Some readers were bothered by our dig at Absolut Vodka over its pre-20th century mindset. Just a reminder: we're always right.
The Second Amendment Debate, Made Irrelevant: A man has been arrested for standing in the middle of the street and threatening motorists with death by bow and arrow. Cool!
Finally, the truth: Since Thursday's raid on Warren Jeff's polygamist sect in Texas, which housed hundreds of brainwashed females and the brain-damaged males overseeing them, commentators have speculated as to what served as the final piece of evidence that enabled the Feds to move in. At an earlier news conference, the prosecutor in the case testified that investigators had been waiting for someone to come forward.
Well, that someone turned out to be a 16 year old girl, pregnant for the second time in a year, according to CNN. The anonymous tipster, who had contacted Family Services in Texas, was married to a man was more than three times her age, beat her, and had six other wives..
Now, her parents were talking
about sending her younger sister, 15, to the ranch as well.
In her calls, the girl said she had looked for ways to escape. But
she was told that outside the compound's gates lies an evil world in
which she would be forced to cut her hair, wear makeup and have sex
with many men. She thought about faking an illness, but under that plan
she couldn't bring her baby along, the affidavit stated.
She
said her husband would "beat and hurt" her when he got angry, hitting
her in the chest and choking her while other wives held her baby. Once,
he broke her ribs, she said.
Pardon the unfortunate transition, but... speaking of "Desperate Housewives": the show's creator confirms Nicolette Sheridan, the woman also unfortunately known as Michael Bolton's squeeze, is leaving at the end of the season.
Government workers charged millions of dollars for wild orgies (i.e. "fancy dinners"-- but we're not fooled), lingerie, iPods, and internet dating subscriptions (it better have been Nerve!) to company-issued credit cards. So what? They're probably all in the CIA and that stuff is part of the job anyway.
And lastly, the greatest living woman in America is single again. We almost feel bad for celebrating.
Previously: Sloppy Seconds: Father-Daughter Love Child
