Nerve Insider

November 2007 - Posts

• In Other Blogs: The Nerve Video Blog Wears Gold Spandex

  Posted by Sarah

  •  Scanner brings us the bizarre, the beautiful, and the Chuck Norris. Starting with the bizarre, we’ve got the latest in Britney Spears propaganda (she wants you to make her next video!); “The Bizarre, Obscene, and Disturbing Hidden Images in Leonardo da Vinci’s Sacred Art” as well as the incredibly long headlines in Italian newspapers; and the real reason R. Kelly’s publicist quit. No, not because he dates teenage girls. Because he was dating her teenage girl. Onto the beautiful…Funny or Die imagines a world where the Writer’s Strike forces  actual actors to perform scenes from reality TV. See a scene from The Hills, James Franco- and Mila Kunis-style. And somewhere between bizarre and beautiful: Kansas State’s Bill Walker takes a piss in a towel, mid-game. All the world’s his urinal… And the truth about Chuck Norris is revealed. A sample: Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever. But he has done things to cobras and vaginas we mere mortals can only dream about… •  In honor of director Julian Schnabel, who's caused quite a stir in France with his latest, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Screengrab decides to take five…as in, the top five films that deal with the betrayal of the body as a theme. Can the human form become a cage for the soul? You know, just a nice light thought to start out the weekend.  If you can’t handle that, I’m afraid to tell you about the YouTube Fight Club, and that Edward Norton is trying (again) for comedy; he’ll be directing himself, playing twins who get in trouble with “murderous potheads.” Yep, funny! •  And the Nerve Video Blog celebrates the return of Futurama, as well as large lady rappers who like gold spandex jumpers and the DQ. “How We Go Out” is the perfect jam for Friday night pre-parties; I bet even murderous potheads will like it, too. And this is how we go out… — Nicole Ankowski + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 30 2007, 06:00 PM with no comments Filed under: scanner, screengrab, Nicole Ankowski, nerve video blog, in other blogs

• Readers Respond: Checking in with the Feedbackers

  Posted by Sarah

  There have been a lot of comments about James Stegall’s essay “Personal Inventory.” “I never would have thought that I would read a good article about Land's End catalogs. It was like a combination between Updike and Bukowski. Beautifully insightful with subtle dark humor. Nicely done.” --HW Readers are also responding to Lisa Carver’s essay about dating a rich man, “Strange Currencies.” “That was funny and engaging, but most importantly it descirbed my experiences with love in such vivid detail and simplicity that I can't believe no one has said it to me before: all of a sudden it ends and you find yourself neither what you were before or during the relationship. Well put. “ --hlj “I really like how it's not solid--like, there's no definitive moral, yet it just makes you ponder.” --ZZ + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 30 2007, 04:00 PM with no comments Filed under: lisa carver, personal essay, feedback, james stegall

• New on Nerve, 11.30.2007: Photo Galleries by Electrocuted Girl and Federico Erra

  Posted by Sarah

  Today we have galleries for both female and male appreciators. Electrocuted Girl’s “Room With a View” “shows a wildcat of a woman connected at once to both the material world and the backwoods of untamed nature.”  Federico Erra’s “After Sunrise” are self-portraits that allow “viewers the delicious feeling of being accidental onlookers, peering in at a scene that the subject could care less about them seeing.”   + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 30 2007, 02:00 PM with no comments Filed under: photography, photo gallery

• From the Archives: "Sexual Outlet" by Kim Sevcik

  Posted by Sarah

  In “Sexual Outlet,” Kim Sevcik works in Larry Flynt’s Hustler Hollywood sex shop for a day. She discovers that her private kinks aren’t so uncommon, and that parents and porn stores aren’t mutually exclusive. “As the store's toy buyer, Doug is an inveterate sexual trend-spotter. ‘Anal sex is very in,’ he confided to me in an insider tone. ‘Everyone's doing it. You see a woman wheeling three kids around in her grocery cart, and you can bet that later, she's in here buying anal lube.’” + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 30 2007, 01:00 PM with no comments Filed under: archives, Larry Flynt, sex store

• New on Nerve, 11.30.2007: An Essay about filmmaker Pier Paolo Pasolini

  Posted by Sarah

  In this essay Bilge Ebiri writes about Pier Paolo Pasolini, a gay Marxist filmmaker whose work from the 1960s remains controversial and shocking today. “What is perhaps most remarkable about these films is that while Pasolini certainly grew and changed as an artist, his voice and sensibility remained unmistakably consistent: the director who made one of the Vatican's favorite movies was the same one whose final film is still banned in numerous countries.” + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 30 2007, 12:15 PM with no comments Filed under: film lounge, film essay, Bilge Ebiri

• New on Nerve, 11.30.2007: Film Reviews and a Q&A with Tamara Jenkins

  Posted by Sarah

  Today’s film reviews… The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: “Nobody with an ounce of empathy could fail to be moved by the true story of this volume's painstaking creation. Still, it's the real-life story, not the artistry involved in its telling, that does all the heavy lifting here.” The Savages: Tamara Jenkins who directed “the ticklish comedy Slums of Beverly Hills, came out nine long years ago — has finally made another movie. Her touch is equally assured here, in a very different context, and it's no crime (he damned with faint praise) if the result is solid rather than exciting, expertly covering all the expected restrained-indie bases.” Chronicle of an Escape: “The film belongs to that large, undistinguished subset of historical dramas that achieve little more than informing viewers that the events onscreen did in fact take place." Also new in the film lounge, we have an interview with the Tamara Jenkins, director of The Savages. “I definitely wasn't interested in a sentimental portrait or a sanctimonious portrait or a maudlin portrait. It was really important to be blunt and honest about it, but I think inherent in that is this sort of humor that courses through the movie simultaneous with the tragedy.” + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 30 2007, 11:45 AM with 3 comment(s) Filed under: film lounge, film reviews, film interview

• New on Nerve, 11.29.2007: “Erotic Dreams About Film Critics,” fiction by Sarah Hepola

  Posted by Sarah

  Sarah Hepola has a hilarious piece of fiction up today, “Erotic Dreams About Film Critics.” “Tony turns me around, pushes me to the floor. ‘You saw Sweet Home Alabama, and you liked it!’ he barks at me. His cock is hard, and I take it in my mouth, let my tongue roam around the tip. ‘You own Crossroads, that shitty Britney Spears movie, on DVD, don't you?’ he asks.” Nothing more to say, just read it right away. + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 29 2007, 06:45 PM with no comments Filed under: Sarah Hepola, fiction, film critics, dreams

• In Other (Photo) Blogs: Dollface

  Posted by Sarah

  • Siege slips us a quick shot of his wood, but not the type that conjures that image of the bad boy you dated back in college who crotch-flashed you in the Macy’s Suits department. • Autumn introduces us to her travel companion, as they head off into the wild. With company like this who needs civilization? They’re not completely cut off, though. Here, she treats us to a sort-of-behind-the-scenes series of photos starring…the makeup artist. Is today’s sexy makeup artist yesterday’s sexy pool cleaner? • We’ve missed Brandon so much (six empty days makes us antsy; that’s what love is), and now he’s back with a special treat. The image he previously posted for that group show in Paris has finally been rendered 3D! Anyone have a pair of those trippy glasses? • Chase is rocking our world with this picture. He’s described his most recent take on self-exploration…down there…as ”sex education the easy way.” The quasi-creepy retro-doll embellishment in the piece adds an especially intriguing dimension to the photo, as well as to the phrase “inner child.” • Rose + Olive juxtapose their gorgeous prose with this gorgeous photograph that embodies the surrender inherent in desire. And because they’re feeling especially snap-happy today, we get to meet this dangerously beautiful lady, and also Addie, who is all sorts of bright and lovely in that vivid red dress of hers. — Steph Auteri + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 29 2007, 06:30 PM with no comments Filed under: photoblog, photography, Autumn, Siege, Brandon Herman, Rose and Olive, in other blogs, Steph Auteri

• From the Archives: “Third Party,” fiction by Jay McInerney

  Posted by Sarah

  This story is about a guy who’s just broken up with his girlfriend. He goes to Paris to forget about her and to recast himself as the romantic figure he wants to be. He’s someone who takes his identity from the way he imagines other people see him. You never do know what other people think of you, though, and some of the worst misunderstandings come when you try to project one thing but people are perceive something different. “They drank the bottle of champagne and ordered another. Alex was happy for the company. Moreover, he couldn't help liking himself as whoever they imagined him to be. The idea that they had mistaken him for someone else was tremendously liberating.” + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 29 2007, 01:00 PM with no comments Filed under: fiction, archives, Jay McInerney

• New on Nerve, 11.29.2007: Sex Advice From… America’s Most Smartest Model Stars

  Posted by Sarah

  This week’s sex advice comes from contestants on America’s Most Smartest Model. "The guy I'm crushing on prefers the Mandy Lynn type, and I'm a flat-chested brunette. How can I win him over? Put on some lip plumper, put highlights in your hair, get breast implants. That's how I look. Get breast implants? It's not a big deal. Everyone's got their boobs done. I've only had them done once. People act like I'm a plastic-surgery nut, but I'm so not. I can't afford it. I've had my boobs done, my lips injected and that's all. Only once — not like Pam Anderson."     + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 29 2007, 11:30 AM with no comments Filed under: Sex Advice From, plastic surgery, Models, Reality TV

• In Other Blogs: Puppet Sing-Alongs and Christina Aguilera Naked

  Posted by Sarah

  •  Scanner starts our day with a bang by reporting on Norman Mailer’s posthumous victory in the challenge for the Bad Sex in Literature Award. It was this literary luminary who once described the flaccid man-sword (is that any better?) as a “coil of excrement.” The day only got better from there: we learned that cheap garments being provided to our armed forces were suffering from “crotch durability problems,” and that dolphins now come in hot pink. (Think of all the enviro-lover T-shirt possibilities!) Christina Aguilera left us somewhat disturbed by her nude appearance on the cover of Marie Claire, but what disturbed us the most was the possibility that our hair bands may have been made from used condoms. Is it tomorrow yet? •  Screengrab escapes into the sweet safety of the past, fondly reminiscing about the many faces of character actor Wallace Shawn. The Village Voice speculates about I’m Not There’s place in the Bob Dylan revival and Julian Schnabel makes a “comeback.” Also: Puppets have a sing-along. • Finally, the Nerve Video Blog ensures that we’ll all suffer nightmares tonight by bringing us the absurd lunacy of talking yellow telephones delivering empty promises. (Don’t ask me; just check it out.) — Steph Auteri + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 28 2007, 06:30 PM with 2 comment(s) Filed under: scanner, screengrab, nerve video blog, in other blogs, Steph Auteri, Christina Aguilera

• The Nerve Sports Blog

  Posted by Sarah

  The Insider would like to give a special shout-out to the Nerve Video Blog which, for a time, was converted into the Nerve Sports Blog via the Nerve NBA Preview. Oliver Miller wrote a six-part post that you can see here: the Atlantic division, the central division, the southeast division the northwest division, the Pacific Division and the southwest division. Here are some of his predictions: “New Jersey Nets: “New Jersey has Jason Kidd as their point guard, who I dislike because he blows a kiss to his wife every time that he shoots a free-throw. That's creepy. Prediction: 42 wins Indiana Pacers: Naming your team after the slowest car in a car race seems -- symbolically speaking -- like a really stupid idea. ...And in a stunning coincidence, the Indiana Pacers also happen to... suck. Prediction: 32 wins San Antonio Spurs: Did you have some kid in your high school who was super good-looking and on the soccer team and dating a cheerleader and got good grades and never drank and was popular and was even nice to the nerds in the hallways? That's what the Spurs are like. They're better than you, and you can't even hate them for it. Prediction: 62 wins” + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 28 2007, 05:00 PM with 2 comment(s) Filed under: nerve video blog, Oliver Miller, basketball, sports

• Checking in on the Blog-a-log: Fingerless Orgasms

  Posted by Sarah

  The ladies of the Blog-a-log are going strong. Here’s what they’ve been up to... Charlotte_Web is confused. She had a great time with Agent Mojito this weekend but she’s still dating. Men on her radar: Liebendamen, Cuborado, Drummer Boy and Cute Boy. Mainly, though, she’s grading papers, “which makes me want to claw out my own eyes. Grading for me is like reading a scary book ... I alternate between being utterly immersed and needing to run away.” FunkyBrownChick ponders the female orgasm and its prevalence online. “It seemed EVERY blogger was cumming online — except for me. Without a date that particular night, I had to whip out my fucking vibrator just to feel like I was still a bona fide blogger.” CyberVixen is having trouble finding love. “I haven’t had any bad experiences, but just haven’t had that crazy date where the connection is immediate and solid and mind-blowing. I miss that connection. I want to meet a boy that makes me want to call my mom the next day and tell her all about him.” SJ1000 cut off her middle finger. No joke. “The truly tragic thing is that you are my reserve masturbation finger. Much like the United States Army, when my frontline troop (right middle finger) gives out, I call up the reserves. Or, rather, the reserve. Which was you, Left Middle Finger. But you have been hobbled, kind of. “ + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 28 2007, 03:00 PM with no comments Filed under: SJ1000, blog-a-log, Charlotte_Web, Funky Brown Chick, CyberVixen, online dating, female orgasm

• From the Archives: "My Issues With Becoming a Greenberg," a personal essay by Mara Levy

  Posted by Sarah

  You may have noticed that our homepage has some messages about scotch on it. The Insider was thus inspired to search out stories that involve drinking the fabled “brown water,” so dubbed by Mara Levy in her essay, “My Issues Withy Becoming a Greenberg,” in which she discusses marrying a Jew. She’s Jewish, too, so this shouldn’t be a problem, but, as happens with so many problems that shouldn’t matter, it is. “Is the name Greenberg any more Jewish than Levy? The tiny logical part of my brain does, in fact, know the answer to this question: of course not. So why, then, am I so uncomfortable trying on my new last name? Honest answer: I can't shake the feeling that I'm outing myself to myself, even though, as my best friend, Meta, likes to point out, everyone already knows I'm a Jew.” For the curious minds out there, the essay has nothing to do with drinking scotch, except that Mara meets her husband when they both order Dewars (really) at a bar in Tel Aviv.  + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 28 2007, 01:00 PM with no comments Filed under: personal essay, Jews, archives, marriage, religion, weddings

• New on Nerve, 11.28.2007: Sex and Dating Advice from Miss Information

  Posted by Sarah

  It’s Wednesday, which means another dose of Miss Information. Today she serves up some excellent advice for a) a guy who wants to know how to turn down the dreaded good-email bad-picture online dating prospect b) an anal adventurer wondering about the best lube and c) the wife of a foot-fetishist whose husband is taking his longing outside the relationship. Just in case you don’t read the entire column (which you should), here’s one thing you should know: “Nothing wrong with using Crisco. There are quite a few doctors who say it's okay to use in limited amounts, provided you test a small area and watch for your reaction. But I'm not sure you'd want to rub anything called "shortening" on or around an organ that's usually revered for its length.” + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 28 2007, 11:00 AM with 1 comment(s) Filed under: advice, miss information, online dating, foot fetish, anal sex, lube

• The Nerve Date: Skylar, Outtakes

  Posted by Sarah

  Samantha Wolov and Skylar had fun in Skylar’s car on last week’s Nerve date, but, of course, we couldn’t fit all the pictures in the essay. Here are some of the extras. Read More... + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 28 2007, 10:30 AM with no comments Filed under: photography, nerve date, outtakes

• In Other (Photo) Blogs: Naked Models Will Cure What Ails You

  Posted by Sarah

  • Siege has been busy, building a new dreampod (where we’re sure some dreamy photo shoots will take place). Lucky for us, he’s putting his models to work: when they’re not moving heavy furniture, they’re posing pretty. Nice red light district, Siege. • Chase goes retro, and you’ll be glad he did. He spends some time trying to recreate 1983, and “the late 70s porno magazines found in bushes and the woods.” Also, check out the lovely Pony, and the senior portrait she never had. She sure as hell has one now. • Brandon visits the City of Lights, and sets up a 3D photo installation. Once you see the outtakes, you’ll wish you could fly to Paris and see it in 3D, too. • Rose + Olive find that after a hard night of bartending, nothing cures your aches and pains like taking a long, hot shower…especially with a pretty stranger. • Autumn gives us an insider’s look at fashion shoots…see how she risks her ass for fashion, literally. Plus, you’ll want to meet Autumn’s new friend, Patricia: She’s writing a book on Brazilian Hip-Hop. Half of her vocabulary consists of dirty words. She likes to walk around bad neighborhoods and make friends with the drug lords and the heads of the evangelical Hell’s Angels. Regardless of all of that, she dresses like a Madison Avenue Princess. She wears these sort of frilly pastel dresses and kitten heels. Check out the tiger in kitten heels, here. — Nicole Ankowski + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 27 2007, 05:00 PM with no comments Filed under: photoblog, photography, Autumn, Siege, Brandon Herman, Rose and Olive, Nicole Ankowski, in other blogs

• We’re listening to…Celebration

  Posted by Sarah

  Celebration is a three-person band, two guys and a girl, from Baltimore. Modern Tribe is their second full-length, released in October. The trio, including a husband and wife, produces ecstatic, hard-driving noise-chimera; their music could be a soundtrack to a confusing, magical, colorful dream. The female vocalist alternately sings, wails and trills over syncopated rhythms and layers of instruments including guitar, drums and percussion, organ, Wurlitzer and Moog. Watch a video for “Evergreen,” the first song on Modern Tribe, below, and then check out their MySpace where you can listen to eight of the eleven songs on their album. “Heartbreak” is the most accessible, and a good place to start. (Or just start at the beginning, since the new MySpace player no longer stops at the end of a song.) Their official site is here.   + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 27 2007, 03:30 PM with no comments Filed under: we're listening to, music, Celebration

• New on Nerve, 11.27.2007: Q&A with scent expert Rachel Herz

  Posted by Sarah

  Catrinel Bartolomeu interviews Rachel Herz, psychologist, odor-expert and author of The Scent of Desire. Herz confirms that scents are intimately tied to emotions and that judging people on how they smell is not only ok, we’re biologically programmed to do so. “Our body odor is the external manifestation of our immune system. The immune-system match is particularly important for women because they have a huge cost to bear in terms of the time and energy it takes to reproduce.” So the next time you’re looking for an excuse to stop seeing that guy you’ve been dating don't struggle with what to say. Tell him it’s nothing personal, you just don’t like the way he smells. Read the full article here. + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 27 2007, 02:30 PM with no comments Filed under: book interview, smell, scent

• From the Archives: "for my swiffer wetjet," poetry by T. Cole Rachel

  Posted by Sarah

  The swiffer gets sexy. “what is not to love about something with such purpose, slim and hard, the heft of it, the glide of its downy underside” + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 27 2007, 01:00 PM with no comments Filed under: archives, poetry, cleaning

• Personals Picks

  Posted by Sarah

  Today we bring you some Nerve Personals hotties. (To find them login to Nerve Personals, click on ‘search’ and enter their username into the username search.) Lacoffeegirl Lacoffeegirl recently got these rad new glasses, but you’ll have to check out her profile to see what she looks like without them. (Hint: she’s pretty cute.) She’s also got a sense of humor. The celebrity I resemble the most "Depends on what my hairstyle is... Clive Owen?"   Tenseconddelay This twenty-seven-year-old Chicagoan is looking for someone who likes to see live music and travel to far off places, or just to Milwaukee. Just make sure to wear your heels! This hottie is 6’4”. Why you should get to know me: "I work in radio and in the music industry, but neither pays so I do other jobs too. As hectic as everything may be, however, I can still cook you dinner."   Umweird A “tough yet sensitive” New Yorker, Umweird wants someone who is socially aware. She recently read Jane Austen’s entire oeuvre and plays the guitar. Maybe you’ll bump into her at the next political rally… or you could just contact her now.   Five items I can't live without "photos of family, cdplayer/ipod, phone, guitar and wine of course."   + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 27 2007, 12:00 PM with 1 comment(s) Filed under: personals picks, personals

• New on Nerve, 11.26.2007: History of Single Life, by Ken Mondschein

  Posted by Sarah

  Alfred Kinsey is the rock star of sexologists: his Sexual Behavior in the Human Male and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female showed the public that missionary-position baby-making is not the only way to have sex. In this piece Ken Mondschein reports that Kinsey’s own sex life and upbringing influenced his research and, which in turn helped shaped American’s views of sexuality. “Just as Kinsey had once sought wasp specimens in the wilds of North America, he canvassed fraternity houses, addressed community groups, traveled to prisons and, beginning in 1939, infiltrated the secret meeting-places of America's homosexual subculture — all in search of the elusive, statistically pure '100% sample' that would give a perfect cross-section of society.” + DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT Posted Nov 26 2007, 05:30 PM with 1 comment(s) Filed under: Ken Mondschein, History of Single Life, Kinsey, sexology

• In Other Blogs: Good-Bye Scanner Sarah!

  Posted by Sarah

  •  Oh how we’ll miss her: Scanner Sarah says so long, and thanks for all the lube. (She also says “Xanadu.”) The romantic journey continues for others, however, including Heidi Klum, who plays with her boobs, cougars in Kenya, who wanna get laid and the Audrey Underwear company in Taizhong City, Taiwan, which declared November 21 “Camisole Day,” and encouraged all 500 women working in the firm’s headquarters to wear only their undies to work. "We have been waiting for this day all month. Today, we are super high, and don't know where to put our eyes," salesman Cai Mingda told Straits News. As Scanner Bryan says: Thus did "super high" become our new favorite way to say "fully erect." •  Screengrab brings us the morning deal report: Brad Pitt flies outta Edward Norton’s coop; the director of The U.S. vs. John Lennon is working on a new documentary about Michael Hutchence o