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10 Non Sequiturs to Make You Feel Confused About the Present

Posted by Will Doig

Here's CNN's top three most-read stories today:

1. Dad threw four kids off span

2. Hiker slaying suspect due in court 

3. 'Mean mom' sells son's car

Mom! But somehow, CNN's list of ten reasons to feel good about the future is even more disturbing than the real news. It apparently comes via Oprah.com, which is all the more baffling, because Oprah makes us feel good instantaneously, just the sight of her. But this list is suspect. Reason number one to feel good about the future is "feminism." Fine. But reason number two is Starbucks Frappuccinos, and reason number nine is "the rise of life coaching." Reason number four is the Special Olympics. Reason number five is "situation comedies," which don't exist anymore. Reason number ten is rollerblading. Maybe this list is a secret code for something else entirely.


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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

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