Miley Cyrus Will Write a Memoir, We Will Rip Our Eyeballs Out

Posted by Emily Farris

 

We hope to write a memoir someday. You know, when we're old, and we've done stuff, and voted in every election and birthed children who've birthed children, and overcome some great adversity or life-threatening disease. Isn't that what memoirs are supposed to be? So what the fuck does fifteen-year-old Miley Cyrus have to write about in her upcoming memoir? And why is she getting paid seven figures to do it? 


Miley Cyrus, the 15-year-old teen idol better known as "Hannah Montana," plans to write a memoir about her journey to stardom, the Disney Book Group said on Tuesday.

The book, to be published by Disney-Hyperion Books and scheduled to hit bookshelves next spring, will trace her life from her roots in the Southern United States to Hollywood celebrity and will feature photographs from her famous family.


We sure hope one of those seven figures is a decimal and there are two more following it. We're allowed to be a little bitter about this right? Maybe for the sake of woman kind? Or humanity? Or culture? Or literary non-fiction? Or Joan Didion?

[Reuters: Miley Cyrus plans to write memior]


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Posted Apr 23 2008, 09:51 AM
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Comments

grimnir said:

1) be born to a famous dad

2) get hired by the Disney marketing machine

3) write memoir

April 23, 2008 11:01 AM

tartlet said:

She doesn't have to have anything to write about in her memoir.  Regardless of what's in it, there are bazillions of Hannah Montana fans who will pay dearly to read it.  The seven figures is simply a reflection of that.  And Disney knows that if they don't cash in on this sure-thing now and wait a few years for her to have something worthwhile to write about, that bazillion will shrink to a handful.

There's nothing to be bitter about here.  If Disney announced they were paying Miley Cyrus seven figures in royalties for a line of Miley Cyrus dress-up dolls, would that make you bitter?  Stop confusing this "memoir" with a real book, and start thinking of it as just another Disney-branded product, because that's all it is.  

April 23, 2008 12:30 PM

About Emily Farris

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, "Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven" was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

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