TimeOut's resident dating sexpert Julia Allison was on the magazine's cover recently and we were really tempted to make an anonymous call, complete with heavy breathing, insults, and professions of undying devotion.

PROS:

Julia burst onto the scene after shacking up with future ex-future-Senator Harold Ford, Jr., back when he was just a lowly Democratic Congressman from Tennessee, still black, and not yet a lover of blonds from the Playboy Mansion.

Julia likes nerdy dudes with glasses and big, poofy, dark curly hair. She's also learned that dweebs have the best-laid plans. 

CONS:

The nerdy dude she dated, pictured above, takes shirtless pictures of himself every morning and posts them on his blog. She was actually upset by her breakup with such a man.

She and Jack Longballs-- or whatever his name was (he's dead to us for dissing Julia!)-- had their own couples blog. Yuck. Thankfully, the majority of the content was taken down when Julia finally came to her senses.

Seriously, now... we really like Julia Allison... and not just because she's undeniably gorgeous. We don't mind her writing, minus anything about Lodwick (who is also arguably tolerable when not exposing himself and insulting his then-girlfriend in widely-disseminated webcam videos.) The reason most people despise Julia is because they are jealous.

Jealous of the fact that she is one of the best self-promotion machines in the continental United States. She gets her face in every gossip rag without having to do something inane (usually), which catapults her high above other socialites like Lindsay Lohan and that Dorothy Parker skank. She has a 3/4-page column in Time Out every week, does very little important work as a roving editor at Star, and yet manages to make a very high profile and successful career. Of course, there's also the argument that if she wasn't smokin' hot, we wouldn't be paying her the slightest heed.

Let's call it The Jude Law Syndrome.