Best of Craigslist reminds us that despite the specific nature of General Dodonna's briefing before the Battle of Yavin, not every Star Wars nerd can successfully bullseye a gal's wamp rat with his snub fighter. (Yikes, that hurt typing. But you know what we mean, right?)
Dear Star Wars ex-boyfriend, my vag is sore
Date: 2008-01-25, 3:56AM EST
Dear Star Wars obsessed ex-boyfriend,
A few things as of late have come to light. The fact that you had an entire room dedicated to Star Wars should have been enough to make any sane girl run in the opposite direction, I somehow found it endearing. The fact that you couldn’t string two thoughts together in order to form a cohesive sentence should have made me giggle in your face, instead I patiently waited as you tried to sound like your IQ was above 87. Your crazy mom that decided to “pop in” and vacuum at one in the morning should have definitely made leave, but I stuck by your side. Your sexual inadequacies should have made me run to seek orgasm from another penis, instead I quietly masturbated in the bathroom after your pathetic attempts at coitus.
Now, lest you be concerned where this is going, rest assured: just like the Star Wars saga, in spite of some dramatic ups and downs, there is a happy ending. Also like the Star Wars saga: it involves a sore vagina, a thick, meaty penis, and a cum-splattered face. Yub nub!
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