While you were microwaving peeps, or singing "Easter People, Raise Your Voices," or whatever the hell else you did over the weekend, some very important and not so important things happend, like us missing out on the Peeps Diorama Contest. Seriously, how did we not know about this?

Paris Hilton had to celebrate herself for actually coming into contact with poor black kids, so she threw herself a party in Johannesburg.

Grandma Lohan crashed her Nissan in New York. Hopefully she was wearing clean underwear. 

Scientists found a giant starfish in Antarctica.

Jason Rae—husband of British singer Corrine Bailey Rae (the "girl put your records on" girl)—was found dead Saturday, possibly due to a drug overdose.  

Kevin Federline turned 30, apparently in style.  

And we hate including this in the same post as Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline, but it's worth mentioning that the US military death toll in Iraq reached 4,000.