Bikini Jello Wrestling Contest Ends In Violence, Chaos, Stickiness

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

A jello wrestling competition, performed strictly by girls in bikinis, held as part of an end-of-the-term drinking marathon known as Suicide Sunday, descended into chaos and bloody violence after one girl turned into a big-time sore loser...

According to the Daily Mail, a student of Cambridge University in England, lost her shot at 250 pounds in prize money, thanks to spectators who voted her the defeated party in one match. Nadia Witowski subsequently stood up and punched a spectator in the nose, presumably having heard something insulting about herself. She then grabbed a bottle of Lambrini and staggered toward civilization, where two bouncers folded their arms and blocked her path.

Undeterred, Ms Witkowski lashed out again, punching one bouncer and attempting to headbutt the other.

Police were called to the party at Trinity Old Fields, Cambridge, at 1.30pm on Sunday and Ms Witkowski was arrested. She was later cautioned by officers for common assault.

The above-mentioned spectator, who was presumably adorable in her butterfly wings, fled the festivities with a bloody nose.

 The 'Blazers and Bikinis' bash was the 79th Suicide Sunday party organised by the Wyverns - an infamous all-male Magdalene College drinking society.

Is there any doubt going to school in the United Kingdom is way more fun than in the US?

Is that Pete Doherty in the black tie? 

More on this story (and photos) at The Daily Mail.

Previously: Princess Eugenie's Endearing Nude Rampage 


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About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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