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Was Jesus a Child of Rape?

Posted by Emily Farris

A Dutch filmmaker thinks Jesus was a child of rape, and wants to make a movie about it.


"Basic Instinct" director Paul Verhoeven will publish a revisionist biography of Jesus in September, following more than 20 years of research.

The Dutch filmmaker, who has had a lifelong ambition to make a film about Jesus based on scientific research, claims that Jesus' father was probably a Roman soldier who raped Mary during the Jewish uprising in Galilee. He also claims that Christ was not betrayed by Judas Iscariot.


First of all, we will totally pay $10 to see that movie.  

Second, if it wasn't a soldier who raped Mary, even if the story happened like the Bible says, didn't God sort-of rape Mary in a way? It's not like she exactly consented. "Yes, God, you can totally bust your load in me and then not pay any child support."

Third, new t-shirt idea: "God is a Rapist." No? Too much? You think? Because if you'll buy it we'll go get the silk screening supplies. Right. Now. 

[Reuters: Dutch filmmaker claims Jesus a child of rape


Comments

profrobert said:

I can barely draw a stick figure, but if I could paint, I'd do a Rubensy-style one of the Annunciation as a violent rape.  God, laughing devilishly, would have a giant phallus tearing into a terrified, little, teen-aged Jewish girl, while off to the side, the Archangel Michael would be putting cuckhold's horns on a crying Joseph.

April 24, 2008 10:50 AM

About Emily Farris

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, "Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven" was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

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  • about the blogger

    Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

    Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

    Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

    Send us links! scanner@nerve.com