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Who Would You Rather: Nancy Grace vs. Rachael Ray?

Posted by Emily Farris

 

We've been making Who Would You Rather? a little too easy on you lately, asking you to choose between two sexy, talented people. But sometimes we like to take it back to the What Would You Rather of our youth (you know, like, go down on your mom or lose a leg?). These two candidates came to mind after a recent argument over who is the most obnoxious female in the history of the world, Nancy Grace or Rachael Ray.

Now remember, someone is holding a gun to your head, so you have to decide to have sex with one (she'll probably talk through the entire act), or die. Except in our game, dying isn't an option. So, who do you have sex with, Nancy Grace or Rachael Ray?

 


Comments

snooks said:

Well, imagining Rachel Ray talking dirty through the back of her nose gives me the heebie-jeebies, but she's got that cute little square body, you could slather her in EVOO, and it would all be over in under 30 minutes.

Nancy Grace, on the other hand, is definitely a top, and I wouldn't be surprised if she had a nasty surprise hidden away in that tailored pantsuit.

Since I'm not into pegging, I'm gonna go with Rachel Ray and a gag.

April 23, 2008 11:35 AM

Brian Fairbanks said:

Nancy Grace is not only a repulsive human being, she's scary-looking.

I would nail Rachel Ray, gun to my head or not. Maybe it's because I don't watch TV and therefore have avoided her all her career, but I would jump her, no problem.

April 23, 2008 12:19 PM

rx2v2x said:

Seriously, this is kind of a no-brainer. Rachael Ray is at least kind of cute, but Nancy Grace would hurt you. And laugh about it.

April 23, 2008 1:22 PM

jaycg said:

I find both of them violently unappealing.  Nancy Grace is unattractive and since my fiance is a self-confessed Food Network addict I find myself wanting to forcefully remove Rachel Ray's head on an almost daily basis.

But...that said...Ray looks slightly more human and, if I were good in the sack, might cook me a nice meal afterwards.  

April 23, 2008 2:50 PM

nederick said:

Nancy Grace is The Most Repellant Person I have ever seen.  I can't fully explain my violent reaction to her because it occurs on a very deep level of my body/psyche.  No matter what prurient interest any of her stupid stories might hold for me, I can't loiter on her channel for even two seconds.  It's like I'll get rabies or have an epileptic fit or something.  That anybody can tolerate her presence at all, for any reason, boggles the mind.  God, I could go on and on.  Stop me.  I hate her.  Make her die.

So, Rachel Ray.

April 23, 2008 6:14 PM

Needs some EVOO said:

I like pegging, so I definitely would rather go with Nancy Grace.

April 23, 2008 8:18 PM

dgilman said:

This only *looks* like a tough one.  Rachael Ray is awfully irritating, and I feel like committing mayhem after two minutes of hearing her stupid lingo and happy-happy-joy-joy attitude.  But Nancy Grace is an evil person, and dedicated to undermining pretty important jurisprudential processes for her own self-aggrandizement.  That's not sexy at all.  Get me some earplugs, and I'm all about Rachael Ray here.

You chickens; for all your talk about being hard on us, you're still throwing softball WWYR at us!  What about something really evil, like Moqtada al-Sadr vs. Hasan Nasrallah?  Bring it.

April 24, 2008 6:55 AM

Maxwell Hammer said:

Rachael is hot. Nancy is a slug.

I'd do Rachael anytime, no gun required.

I'd also do Martha Stewart. Any woman who is good in the kitchen is good in the bedroom, too.

April 24, 2008 10:54 AM

rcrx said:

Seriously? Do you really have to ask? I don't even want to know a person who thinks Nancy Grace is worth spending a second with.

April 24, 2008 2:22 PM

cjb said:

You seen RR's pix in FHM? This is obviously a girl who thinks sex is about having fun. I'm sure I could find a way to stop her mouth.

April 24, 2008 5:50 PM

fremd said:

One caveat here:  RR is going to have some serious dragon breath with all the garlic she cooks with.

April 25, 2008 12:46 AM

Dr. L. said:

I find RR repellant, so I'll go with Nancy.  She's a top?  Even better. Just please don't hurt me.

RR sux!

April 26, 2008 2:13 PM

jerry breitinger said:

I prefer Nancy Grace over Rachael Ray.  Nancy Grace is supposed to be hard. She is a former prosecutor. Rachael Ray is just a stupid cook and I question her cooking ability.  She is also rude to her fans and I don't even know why she has fans.  She talks to her food.  One time she called an apple, Uncle Apple.  What a retard.

April 26, 2008 3:30 PM

mistylanesux said:

Rachael Ray is fabulous!

April 26, 2008 4:50 PM

deathcabforsexy said:

Rachel Ray. no contest.

April 28, 2008 10:26 PM

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About Emily Farris

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one...so far.

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  • about the blogger

    Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

    Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married with roommate and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

    Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

    Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

    Raised on the mean streets of New York City's Upper West Side, Katie Halper is a comic, writer, blogger, satirist and filmmaker. Her writing appears in The Huffington Post, Alternet, and Takepart.com. Katie co-founded Laughing Liberally, is an artistic director of The Tank, and is at work on her second documentary, Another Camp Is Possible.

    Editorial Director, Nerve Media:
    Michael Martin

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