Hillary Clinton grew up playing dice games with barons and earls. She knows how to throw straight 7's in the oldest established craps game in New York, where she's lived her whole life. She also apparently played the ancient game of pinochle, before it and the dinosaurs were extinguished by the Mesopotamians.
HFS! One half of the gay black porn star twin burglar brothers escaped from custody by smashing through a police car window with his head. He then threw himself out of the car and landed face first on the pavement. Following this, most people would be a) dead or b) begging to be Tased into unconsciousness. Not this dude.
With his hands still cuffed, he swam across a pond, taunting his pursuers with a classic "You'll never catch me!" ever-fading yell.
In other not-so-recent-news-you-should've-told-us-about: A teacher has been spotted in a YouTube video, much to the delight of her mocking students. Even better: she's in an ad for construction worker porn. Or something.
Last week, we offered to take you through a tour of (Weddings From) Hell. We should have waited a few days to include this one: a pair of newlyweds spent their first night of marriage in a detention center after their California wedding descended into chaos. Christ Almighty, even the groom ended up getting Tased. (Choice line: "The bride was taken into custody on suspicion of public intoxication." Really? A bride drunk at her own wedding? Come on, officer, you don't think that might've been too easy?)
Hey, who does Lindsay Lohan have to flash to get a film deal around here? Attempting to salvage her reputation (too late, it dead), Lohan, who last appeared in nude in New York Magazine only a few months ago, offered to flash her pubes for an indie film she's only getting $75,000 for. The producers vomited up in their mouths a bit and then said, "yeah, let's just stick to your fake boobs, mmm-kay?" She will indeed show her boobs, however, in the lead role of a nympho waitress. (Man, if this doesn't qualify for an automatic Oscar nomination, it's time to hang it up, girl.)
Previously: Identical Twin Gay Porn Stars; We're Done Thinking of Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn Monroe.
