Due to the ongoing writers' strike, a writer friend of ours found himself cleaning the offices of desperate movie studio executives. Whilst on the job, he found a list of porn films in development, and passed them on to us*.
Can of the Cave Bears
- Do genre gay films still sell?
- If not, how badly does Daryl Hannah need work?
Some Like it in the Butt
-Are Jacking Lemon or Boning Curtis available?
Titanic Cock: Celine Dione Works Blue
A trilogy for the Chosen People:
-Fiddler in the Rough
-Diddler on the Roof
-Fiddler in the Buff
Snow White Job and the Seven Whores
-Or make it a genre flick and keep the original title
Tales from the Crotch
-Get the crypt-keeper some lube!
While You Were Sleeping (I ____ed you)
-Fill in fetish once we secure talent
Steel Hard-up Magnolias
-A fiesty ensemble of aging southern belles seek to break a dry spell
Cunt for Red October
-A defecting Russian submarine captain finds himself on a aircraft carrier full of female Naval officers menstrating in sync
Mr. Hardballs
-Is there a porn actor with a big enough moustache to play Tom Selleck's lead?
Miss Conjugal Visit
-An FBI field agent gets hers on a prison tour
Big Momma's Twat
-Will Martin Lawrence fuck himself?
Foot Loose Women
-Small western town bans the act of carnal knowledge. A team of large-hoofed women set out to test (and tease) the law
The Domimatrix
-Keanu Reaves-lookalike finds himself in an evil future world-- bound and gagged. Is he the one?
Beverly Hills Cock
-Production bonus: No need to make a new soundtrack
*Lies! Scanner Emily's friend Mike made up this list in a bar Sunday night. Emily tried to help out (Titanic Cock was her only contribution) and learned she has no future in porn. At least not the writing side.
NOTE: We're sure there are lists similar in tone and content but we refused to look for/at them as not to be ripping them off.
