Have a steak and blow job today. No, really. We insist.

Posted by Emily Farris

 

Wow, Scanner readers. Earlier we asked if you knew what was celebrated today in addition to Albert Einstein's Birthday and Pi Day, and at least a few of you know what's up. We have to say we're a little shocked and disappointed that only a few people chimed in. We expected more from you, men of Scanner.

Today is Steak and Blow Job Day, celebrated one month after Valentine's Day. Some say it's celebrated on March 20th, but we think they're just greedy. From steakandbjday.com:

You know the drill. Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for a significant other by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Every Valentines day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or girlfriend that you really do care for them more than any other. Now ladies, I'll let you in on a little secret; guys really don't enjoy this that much. Sure seeing that smile on your face when we get it right is priceless, but that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat and consideration. Another secret; guys feel left out. That's right, there's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or too embarrassed to admit it.

Which is why a new holiday has been created.

March 14th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you care for him.

No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. Thats it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th!

A little misogynistic? Maybe. But let it be known that we're hereby declaring April 14 Salad and Cunnilingus Day. Fuck it; we want steak, too. April 14 is Steak and Cunnilingus Day. Now we're even. 

[steakandbjday.com

Image via beefretail.org 


Comments

xmelx said:

Don't forget, April 14th is <a href=http://www.cakeandcunnilingus.com>Cake and Cunnilingus Day</a>.

March 14, 2008 4:42 PM

captainfetus said:

April 14th is already Cake and Cunnilingus Day.  Look it up, I'm dead serious.

March 14, 2008 4:48 PM

cheshirecat said:

<i>Salad and Cunnilingus Day</i>

Would that be a "tossed" salad?

March 14, 2008 11:16 PM

tomnighthawk said:

Happy Holidays!

No one at work believed me when I told them what it was.

March 15, 2008 12:00 AM

James said:

So, just so I'm sure I have this straight:

1) Someone jokingly suggests women do something nice for their men, after they sweat blood trying to make Valentine's Day special for them.

2) You respond by demanding something else to make things "even"- ENTIRELY missing the point of the tons of time, effort, and cash spent on you already.

Can we skip Valentine's Day entirely then? Since hey, most of the time the biggest motivator men have for it is just to not hear about a bad one for the rest of our friggin' lives.

March 15, 2008 6:03 AM

anonymous said:

April 14 is Tax-Giving Eve.

March 15, 2008 9:11 AM

Emily Farris said:

If men would just get it right with the steak and cunnilingus on February 14 we wouldn't have to be worrying about April 14. Most ladies want much less fanfare than you suspect.

March 15, 2008 12:51 PM

James said:

Emily,

Well, that's a fair cop. The problem with that, though, is the "getting it right" part- all too often, you decide what's right after the fact and woe betide the man who doesn't live up to it.

You see, for women, a good Valentine's Day is a God-given right, not something to be appreciated because we're putting forth that effort simply to make you happy. In short, if we don't play the game, we're jerks; if we do, and get it wrong, we're clueless jerks. And if we get it right, well, then we've basically met expectations and that's it. And if you doubt that, well, then the idea of having a day (however idiotic the premise) for the man to be wined-and-dined shouldn't seem so ridiculous. But it does, so there you go.

March 16, 2008 1:02 AM

DM said:

What so special.

Its B&S day every day at my house

No ... you are not invited ;-)

April 10, 2008 11:33 AM

About Emily Farris

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, "Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven" was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

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