Don't you love the sacreligious pic, via PhotoDisc?
Created in 1997, the site covers topics like anal, oral and phone sex;
masturbation and role-playing; fetishes; bonding; and spanking.
No, they're not talking about Nerve, silly. It's actually the website of Pastor Paul Byerly of Salem, OR, entitled TheMarriageBed.com. And it's just the latest sign that Christians are opening up to the idea of exploring sex and enjoying some hot anal action in the name of Lord Jesus...
Among the highlights of this astonishing article from ABC News (all right, we're grossly exaggerating):
- On Pastor Paul and his wife Lori: "The couple talks openly about their inability to enjoy sex because of
Lori's history of sex abuse and his involvement in pornography." Wait-- Pastor Paul was involved in pornos?! Please explain, ABC! (Alas, someone didn't do their follow-ups.)
- These loveable old Christian weirdos even have some wit left in them at their age: "As pastor of the 15,600-member, nondenominational church -- one of the
largest in the nation -- [Reverend Kerry Shook] recently delivered a popular sermon titled 'How to Make Your Marriage Sizzle.'" The witty part? "We were cooking beef burgundy with a reduction sauce." Get it? Sizzle fo' shizzle-- zing!
- Shook: "One of the things we cover in scripture is how to meet each other's needs in bed." Damn! Who knew the Bible was dirtier than the Kama Sutra. (Proabably someone who's actually read it, unlike us.)
-
"Folks who are married and people of faith tend to have more sex, more often than people who are swingers." Sign us up for this crazy Christian nonsense if there is any proof whatsoever it'll work!
- Dallas psychotherapist Melanie "is also critical of Christian attitudes toward premarital sex,
which she argues encourages teens to marry young out of guilt. She also
veers from the standard position on homosexuality." Is she single, perchance?
Okay, enough.
Just read the damn thing-- although we've already spoiled all the best parts.
