It was a busy week here at Scanner. We got a new URL, we thought a lot about boobs (big ones! Jessica Alba's!), we found some new furniture, and unfortunately, a few people died. Anyway, we're spent. But in case you missed any of it, here's a recap of Scanner's highs and lows for the week of January 14. 

Highs:

Scanner now takes it from the front and back.  

Abortion rates are lower than they've been in 30 years. Good news, even though we don't know why. 

Jessica Alba's new rack. 

We finally found the perfect spot from which to blog. 

And if that doesn't work, this should do just fine. 

We crushed hard on double amputees. 

Lows:

Apple's new MacBook Air didn't measure up. (Scanner Emily likes it a little bigger.)

This should probably be a high, but since it was a low for him, Tom Cruise's C.R.A.Z.Y. Scientologist video. 

We found out the twins-who-married story was probably just a bix hoax to push a conservative agenda.  

And that Britney's breakdown may be a hoax to cover up a military agenda.  

Brad Renfro died at the young age of 25. 

Anna Wintour called Hillary Clinton "mannish." And it made Scanner Emily sad.