Hey dumbass, those rhinoceros horns you stole from the museum so you could grind them up and use them as an aphrodisiac? Yeah, well, they've been soaked in arsenic and DDT so if you could bring them back, that'd be great.

The "priceless" horns were snatched from a display at the historic mammal gallery in Cape Town on Saturday evening, said Jatti Bredekamp, chief executive of Iziko Museums.

"Unknowingly, the thieves have exposed themselves to more than the danger of arrest and prosecution," Bredekamp said in a statement.

"Before the mid-twentieth century, taxidermy mounts were prepared by being soaked in arsenic and preserved from insect infestation through regular applications of DDT, both highly toxic poisons that retain their toxicity over time," he said.

Bredekamp said the horns were deliberately targeted in a carefully planned robbery, and might be destined for Asia, where ground rhino horns are a prized aphrodisiac.

"This could have unforeseen consequences," he said.

Yeah, so like we said, if you could just return them, that'd be great. Maybe we could even give you something in return? Perhaps some discount Cialis?

[Reuters: Stolen rhino horns could be deadly]