Sloppy Seconds: Is Sarah Jessica Parker the Unsexiest Woman In Hollywood?

Posted by Emily Farris

 

Drew Lachey, little brother of Jessica Simpson's ex-husband Nick, did not have an affair with his Dancing With the Stars partner Cheryl Burke. You hear? OK. He just wanted to clear that up. You got it? No affair. None.

We're a little confused by this story, but if it's true, the economy must be in worse shape than we thought. A woman in Arizona apparently arranged a friendly barter with a pal: oral sex for gas. Then something went terribly awry and she stabbed him. With scissors. In the face.

Apparently Hillary Clinton was in The White House while Bill was sticking Cuban cigars in Monica Lewinsky's vajayjay. But to be fair, it's a big, big house. And why are we still talking about this?

If only they had YouTube when we were in high school, we'd be as famous as the kid who edited together safe-for-work scenes from a 1980's porn film for a school project. Of course, we would have had to be that clever in high school. And also been a little better on the A-B roller.

Back in October, Maxim voted "Sex and the City" star Sarah Jessica Parker the unsexiest woman in Hollywood. And now she's speaking out. And she's pissed. And we're confused. There are so many, many, many women who are far less sexy than SJP. Just who did she beat out? C'mon Maxim! We wish we could say we expected better of you. Sigh.

Image via images.askmen.com 


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Posted Mar 19 2008, 05:17 PM
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Comments

Brian Fairbanks said:

Aside from that picture of SJP, I'd have to agree.

It's more from her affiliation with "that" show than anything else.

March 19, 2008 4:56 PM

Marcel said:

Usually I scoff at the trash in Maxim, but this time they're spot on.

March 20, 2008 9:37 AM

Passion said:

What? Those have to be some of the most sexist comments ever. SJP is a very sexy woman and her and her show stood for women's empowerment, and that may be one of the sexiest things ever!

March 20, 2008 12:33 PM

spineofsnake said:

top 5 unsexiest men in hollywood:

1) nick nolte

2) gary busey

3) andy dick

4) william h. macy

5) gary coleman

see how stupid this is?

March 20, 2008 3:33 PM

wundersmack said:

Uh oh.  People say I look like SJP and my husband looks like William H. Macy.  This is either tragic or a match made in unsexy heaven.

March 20, 2008 4:54 PM

fitandfun71 said:

SJP makes me think of Mint Juleps, bluegrass, and the excitement of the Derby.

March 20, 2008 9:46 PM

moutainriverpine said:

Don't confuse sexy with looks SJP. I mean you are still someone I could take home to mom as long as she never witnessed how many men you slept with in the Sex in the City.  I question if you would have the sex appeal to keep me interested, however, but you do seem to have nice feet if that helps.

March 20, 2008 10:53 PM

About Emily Farris

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, "Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven" was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

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