The Modern Materialist : phones

When You're Not in the Mood for a Burger...

Steph Auteri — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 22:53:00 GMT

Sometimes, you get dragged along to McDonalds, and you're just not in the mood, y'know?

(Well, I'm always in the mood. For a Big Mac and fries. But bygones.)

Anyways, just so you're not sitting there, staring at your buddy inhale two double cheeseburgers and a six-pack of chicken mcnuggets, you get a soda to sip on.

Similarly...

[$12.99, SourcingMap]

...sometimes you're just sick of seeing that damn cheeseburger phone from Juno all over the damn place. So you buy a soda fountain phone instead.

[Via Gizmodo]

Retro Internet Phone

Shaun Seneviratne — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:30:00 GMT

It's tough to feel the intimacy of talking to a loved one over a computer through a mic and speakers. Regain some of that closeness with the comfort of this retro-styled internet phone.

This phone plugs into the headphone and mic inputs on your computer and is perfect for popular services like Skype.

Added perk: When you are upset (and have a webcam set up), you can make the visual point that you're hanging up! But that would be jerky.

[$15, Urban Outfitters]

[Via Geek Alerts]

Bench Speakers, Potentially Obnoxious

Shaun Seneviratne — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:06:00 GMT

Want to have your favorite music heard by the masses without carrying a boombox around? Designer Michael Schoner may have created the solution:

This Boombench allows people to connect a phone to the bench via bluetooth and play music. With music such a divisive subject amongst people, riots are sure to ensue. I know I wouldn't be too pleased to walk by that bench and hear Nickelback playing. Either that, or throngs of hipsters will line up to play their favorite jams. Here's a video of the Boombench in action.

boombench from michael schoner on Vimeo.

I think I'd play:

The Jackson 5 - "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town"
Prince - "Partyman"
Superchunk - "Makeout Bench"

If you came across this Boombench, what three songs would you play on it?

[Via kanYe West: Blog and woohome]

Make The iPhone Super Dorky

Alex Zalben — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 13:01:00 GMT

Look at the iPhone: it's pretty cool, right? But what if you want it to look super, super, dorky:

That's a 6x zoom lens that attaches to your iPhone's camera lens, via a fitted plastic case, and then makes you the laughing stock of the world. That second part is included free.

[$18, Think Geek]

This Gadget Gives Me Serious Wood

Alex Zalben — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 13:33:00 GMT

You know I get all hot and bothered for any new thang, but this gadget has me sporting some serious wood:

It's a touch phone! And, it's just a concept, of course. But the idea is to keep the materials cheap, and the cost low.

[Via CameraPhones Plaza]

Are You Buying an iPhone 3G?

Alex Zalben — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 22:00:00 GMT

As we all (probably) know, the new, improved iPhone launches tomorrow, nationwide, at Apple and AT&T Stores at 8am. People over in New Zealand already snagged theres, and the general hands-on feeling about the new iPhone is that it's... Good. Not a godsend (that was iPhone 1.0), but good enough, the improvements are nice, and it gets the job done.

So I'm curious how many of you are going to pick one up, or not, and to find out, I've put together a handy little poll:

The Equation For The Newest Dance Craze

Alex Zalben — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:00:00 GMT

This:

Plus this:

Equals this:

Granted, it's just a concept that Orange will be traying out at the Glastonbury Festival, but I wouldn't mind having a phone charger that runs on dance. Would you?

[Via Shiny Shiny]

Don’t Want An iPhone 2? Got $26,000?

Alex Zalben — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 14:30:00 GMT

There’s still about three hours until the unveiling of the new iPhone 2, so if you need a new phone ASAP, and have $26,000 to burn, you might want to consider this:

The My Dior, made almost entirely of Swarovski crystals and crocodile skin, also comes in a $5000 flavor. Both will be available next month* at Christian Dior locations.

[Via Elite Choice]

*I guess that doesn’t solve your phone problem, huh?

Get Banged By Your Phone

Alex Zalben — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 21:30:00 GMT

Sure, phone sex is one way of getting a good bang out of your phone, but there's an even better way:

This custom telephone works by placing the gun to your head, and pulling the trigger to talk. Yipes.

[Via 7Gadgets]

Love In This Tub

Alex Zalben — Fri, 30 May 2008 19:00:00 GMT

“Hey Mom? It’s me. Yeah, I’m in the tub. In all of my clothes. Hold on, I’m getting a call from the soapdish.”

This is just one of the many scenarios one can imagine with the Fujitsu line of waterproof cell phones, of course. Unfortunately, it’s only available in Japan, so here’s a couple of pics of the F703i and the F706i:

[Via Gizmodo]

Someday My Phone Will Come

Alex Zalben — Wed, 28 May 2008 17:30:00 GMT

Sorry American Girls: this Cinderella themed mobile phone will only be available in Japan when it launches on June 7th.

The cleverly named DM002SH is a Walt Disney/Sharp collabo, and will feature the aforementioned Cinderella theme, as well as Disney Mobility service, whatever that means. The phone will also feature a 2.6” internal display with 400x240 resolution, a teeny external display, 50MB of memory, a 2Mpix camera, Bluetooth, and a Happy Ending.

It will be available in three models, pictured above: clear crystal, brown topaz, and pink diamond. And that’s all the info I have! There’s no pricing available, but I’ll be sure to update you when more info becomes available. In the meantime, check out this rather pointed cartoon from this week's Tom The Dancing Bug:

[Via Akihabara News]

An Open Letter To ESPN, re: Gadgets

Alex Zalben — Thu, 22 May 2008 15:30:00 GMT

Dear ESPN,

I know that you and I don’t have the best relationship. In fact, I never really watch you at all, so I’m probably unqualified to talk about your programming, your branding, or almost anything else about you. However, what I do think I’m qualified to talk about is gadgets… And I’d like to ask you to stop making them.

I understand on a certain level it makes a lot of sense. You’re a sports network with an audience of dudes who like to spend money on stuff, from season tickets, to sportswear, and more. So why not extend your brand, and create products that help feed your fans addiction to sports, as well as your bottom line.

However, I want you to look at the success, or lack thereof, of the ESPN cell phone. Massive launch. Massive advertising campaign. End of the day, nobody wants a phone that only really tells them what’s going on over at ESPN. If you have a user savvy enough to understand how to navigate and use video coded for mobile content, which, at this point, in America, is a precious few people, there’s not much of a chance they’re going to want to limit what they are viewing. Especially since ESPN is available on non-proprietary mobile devices. But then, you know all this, as you scrapped the ESPN Mobile service, right?

So why, then, are you releasing The Ultimate Remote, which is essentially the same device as the ESPN phone, but without the pesky phone features?

Again, I do understand where you’re coming from. It’s a fun idea, and there is a possibility it will catch on. Basically, you’re banking that most sports viewers don’t need sports info on the go, they like it in their primary place of sports info intake: the couch. So you built a remote that has access to ESPN.com for real-time stats and scores; the ability to text message friends, directly from the remote; and even a feature where you can shop, from the remote. Oh, and you’re releasing it right in time for father’s day.

But I think you’re going to run into the same problem you had with the phone… If you have a fan, sitting down to watch a game, they’re either getting updated scores scrolling on the bottom of the TV already, or near a computer, where they can easily check the scores, or, you know, don’t care.

As for the text messaging thing, if I’m already the type of person who texts during a game, I’m not going to spend time transferring my phone contacts over to a remote control, when I can just as easily text from my cell phone.

As for the shopping thing… Really? I’m going to spend time shopping on my television remote? I don’t even think I need to get into this one.

And finally, there’s the price-tag… $300 for a TV remote I’m probably going to loose in the couch anyway?

Now, listen, ESPN. I know this has been a tough letter to read, and an even tougher pill to swallow. If I’m wrong, and this Ultimate Remote takes off, I will eat my words. Or this remote. But until then, stick to what you do best: making funny commercials with athletes.

Sincerely,
Alex Zalben

PS Please send details on how to get a test version of the Ultimate Remote to modernmaterialist@nerve.com, it looks awesome, and I'd love to play with it.

[$300, Amazon]

iPhone Shortage Brilliant Plan To Sell Blackberrys

Alex Zalben — Mon, 12 May 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Okay, gang, I’ve cracked this mystery: Apple is trying to get people to buy Blackberrys, and it’s stunningly obvious.

For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, rumors have been swirling that new iPhones (with 3G, among other fantastical features) will be announced at the World Wide Developers Conference next month. However, as of today, iPhones are unavailable for purchase online at Apple.com, and have basically disappeared from both real-world AT&T and Apple Stores. The supposition was that this was to clear the way for the new iPhones, but if that’s really a month off*, why take them down now?

Why, to clear the way for the new Blackberrys, of course. And, by the way, I assume you don’t spell it blackberries, because that’s the fruit, right? Anyway.

Officially announced today, the new Blackberry is called “Bold,” and features a black and silver, iPhone-esque design. The mobile messaging device (sigh), will include email, phone, IM, Internet, camera, video recording, and much, much more. No price point yet, though rumors set it around $300-$500… In other words, iPhone pricing. I rest my case.

[Blackberry Bold]

*In all seriousness, check back here tomorrow… I would not be at all surprised if the new iPhones are available online at Apple.com starting tomorrow morning; they’re not going to leave the world iPhone-less for weeks.

Platronics Lets You Make the Call

Alex Zalben — Wed, 07 May 2008 19:30:00 GMT

I think the other day I was mentioning that I don’t really know anyone outside of mountain men with a land-line anymore*. But for those of you who do, there’s a really awesome solution available:

The Plantronics Calisto Pro Series DECT 6.0 Cordless Landline VoIP Phone with Bluetooth Headset is a mouthful to say, and even more of a mouthful to… Speak into. I dunknow.

Besides sitting there and looking pretty, this rechargeable headset let’s you have the convenience of a landline, with all of the abilities of a hands-free device. It can answer your home phone, cell phone, and Skype or Yahoo Voice phone. It has a speaker. And, it even downloads your contacts automatically from your Outlook.

So what are you waiting for, oldies? Join us in the future…

[$250, Amazon]

[Via PopGadget]

*Though, seriously, if you do, no problems here. I hope you enjoy living in 1965.

Retro Scandiphone, Now With Modern Guts

Alex Zalben — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:30:00 GMT

I’m a total sucker for olde-timey looking stuff, especially if it has modern innards. I’ll take a coffee machine with a cherry red finish and smooth lines over a stainless steel monster any day.

That being said, this retro phone is a little tough for me, especially as I don’t have a land-line. I got rid of it three years ago, and now exclusively use my cell for calling in and out. Not only does it save money, but it also makes things easier, as I only have one phone number to give out.

That being said, if I did have a land-line, I’d probably pick up this Scandiphone, the upright, Sweidsh phone that was super popular in the 50s and 60s (at least so I hear).

It’s actually kind of refreshing to see a phone who’s buttons only dial numbers. There’s no TV in it, no camera, nothing. It’s just a phone, and it’s happy to be that way.

I’m curious, Materialistas: do you have a land-line? And if so, is this something you’d pick up?

[£40, Firebox]

[Via Coolest Gadgets]

Got The Clams? Get a Camera Watch/Phone

Alex Zalben — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:30:00 GMT

I’m generally suspect of these cheap convergence devices out of China. I realize that countries outside America are far beyond us, at least in terms of mobile phone usage and technology, but you’d think that if cell phone watches were possible, that every nerd and his mother would be grabbing one.

Anyway, it is what it is, the clamshell watch/phone does exist, and you can purchase one for yourself. The little guy comes packed with features, including a touch screen, Bluetooth 2.0, a camera, and vibration when there’s an incoming call.

The phone is a quad band, unlocked GSM, and available in many languages. How’s your iPhone now, huh, suckers?

[$235, Chinagrabber]

[Via Technabob]

Magic: Charge Without Wires

Alex Zalben — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 20:30:00 GMT

I’ve been meaning to post about the WildCharge for a while, and it just keeps being bumped down on my queue… No particular reason, except that it’s very clear made of disturbingly scary magic.

Basically, this is a tablet that you plug into a wall. You then place it on your desk, or other flat surface, place your cell phone on top of it, and the cell phone charges. That’s it. You don’t have to plug in your phone, and the WildCharge is perfectly safe.

So how does it work? Why, magic of course. That’s really the only possible explanation. I certainly can’t place my phone near an outlet, and it suddenly starts charging itself, so why should this be any different? Except it is.

Granted, right now, it’s only available for the Motorola Razr V3, but it can charge five of them at a time. FIVE. You know, for the whole family? Of wizards?

An iPod version should be coming soon, but I wouldn’t buy it, because you’ll be branded as a witch, and burned at the stake.

[$90, WildCharge]

Apple Announces iPhone Car

Alex Zalben — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Tuesdays have traditionally seen Apple Store updatings, and this Tuesday is no different. Usually, there's a bump in MacBook drive size, or a new color of iPod Nano. This Tuesday? It’s a big one… New iPhones, made so you can actually use them in your car.

Yes, let it sink in.

Previously, the handy little gadget was only available for the home, but with the iPhone Car (a temp name), you can now be touch-screening away as you drive! The phone runs off of the car's battery, so there’s no need for recharging. And, it will work wherever AT&T carries a wireless signal.

More details, natch, as I get ‘em. For now, here's the first print ad:

[$899, Apprile.com]

Get a Windshield Mount, and Ditch the Hula Girl

Alex Zalben — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Things I don’t own:

- A Car
- An iPhone

So I may not need Car Windshield Mount for an iPhone. However, some of you may actually own cars and/or iPhones, so you may, in fact, be interested in this. Basically, it's a suction cup and an iPhone mount, which you put on your... You already figured out what it was, right? Cool. In particular, as you can essentially use your iPhone as a GPS unit, you can toss the Garmin, and for 7% of the price, get a plastic thingy. Boo-yah!

[$7, DealExtreme]

Power Monkey Explorer - Not What You Think It Is, Sadly

Alex Zalben — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 20:30:00 GMT

Much to my dismay, the Power Monkey Explorer has absolutely nothing to do with finding a large number of simians in a short period of time. And here I thought I was going to win that scavenger hunt! Oh well.

What it actually does is re-charge your cell phone, using the powerful rays of Earth’s sun! The unit, cutely, looks like a clamshell cell phone. But more importantly, it has enough connectors to work with pretty much any cell phone, gaming device, and music device, you guessed it… Under the sun.

[$120, Earthproducts]

Did You Just Hear The Gumballs Ringing?

Alex Zalben — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 19:30:00 GMT

Hello? Yes? Gumballs? Why they’re right here, let me get them.

The above is a dramatic interpretation of the sort of conversation that might go on when you purchase your new, awkwardly-named Animated Dubble Bubble Gumball Telephone:

Fill it will real gumballs - then when the phone rings, circus music plays, lights flash and a gumball spirals down the chute! Unless you hold the button down, the gumball goes right back up. Also plays music and dispenses a gumball when the demo button is pressed.

As a kid, my favorite thing* was taking apart gumball machines, then putting them back together so I could figure out how they worked. This phone would have probably blown my little mind. Because it would have electrocuted me.

The phone is discontinued, so go and grab it while supplies last.

[$139, Custom Phones]

*My actual favorite thing was reading science textbooks after school, but I’d rather not share that in a public forum**.

**Oh crap.

[Via Shiny Shiny]

Product Porn: Nokia Morph

Alex Zalben — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 16:30:00 GMT

The Nokia Morph is a flexible cell phone concept. It's energy harvesting, self cleaning, and completely rad:

[Via Thoughts From The Sidelines]

This Post is Toast

Alex Zalben — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 20:30:00 GMT

We all love toast, right? It’s the crispy hot bread that keeps on giving, as the saying I just made up goes. We’ve previously documented Tic Tac Toast, and now it’s time for two products that, dare I say it, are the best thing since sliced bread.

I said it. I said it. What?

[$22, Far Fetched Gifts]

If you weren’t sick of me posting about timepieces yesterday, you’ll love a slice of toast clock for your wall. You guys live in diners, right?

This one is just a concept, but what a concept. Here I was, talking into my banana like a chump, when I could have been chatting with my best girlfriends on the toast phone. It’s no hamburger phone, but oh my blog it’s cute.

[$7.50, ShopFasters]

Finally, Toast-It Notes. Words fail me.

[Via Nerd Approved, Serious Eats, Wired]