Nerve Insider : shopping

Want to Wear Hayden Panettiere's Used Clothes…For a Good Cause?

Nicole Ankowski — Wed, 21 May 2008 19:35:00 GMT

Wanna be a hero…or just get to know one? The Modern Materialist shows you how: check out how you get close, really close, to Heroes’ hottie Hayden Panettiere. Or, you know, wear her used clothes…

Also check out:
The $58,000 Personal Helicopter: wear a helmet!
The incredible, edible, chocolate…anus. No need to wear a helmet.
Deal of the day: Guitar Hero 3 for $60, Rock Band for $100.
Silent Dog Tags: for actual dogs.
Wendy’s guide to Chicago Shopping: plus, an ultra-cute picture of ultra-cute Wendy.
So you already own a $58,000 Personal Helicopter, and the $50,000 turntable, and now you want to build your own under-the-sea community? Steph brings you the perfect accessories.
Or, for the rest of us: ten deals under $10.
Wondering if you’ve got mail? But this and you’ll know, fo’ sho.
Sweet-ass places to park your booty.
Let the sunshine in: add a solar panel to your Prius!
Cheap trick for a cheap Penguin.
Worth the splurge? Pottery Barn’s Daily System.
And Wendy brings you: 80's Things That are Popular Again that I'm Too Old to Pull Off. (We think she can pull of neon.)

The Modern Materialist Helps You Spend Your “Economic Stimulus” Check…

Nicole Ankowski — Wed, 14 May 2008 16:09:00 GMT

Have you gotten your $600 “economic-stimulus” check from the government yet? When you do, the Modern Materialist has over six hundred great ways to spend it… Here’s a round-up of their latest treasures:
The Walk of Shame Kit: where was this when I was in college?! (Also helpful on the morning after: the universal shower diffuser.)
Faux sure: the electronic cigarette.
Pun Tiles: not actually puns, but really, really cool.
Hangover Helper Mints: “eliminates ass mouth.”
Umbrella Stools: As in your can sit on them. Not the other kind…
Twist Naked Sponges: good for the environment, nice way to bring up getting’ nude with your significant other…
The travel bar: with two sexy flasks, it’s also a nice way to bring up getting’ nude with your significant other.
Also environmentally friendly: blue balls.
Do you need a giant guitar?
Screw Target: get your personalized pool-float here.
Webcams: not just for live sex feeds, anymore.
And finally, the Fractal 23 desk. Okay, it’s made to order, and costs $20,000. But if you have 33.33 friends who all really like art desks…well, you’re golden.
And if you spent your entire economic stimulus on fun goodies and can’t afford therapy, get your therapy flashcards on, on the cheap.

All this and more, at the Modern Materialist!

The Modern Materialist Interview: Geoff Haggerty and the Comfy Bed

Nicole Ankowski — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:30:00 GMT

What do you think makes J.Lo go "woooo"?

This week, The Modern Materialist talks to Geoff Haggerty, a writer for the Onion News Network, who, for a very long time, had a teeny tiny bed. And then he went shopping…

MM: So, without necessarily getting too explicit, any interesting stories you can share about the bed?
GH: Oh, you mean besides all the incredible sex I've had in it? Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. That's what it sounds like when I have sex. I'm sort of at a loss interesting story-wise. I will say that for the first month or so after I bought it, it completely felt like any extravagant purchase or gift. You know that feeling of, "I can't wait to play with my new video game or iPod or whatever?" Well I had that feeling, except with a bed. I got all happy and sleepy and tired at the same time and went to bed earlier than at any other time in my life.

Want a bed that makes you go “Wooooo”? Find it right here, on the TMM.

From the Archives: A Sex Show that Feels like a Suburban Mall

Sarah — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 18:00:00 GMT

The holiday shopping season is upon us. Today is ‘Cyber Monday,’ the online equivalent of ‘Black Friday,’ when online shoppers ignore work and spend money online. But! Many of us will still spend hours at the mall this year, searching for the right gift for sisters and nieces and aunts and uncles. With that in mind today’s archive piece is “Shopping and Fucking,” a dispatch from “The Everything To Do With Sex Show,” which took place in Toronto in 2000. Don’t be fooled, though, even if it feels like a mall, a sex show is probably not the place to shop for your family.

“Everything is mall-bright, mall-cheerful, and there is always music in the air. It's terrifically welcoming and utterly neutral all at the same time…The Everything To Do With Sex Show is a tribute to the redemptive power of shopping, and it has made of the Automotive Building a temporary version of the mall, that cathedral of consumption.”

Read the whole piece here.