We hate picking on kids (seriously!), but when a kid comes across as a 35-year-old, is it okay? Because there are so many things wrong with this recent David Letterman on Ali Lohan interview, we don't even know where to begin.

Okay, so David Letterman obviously does not want to be interviewing lil' Lohan. But that's the only thing making us think we didn't just waste five minutes of our lives.
 
For starters, does Ali smoke, or are all the Lohan girls blessed with that raspy voice?

And why is she dressed like a 35-year-old woman? Why does she look like a 35-year-old-woman? Is she a 35-year-old woman? Shouldn't 14-year-olds be wearing inappropriately revealing pastels and glitter?

Or maybe Ali is Lindsay's real mom and Dina is their grandmother and this whole thing is just an elaborate ruse to get the whole family lots of money when they finally reveal the truth to Us Weekly. Until then we'll have to let the family's upcoming reality show "Living Lohan" hold us over.

And what did lil' Lohan have to say about the show?

"We did this show to set the record straight that we're not this crazy family that the tabloids make us out to be."

Wow, we'd feel sorry for her if she was in the least bit charming.