We hate to say it, but we're not on the side of "The Lifestyle" in the case of The Cherry Pit, the underground Duncanville, TX swingers club which will probably be kicked out Jim Trulock's suburban, split-level home by city authorities.

In response to neighbors’ complaints, the city has outlawed sex clubs in residential areas. Citations have been issued, and search warrants may be next.

“It’s crazy that they want to force their morality down our throats,” said Dawn Burton, 45, a regular guest at the parties. “We’re all frustrated.”

So are those who complain of the noise, traffic and parking problems that occur in their otherwise quiet, upscale neighborhood every Friday and Saturday, when Trulock’s home is transformed into “The Cherry Pit.”

A two-day long swingers party every weekend? In a residential neighborhood? DUDE! Jim, Dawn: this has nothing to do with morality getting forced down anyone's thoats. You guys are just really shitty neighbors. Seriously: you could be throwing a two-day long Tupperware party every weekend and still be, like, what we think of when we think of nightmare neighbors. The threat of accidentally seeing your wangs just makes you that much worse.

Please, everybody at the Cherry Pit: just get a hotel. Seriously. We've been through your neck of the Piney Woods before and know that there are probably half-a-bazillion La Quinta's between you and Dallas. Use 'em! Sure, it won't be free, but look on the bright side: parking's gratis, you won't have to worry about clean up, and everyone gets Moons Over My Hammy's in the morning.

(Thanks, Gwynne!) 

[OXO Cherry Pitter via Sur La Table]