As
a lifelong masturbator and mild hypochondriac, I’ve definitely experienced
phases that left me genuinely concerned that my habits might lead to some
permanent damage. That said, I can honestly say that my self-love has ever
necessitated serious medical intervention — unlike Kevin Keck,
Nerve contributor and fellow
masturbator, who chronicled the embarrassing results of his solo routine for
our Shame Issue. A word
from the wise, kiddies: motor oil was designed to lube one thing and one thing
only, and it ain’t your junk.
It was what I always wanted to hear: my penis was a
marvel fit for serious scholarly research. But it was a bittersweet revelation.
My little man would end up in the mason jar reserved for freakish wonders, not
the decanter marked "Huge Discovery." It was more likely to wind up
in the gawkish halls of a Ripley's Believe It or
Not! museum than the Smithsonian.
Read
more here...
— Caitlin MacRae
