The Modern Materialist : wine

Happy Hour: Wine Story

Alex Zalben — Thu, 07 May 2009 21:02:00 GMT

With posts like this and this, it seems like we've been having Happy Hour all day. But for today's REAL Happy Hour (i.e., stuff you can actually drink, and not just empty bottles), I ask the following question:

What do Toy Story, Finding Nemo, and Wall-E have to do with Wine?

Answer: John Lasseter, chief creative officer of Pixar, has opened a winery.

Sepcifically, the Lasseter Family Winery in Sonoma, California. The Vineyard offers three wines: Syrah Rose, Rhone Style Red Blend, and St. Emilion Red Blend. Bottles range from $20 to $40, and come with a unique blend of whimsy, wonder, and honest human emotion.

[Lasseter Family Winery]

[Via Slash Film]

Happy Hour: Dan Aykroyd Into All Sorts of Booze

Steph Auteri — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 21:11:00 GMT

When Michael and I first stepped into Gary's Wine Marketplace two Sundays ago, looking for a free tasting and a few new bottles of wine, the first thing we saw was a sign announcing Dan Aykroyd's forthcoming appearance at the shop the next weekend.

Apparently, he was to be signing bottles of his Crystal Head Vodka. This struck me as awesome for two reasons:

Dan Aykroyd is my favorite Ghostbuster.
I had actually blogged about his vodka back in October, and this could make for the perfect followup post.

So on Saturday, April 11, at 9:30 p.m., we joined the long line outside Gary's, me with my hat pulled down tight to protect me from the persistent drizzle, my Flip Mino in hand.

10 a.m.

The line does not begin moving. To pass the time, we befriend the two (extremely excited) ladies behind us, and discuss whether or not Dan's vodka video points to a marked loss in sanity.

10:20 a.m.

The line begins moving. One of our new friends screams.

11 a.m.

We actually enter the store. Our new friend screams yet again. This turns out to be quite the common occurrence. I begin dancing to the Ghostbusters/Blues Brothers music playing overhead. We pass sloooowly among rows upon rows of delicious-looking liqueurs and fine wines. We start to wonder if the store has expanded since we were last there. Farther back in the line, people begin chanting Dan's name.

11:10 a.m.

I discover that there are no more Ghostbusters DVDs for sale in the store. This makes me sad.

11:15 a.m.

I am cheered by the sight — from afar — of Dan Aykrord signing bottles whilst in sunglasses and a dark baseball cap. I can't stop fidgeting.

11:20 a.m.

We are almost there. We start considering all the different things we can ask Dan Aykroyd to sign. "Dan, will you sign my bottle of Jack Daniels?" "Dan, will you sign my Snapple?" "Dan, will you sign my sandwich?" "Dan, will you sign my cleavage?"

11:40 a.m.

We are there. I have Dan sign my $50 bottle of vodka, and a postcard with his photo on it. I plan on asking him some questions...or even just for a photo...but The Man moves me along quickly. In the end, I barely squeak out a "Thank you, Mr. Aykroyd." This is the best I do:

It is over before I know it, and I am left feeling oddly...empty. Still, our new friend manages to harrass him into revealing his favorite Dan Aykroyd movie: Blues Brothers. And, despite getting the bum rush, I find that I still heart Dan Aykroyd.

In the end, we also do a wine tasting because, apparently, Dan Aykroyd also has Dan Aykroyd Wines.

We take home a signed bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon ($19.99), which we will eventually drink. The vodka is placed in a spot of prominence within our china cabinet. It looks cool.

Final note: I still don't know what the vodka tastes like, but I will cherish this bottle forever.

In fact, it doesn't matter what it tastes like, because vodka makes me vomit.

Happy Hour: Bondage in a Bottle

Laureen Mahler — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 21:05:00 GMT

[$36, I Want One of Those]

Is your wine into the rough stuff? Do you indulge in a little self-torture? This Happy Hour gadget was made just for you:

The "Don't Break the Bottle" harness slips easily onto a bottle of wine, then locks down to create a brain-bending puzzle; the only way to open the bottle is to solve the puzzle.

What cracks me up about this product is that it's marketed as both "hilarious hostess gift" and "fun for the whole family." Perhaps if you are hosting a party for non-drinkers, and your children need wine. (Anyone catch the Simpson's reference there? No? Dang.) The up side of this odd contraption? When you work that hard for a glass of wine, even two-buck Chuck will taste good.

[via RiotWine]

Sale Alert! Wine Racks 20% Off at Greener Grass Design

Steph Auteri — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 19:27:00 GMT

[WAS $160, NOW $128, Greener Grass Design]

6 Things You Should Be Saving Your Hard-Earned Money For:

groceries
laundry
Netflix
gas (if you happen to have a car)
those pesky monthly bills
booze, and everything associated with booze

Luckily, these wine racks at Greener Grass Design are now 20% off!

[WAS $160, NOW $128, Greener Grass Design]

[WAS $128, NOW $102.40, Greener Grass Design]

[WAS $40, NOW $32, Greener Grass Design]

Happy Hour: Williams-Sonoma Wine Club

Steph Auteri — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 20:58:00 GMT

When we were in Napa Valley, Michael got drunk and signed up for a wine club he couldn't afford.

I really couldn't blame him. The sauvignon blanc was spectacular.

ANYway. Interested in a wine club you can't afford?

Williams-Sonoma has a wine club for varying levels of wine enthusiasts, from the explorer to the entertainer to the connoisseur ($90-$360).

[Via Outblush]

Happy Hour: Remember Your Favorite Vintage

Steph Auteri — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 20:52:00 GMT

I'm all sorts of old now, so I've been having trouble remembering my favorite wines and, in an attempt to save the labels, the empties have just been piling up on my kitchen counter.

Obviously, I can't allow this to go on indefinitely.

Hence, I'm finding myself in need of my very first wine journal (which makes me feel even older). Help me choose!

[$34.95, kikki.K]

[$45.26, Amazon]

[$10.17, Amazon]

[$19.99, The Connoisseur]

Happy Hour: Everything You Need (To Get Drunk)

Steph Auteri — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 20:49:00 GMT

Well, not exactly everything...

[$26, Sirtified]

They forgot the actual bottle of booze.

The Wine Bottle Accessory Kit includes a combo corkscrew/bottle opener, a drip stop ring, a stopper, a foil cutter, and a combo pourer/stopper.

[Via Product Dose]

Happy Hour: A Wine Tasting That's So Chic

Steph Auteri — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 22:10:00 GMT

I do love me the wine tastings, but I prefer to do them when it's warm enough to linger outside, overlook the vineyard grounds.

To take your tasting indoors (and by "indoors," I mean "never leave your house")...

[$25, So Chic Wines]

order a set of these tasting-sized bottles.

Happy Hour: Penis Wine

Diana Vilibert — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 22:00:00 GMT

Have some wine! Don't mind the DEER PENIS floating around in there. I wish I was kidding.

Read all about it at WeirdMeat.com.

Happy Hour: Want Some Paint with That Wine?

Diana Vilibert — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 22:00:00 GMT

There's not much that says "class" like wine that comes from a box. Other than wine that comes in a paint can, that is:

If the image of toxic chemicals doesn't inspire you to reach for the wine glass, then I don't know what well.

[$40.99, Paradocx]

Related: Happy Hour: Boxed Wines

Happy Hour: Building a Better Corkscrew

Alex Zalben — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 22:00:00 GMT

The problem with corkscrews is that you can open one bottle, and then you have to throw out the corkscrew, right*? So, in the immortal words of Wolverine**, behold the power of three:

I can see one problem right off with this, that no-one can get a cork on a crokscrew that perfectly. But maybe I'm wrong*?

[$38, Unica Home]

[Via BLTD]

*Wrong.

**My friend Chris once had a dream that Wolverine's catch-phrase was, "Behold the power of three!" We thought this was kind of hilarious.

Happy Hour: Hurry Up and Chill

Laureen Mahler — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 22:03:00 GMT

This is a pretty accurate representation of my expression when, after a long day at work, I get home and find that the tasty adult beverage I've been coveting since about 3:45 is utterly unrefrigerated. But behold, the perfect solution for the impatient drinker exists!

[$59.99, Amazon]

Turn that happy hour frown upside down, 'cause this little gadget can chill a glass of wine or a bottle of beer to 43 degrees in about a minute.

Now only one question remains: can it double as a fire extinguisher for my late-night Tahitian Lady?

[via OhGizmo!]

Happy Hour: As If I Need More Wine Glasses...

Steph Auteri — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 22:05:00 GMT

My husband and I went a bit overboard when stocking up on the stemware. First, when we bought our condo, we acquired 16 glasses from Target. Then, when setting up our wedding registry, we registered for thin-stemmed champagne flutes, white wine glasses, and red wine glasses from Macy's (24 in all). Then, on another trip to the department store, I fell in love with another set of glasses, and added a set of 12 to the registry.

Since then, we've been gifted a pair of champagne toasting flutes, and have also saved any glasses we've been allowed to keep at wine tastings.

I swear to god. As much as I love a good wine & cheese party, we have never used all of these glasses.

So I should totally stop drooling over this Sophia stemware. Right? Right???

[$4.95 each, CB2]

Happy Hour: Become the Ultimate Wine Connoisseur

Steph Auteri — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 22:00:00 GMT

I miss a lot about warmer weather: Hula hooping. Evening walks. Rooftop bars. The ability to feel my hands.

I also miss visiting the local vineyards. While we're planning a trip up to the Fingerlakes region in the spring, what the hell am I supposed to do now!?

[$200, Saks Fifth Avenue]

The Wine Enthusiast Wine Tasting & Aroma Kit comes with nine vials of the most common tastes found in wine, nine essence coasters for identifying specific wine tastes, 36 vials of the most common aromas found in wine, 36 aroma cards describing scents and the wines in which they are present, two tasting glasses for sampling wine essences, and a detailed instruction booklet.

[Via Uncrate]

Happy Hour: These Bottle Stoppers Are Rock Solid

Steph Auteri — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 21:54:00 GMT

[$44, lille]

This bottle stopper totally reminds me of the huge hunk of amethyst my dad has at home from back in his rock-collecting days. Not only does it keep your wine fresh, but you can use it as a weapon!

If you prefer crystal...

[$49.50, lille]

...you can have this even more menacing-looking bottle stopper!

Happy Hour: Be Prepared with a Quickie

Steph Auteri — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 21:44:00 GMT

[$3.95, Cerebral Itch]

Ned a quickie hostess gift?

Slap one of Cerebral Itch's wine labels onto that bottle of cheapo wine someone gave you just last week.

After the jump, some additional examples of wine labels for all seasons and celebrations:

[$3.95, Cerebral Itch]

[Via grapeinabottle]

Happy Hour: Show Off Your Wine-Stained Lips

Steph Auteri — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 22:14:00 GMT

I have to admit something to you. As much as I love pinot noir, I'll never drink it in public, preferring a sauvignon blanc or pinot grigio every time. The problem is twofold:

I have a problem with the enamel on my teeth, causing my pearly whites to get more easily stained.
My lips are always so chapped, ensuring that I get purple-mouth-syndrome every time I drink a red.

I can't do anything about my teeth, aside from the work that's already been done on them, but there is something for the lips:

[$5, Burt's Bees]

Not only do Burt's Bees products blow away the competition because of their moisture-rich ingredients, but they make a lip shimmer in the color of Merlot. While the product softens the lips, making the lips less susceptible to staining, it also camouflages them in case there is some color transfer.

Disclosure: I totally used this at a party this past weekend. It worked like a charm.

Happy Hour: Boxed Wines

Shaun Seneviratne — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 21:54:00 GMT

[photo via]

The last time I had this terrible drink was in July at this Chinese restaurant in the Upper West Side called Silk Road Palace. Their schtick: unlimited Franzia with a meal. So, in an effort to get as drunk as possible, I downed 8 glasses. Needless to say I got the dizzies as soon as I got up. About 20 minutes later, this happened:

And then I vom-ed all over my friend's passenger side door. I think this was around 7 pm. . .

Ever since that day, I swore off boxed wine. But about a week ago I went to a co-workers place for Happy Hour and she had a box of wine that wasn't Franzia. I was intrigued. And y'know what, it was good.

Here are some of the GOOD boxes of wine:

Black Box Wines

[$20 - $25, Black Box]

Wine Cube

[$10 - $16, Target]

French Rabbit

The greenest of the boxed wines (a tree is planted for every four boxes sold).

[$10, French Rabbit]

[Via Valet.]

Happy Hour: Corks + Candles = Romance

Alex Zalben — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 22:00:00 GMT

[$12, The Spoon Sisters]

[Via BLTD]

Happy Hour: It's Raining Wine

Steph Auteri — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 22:00:00 GMT

I don't mean to rain on your party, but...

...I think that this wine decanter may be cooler than the one you already have.

The RainMan decanter by Swedish designer Matilda Sundén Ringnér has eight small holes that spread the wine as it pours, sort of like a shower head. You can pick one up here.

Happy Hour: First Class Wine

Alex Zalben — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 22:00:00 GMT

Flying back from London recently, I was offered a glass of wine with my meal, which seemed like the most decadent idea of all time (I live in a cave). But how to bring that experience home? Oh, I know:

Boarding Pass Shiraz is a lively, dense red that comes in a cute packaging. You can find a list of available distributors in your state at this link.

[Via NotCot]

Happy Hour: Put a Cork in It

Wendy Atterberry — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 20:57:00 GMT

Not sure what to do with all your leftover wine corks? Don't just throw them away, do this:

Wine cork board kit comes with everything you need (well, minus the corks — that part's up to you) to make your own awesome board.

[$20, Chef Central]

Happy Hour: Wine Is Good For Your Heart

Steph Auteri — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 21:09:00 GMT

Back in July, I posted about Etienne Meneau's Carafe N°5, wondering how anyone could possibly lift the darn thing and pour. In Meneau's latest design, he seems to take this into account, creating a new carafe that really warms my heart.

Meneau's Little Heart is actually modeled on a (real) heart.

Related: Happy Hour: Pour Me

Happy Hour: Wipe That Embarrassed Look Off Your Face

Steph Auteri — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 21:03:00 GMT

I know...I know...you:

danced on the bar
succumbed to karaoke
spent two hours vomiting into a plastic bag
spilled your drink on someone

...but all is not lost! There is one source of embarrassment you can take care of lickety split:

These wine wipes make sure you mouth remains unstained whilst you sip your pinot noir or cabernet.

[$18, Borracha]

[Via Jezebel]

Related: No More Leaky Wine Buckets

Would You Like Some Sarah Palin With Your Wine?

Alex Zalben — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 16:01:00 GMT

I'm sorry, I think I spelled the word "whine" wrong. However, there actually is one way Sarah Palin is like the drink, wine:

At least, her name is similar to Palin Syrah, a Chilean wine who's sales have plummeted since the Governer from Alaska was named GOP VP pick. At $12 a bottle, it's probably not that great. But hey, it's also cheaper than what you'll have to pay if McCain and Palin get elected.

What? I said it.

[$12, Apellation NY]

[Via FoxNews]

Happy Hour: Amazon Satisfies My Every Need

Steph Auteri — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 21:02:00 GMT

I already buy all my books on Amazon, obvs. And sometimes I use it to purchase music and movies. One of my spice racks came from Amazon as well. So pretty much, Amazon has everything I need.

Or at least it does now:

According to serious eats, Amazon will add wine to the online superstore by the beginning of October.

Related: Expensive Wine, On the Cheap

Happy Hour: Go With the Flow

Steph Auteri — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 20:57:00 GMT

When partying down with others, it's usually best to just let loose and go with the flow. After all, no one likes a drip.

OXO has done it again, this time with a wine stopper/pourer. When the lever is down, the rubber stopper allows for short-term storage. Lift the lever to allow for drip-free pouring.

[$14.99, the Home Marketplace]

[Via Book of Joe]

Happy Hour: Building A Quality Booze Collection

Steph Auteri — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 21:03:00 GMT

My wine preferences aren't sophisticated by any means. After all, the $8 bottle of Yellowtail Cabernet Sauvignon is on my list of favorites.It's nice to have a system, however, by which I can remember that I adore St. Supery's Sauvignon Blanc, the Thirsty Owl's Pinot Noir is exceptionally tasty, and the Americana's Sweet Rosie tastes especially good with fudge.

Ah, yes. A wine rating pad that's as classy as its user.

[$6.99, Perpetual Kid]

Test Drive: Quick-Chilled Wine

Steph Auteri — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 16:36:00 GMT

Back in May, Alex posted about the Ravi Wine Chiller, and I became intrigued. Because I am a little too fond of wine. Because, short of frantically throwing a last-second bottle into the freezer, I could think of no other way of chilling wine spur of the moment. Would the wine chiller actually work, though?

I threw my wine chiller into the freezer a couple months ago, and then promptly forgot about. That's how easy it is to prep. It basically operates in the same way as your common ice pack. When it caught my eye the other night, as I rooted through the freezer for the veal scallopini I had purchased earlier that day, it occurred to me that a test drive was in order. After all, we have a glass of wine with dinner most nights. Why not that night?

And after slaving in the hot kitchen for hours (I'm a slow cooker), it was time for the wine.

We decided to go with a pinot grigio, rather than a red wine, as is featured in all of the Ravi's promotional materials. I know there was some discussion in the last post about the wrongness of chilling red wine. Actually, red wine should be slightly cooler than room temperature and, for this purpose, the chiller has a small air hole you can put your thumb over in order to control how cold your wine gets as it passes through. The longer the hole is covered, the longer the wine sits in the chiller. Cover the hole for a shorter period of time in order to get the correct, only-slightly-cool effect for red wines.

Anyway.

The chiller pops right onto the top of an open wine bottle quite easily, due to a corkscrew-type base. After that, all you have to do is pour at your preferred speed.

After pouring our wine for the second time (we forgot to cover the air hole the first time, and our pinot was distressingly lukewarm), our was was thoroughly, magically chilled, and I got thoroughly soused while watching CSI for hours on end. Nifty!

[$49.95, Wine Enthusiast]

Related: Happy Hour: Ravi Wine Chiller

Happy Hour: Expensive Wine, On The Cheap

Alex Zalben — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Wine is expensive. Unless you're going for good old Boone's Farm, you're going to have to shell out a pretty penny for a bottle of fine vino. But who's willing to drop $40 or $50 on something they've never tasted, and might not like? Enter Wineside:

As you can probably tell, they'll soon be offering test tube sized samples of very, very nice wines. So you can try, before you buy.

[WineSide]

[Via Trendhunter]