John McCain Unaware of the Uses of Condoms

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Q: "So no contraception, no counseling on contraception. Just abstinence. Do you think contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV?"

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) "You’ve stumped me."

Q: "I mean, I think you’d probably agree it probably does help stop it?"

Mr. McCain: (Laughs) “Are we on the Straight Talk express? I’m not informed enough on it. Let me find out. You know, I’m sure I’ve taken a position on it on the past. I have to find out what my position was. Brian, would you find out what my position is on contraception – I’m sure I’m opposed to government spending on it, I’m sure I support the president’s policies on it.” [Actual quotes, according to the New York Times]

Senator, you called for me?

No problem, I'll fill you in. Your talking point is that you are an old, old man, born way before the dawn of time. Condoms weren't even invented yet, and for the last fifty years, were merely fodder for that Monty Python skit about the Catholic Church and not to be taken seriously.

Wait, come again? "What is AIDS, you ask?" Well, A.I.D.S., which stands for American Idol Does Suck, is not very important because rich Republicans can't get it, so what does the party care? (I'm sure we can all imagine the Senator making such a joke about the acronym-- now isn't that scary? To think this guy could be our President, making jokes about Chelsea Clinton and dead homos on live TV?)

Speaking of Chelsea Clinton, Senator, you also never suspected anyone would ask you a serious question that didn't have to do with potholes or executing Hungarian tourists mistaken for bloodthirsty illegal immigrants. Your position is you don't believe in contraception because, repeat after me, you don't know what it is.

That is your official position, Senator, and if you end with that George Bush hee-haw-aw-shucks laugh when you inform the press of your findings, believe it or not, people will actually take you seriously and may even vote for you. Because clearly, if Clinton doesn't get the nomination, this guy is waaay more with it than that Obama kid. Now, go get 'em, Mr. President To Be!

Full transcript here


Comments

Wade Mintz said:

Get real.

You're talking to a candidate for "President of The United States"... Not a sex counselor. I happen to agree which the implication of Senator MCcain that this is not an issue that the Office of the President should be concerned with. I would prefer to keep the Federal Government (and State and Local for that matter) out of my bedroom (motel room, batch house, brothel) as much as possible.

Condoms and "safe sex" are an issue of personal responsibility.

I just don't this is is an issue for the Office he is attempting to be elected to.

My Opinion and your welcome to it...

W

April 2, 2008 11:31 AM

surtsey said:

well put wade!  the president of the united states shouldn't have to be bogged down with minutiae such as AIDS.  Let's see how he bowls...

April 2, 2008 12:10 PM

farknerve said:

Considering sex education in schools is a hot-button issue (and also considering that teen pregnancy rates keep rising and a quarter of teenage girls have STDs), I'd say it's pretty important thing for a presidential candidate to know his position and be able to defend it.

April 2, 2008 2:58 PM

zaharat said:

As someone who works entirely in the field of teen HIV/STD/Pregnancy prevention, battling the Bush administration's policies to fund nothing but abstinence only (and often scientifically inaccurate) curricula, I'd say this is a pretty gigantic issue of importance.  The United States has the highest teen pregnancy rate of any developed nation, and under the president's policies, that rate has actually increased in the past 7 years.  

I always find it laughable when people make blanket judgements on issues about which they clearly have no solid information or experience.  So, in the service of "getting real," perhaps it would be of benefit to the uninformed to actually check out some studies of young people's sexual behavior and the state of sex education in this country.  

April 3, 2008 10:35 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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