM History

Alex Zalben — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 21:32:00 GMT

We've posted some enormously dorky things in the relatively short history of Modern Materialist. And by "we," I mean, "me." However, this, no joke, trumps everything we've ever posted, all together. Whatever you think it is, it's dorkier than that:

See that? It's a fifteen button mouse for use with World of Warcraft. Each button can be customized for a specific hotkey. Plus, it glows in over 16 million colors. Oh, and if you get it, you'll never have friends again. That parts free with every purchase!

Anyway, it occurs to me this is possibly just sad, not dorky, so why don't we get the new Weird Al single in here? That should nerd things up a bit:

The mouse will be $90 when it goes on sale in November. Sigh.

[$90, SteelSeries]

[Via Gizmodo]

Shirt of the Day: Ferrous Wheel

Alex Zalben — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 13:59:00 GMT

Have I mentioned I like math and science jokes? Because I do:

[$15, Think Geek]

A Nice Reset of Cups

Alex Zalben — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 20:02:00 GMT

You don't need a new set of cups and saucers; you just need to reset 'em:

[MOD Design]

[Via Geeky Gadgets]

Related: Create Art, Then Drink From It

Stick Your Click In It

Alex Zalben — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 22:00:00 GMT

Ooo, look at that. I wonder what happens when you click on it:

Yup, turns out it's a kite. Wait, what? You thought I was talking about who now?

No pricing available; however, you can contact the company to order one.

[WindFire Designs]

[Via Slippery Brick]

Shirt of the Day: Snakes on a Plane

Alex Zalben — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 19:02:00 GMT

It seems like we're posting funny shirts more and more often here, so I ask you, Materialistas: should we have a shirt of the day? Regardless of what's decided, this is my favorite shirt of today:

Man, I love math jokes.

[$23, Gifts for a Geek]

[Via Fashionably Geek]

Slave Leia [NSFWish]

Alex Zalben — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:21:00 GMT

After seeing the above picture passed around the nets today, I have to take a stand.

Look. I know why the Slave Leia costume is uber-hot to nerds everywhere. However, enough already. Dressing up as Slave Leia is the equivalent of being a sexy kitty-cat on Halloween. It's not creative, and I've now seen enough pictures of Slave Leia, not to mention in person (proof below), that it's not even sexy anymore.

That being said...

If you're gonna dress as Slave Leia, I guess you can get one of the above costumes. They're made to order, and range from $325-$375, plus shipping. And, you'll make that money back in Geek Gropes, right?

[Leia's Metal Bikini]

Oh, and here's that picture I promised:

I was doing this whole thing where I high-fived people at New York Comic-Con last year, which you can check out if you like:

Want To Play With Some Boobs?

Alex Zalben — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 13:00:00 GMT

Ultimate geek fantasy time: Designer John Nouanesing has created the Geekini, which (in theory) is a game controller built into a bikini.

Ultimate geek reality time: You put this on, and I guarantee your BF will basically spend the next four hours mashing your breasts and crotch, while essentially ignoring you.

Not that that's any different than the rest of your sex life. Oh snap! I said it! I said it!

Here's another pic, pervos:

[Tigidi]

[Via Trendhunter]

Two Ways To Say I Love You in Binary

Alex Zalben — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 20:30:00 GMT

#1: 01001001001000000110110001101111011101100110010100100000011110010110111101110101

#2:

[£65, English Cufflinks]

[Via Geek Alerts]

Free Stuff: Firefox 3

Alex Zalben — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 16:00:00 GMT

For those of you who don't use Firefox to browse the Internet... Shame on you. Firefox is easier to use, faster, and safer than Internet Explorer, or even Safari (though it pains the Apple Center of my brain to say so).

If you are one of those people who haven't started using Firefox, or even if you're a current user, I have some good news for you:

Today sees the release of Firefox 3, the next generation of browsing software. And, as an added, super cute bonus, Mozilla is trying to break the world's record for most downloaded software in a twenty-four hour period. So won't you help the poor little guys out, and download their program?

You can find out more info at Spread Firefox, or just head over the to home page and download it now!

Geek Out: VG Controller Pillow

Alex Zalben — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 13:30:00 GMT

I think we all have a good sense here of what sort of things we like, right? Steph and Wendy like delicate assemblages of tasteful furniture and clothing, while I like video game pillows.

At least, that’s what I assume Wendy was telling me when she e-mailed me this particular item, saying she thought of me when she saw it. And I’d get super pissed about it too, except, well, she’s totally spot on.

Can I go out on a limb and say this is the perfect gaming pillow? It’s 20”x20”, which is great for putting in your lap, which means it’s great for resting your controller on while waiting for a Cut-Scene to load. And, you can probably find whatever controller you’re using, and place it on its own picture! How cool is that? Pretty cool, I’d say.

The pillow is out of stock now, but you can check out the rest of the items in their store at the link below.

Oh, and bonus prize to anyone who can spot the prototype controller on the pillow, and tell me what system it was for.

[Upper Playground]

Geek Out: Nintendo Family Tree Shirt

Alex Zalben — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 13:30:00 GMT

I’ve decided to change the title of this particular feature to Geek Out, rather than Retro Arcade. Mainly because there’s way more geeky products out there than old school arcade stuff, but also because I need a place to just, you know, hang and be myself. You know what I’m talking about my fellow Geek-burgers.

In any case, let me know what you think… If you guys were digging the retro stuff*, I’ll bring it back. But otherwise, get ready to… Geek out!

To kick this off, I’m totally digging this Nintendo family tree shirt by NerdyShirts… It depicts every single iteration of the console, from the Famitsu, to the DS. I also really like the fact that’s very light and subtle, while still being pretty complex. So from far away, it’ll look like you’re wearing a haute couture t-shirt**, but up close, you look like a super smart video game historian. Two missions accomplished!

If you really want to get fancy, take a red pen, and put a check mark next to every iteration of the NES you’ve owned at some point in your life. I’m not sure if it’s awesome, or sad, that my version of this shirt would be one big red check-mark.

Here's a close-up:

[$20, NerdyShirts]

*And no worries, I’m still going to post retro stuff here. I know you were all worried. Right?

**Yes, I totally know what haute couture is, and how it involves t-shirts.

Star Wars Golf Bags

Alex Zalben — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:00:00 GMT

I can’t imagine this golf bag will make you the hit of the course, but then… I don’t play golf.

[$500, StarWars.com]

[Via Dvice]

Nerd Apex Reached: Dungeons and Dragons

Alex Zalben — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 21:30:00 GMT

I am going to end this day of geek-out with what is, by far, the geekiest thing I have ever been involved in: Dungeons and Dragons. In Junior High, I would get together with a group of friends on the weekend, and play D&D. I can’t tell you exactly what my character was because, honestly, we were pretty casual about the whole thing.

We were all nerdy outcasts, so it was a lot more about the camaraderie, and getting together, than about playing the game. Though, don’t get me wrong, we played the game. For hours. And hours.

However, this was not my nerdiest encounter with D&D. Not by a long shot. I swear, there’s no reason I should ever admit this in a public forum, but this is, without a doubt, the nerdiest thing I have ever done in my entire life. Ready?

I used to play Dungeons and Dragons… By myself.

I was a pretty smart kid, and would get done with my homework early. So to kill time before dinner, I would take out my D&D kit, break out the dice, and play a game with myself. And I was honest about it, the entire time. If I got a bad dice role, I’d go with it. I developed my character, work on it, and then would play, in my desk, in my room, alone.

So yeah.

Anyway, I’m TOTALLY cooler now, because I spend all of my time at home, blogging on the internet about gadgets. Yup, I’m much cooler.

If you want to see what all the fuss is about, you can check out the brand new Fourth Edition Core Rulebook Boxed Set, which is coming out in June.

[$66, Amazon]

Star Trek Red Shirt... Shirt

Alex Zalben — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 20:30:00 GMT

We’re kind of scraping the bottom of geekery here… Not to insult any Trekkers, but even with the J.J. Abrams movie coming out, and Star Wars fandom at all time low, Star Trek is still… Well, it’s Star Trek. You knew what you were getting into when you started calling yourself a Trekker.

That all being said, while I may not being a Trekker, I’ve certainly watched a lot of Star Trek in my time. Certainly enough to discuss the intricacies of Tasha Yar’s history the other day while walking around town with a friend. Okay, fine. I’m a Trekker.

Anyway, as you may or may not know, back in old school Star Trek, there was always a random crew member who would travel to an alien planet with Kirk and Spock, and then get killed. That crew member would always be wearing a red shirt, hence the term Red Shirt meaning a character who is completely expendable. This was famously spoofed in hit American cinema movie, Galaxy Quest.

Think Geek has put together a “cool” shirt to celebrate your status as an expendable crew-member. It’s 50% polyester/50% cotton, and varies in price based on size. Dignity not included.

[$18-$20, Think Geek]