Me: “Hi, how are you? How may I help you?”
Lady: “Yes, I’d like return this pregnancy test.”
Me: “Okay, what’s wrong with it?”
Lady: “It came out positive.”
Manager, getting frustrated: “Ma’am! I’m sorry but we
cannot and will not refund you your money just because it came out
positive. Congratulations on your new baby!”
Grumpy Old Man: “There’s too much salt in the shakers.”
G.O.M.: *picks up shaker to demonstrate*
Me: “I’m…sorry?”
G.O.M.: “THERE’S NO SHAKE ROOM!”
Me: “I’ll get right on that."
These and more gems at a sort of Overheard in NY-style blog that collects stories of awful, awful idjits.
If your day has been full of people you have considered beating over the head with laptops, hamburgers, and carburetors, the shitbags featured on Not Always Right will remind you that you're not the only one out there that these people bother.
Customer: “My son is locked out of the house and I need to send him the key!”
Me: “We can overnight the key, and have it to him by 10:30am tomorrow morning. Shall we send the key to the neighbors house?”
Customer: “No, he needs it right now! Why can’t I just fax it?”
Me: “…Ma’am, you can’t fax a key.”
Customer: “Why not? He’s locked out and needs the key!”
Me: “Because a key is a three dimensional object, not a document.”
(Customer stares at me.)
Me: “Ma’am, is your fax machine in your house?”
Customer: “Yes!”
Me: “How will your son get into the house to get the key from the fax machine if he is locked out?”
Customer: “Damn it! You’re right! Well, thanks for your time!”
Me: “I do what I can.”
