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Remember that sex and city episode where Charlotte gets married and Carrie sleeps with the best man? And the sex is like a "jackrabbit" ... yeah that happened to me. And the guy was kinda clingy like the best man in the episode too.

The second time I ever had sex: he wanted to, I didn't, I gave in. This was only a few days before he dumped me. It really hurt, and he wouldn't stop or go slower. I didn't enjoy it at all. I just lay there and took it and tried to stop myself from crying before he was finished.

...Afterwards, he complained that I wasn't experienced enough.

He was a virgin too.

Imagine a small penis. Imagine a small penis that never gets very hard. Imagine that penis screwing and screwing and screwing you for ... hours! With no end in sight!

Now imagine that you make the delicate suggestion after an hour or two that you might need some lube. His reply?

"Girls don't need lube with me!"

This man actually thought he was an amazing lover. I think I had rug burns in my hooha!

*Shudders*

i lost my virginity in a room where six of my friends were asleep.  at my friend's house.  he was in texas, but his parents were upstairs.  army of darkness was on to cover the noise me made on the fold-out couch, and to this day, i can't watch the film without getting creepily turned on.

the thing that made it the worst sex i've ever had is that she never made any noise, and so i didn't either.  i didn't know for three years that it was okay to make noise during sex, and the first time i heard a girl moan it killed it for me because i thought she was faking it, porno style.

You date a married man.  It's very exciting.  He's outgoing, with a fantastic personality.  The suspense builds because you never seem to have time/privacy, so you end up making out in odd places, always almost getting caught, until you both think you're going to explode from the unspent sexual energy. And then, when the time finally comes, it's like he's never had sex before.  He's fumbling, bumbling, shy, and clumsy--the opposite of his out-of-bed personality.  At least it doesn't last long.

I second the small/soft sex... But add that it kept slipping out, because he insisted on "porno-style" where the guy stays well away from your body to see the in/out. That may work with a large/hard porno partner, but he just fell out again and again. And of course without any grinding and with his small/soft situation, the only thing I felt was bored...

After a bland couple minutes of missionary, he finished (in the condom).  Then he jumped out of bed IMMEDIATELY, dashed to the bathroom, and returned with a washcloth for me to "clean up."  How does a man reach the age of forty still thinking that vaginal secretions are dirty?

THE WORST OF THE WORST:

with a man who was frankly obese, with stomach folds. With each thrust, air would sqush out of his rolls in the most awful farting sounds... it was horrifying.

In the back seat of a freeway-speeding BMW with our friends in the front. He thought it would be hot; I was game but a little put off knowing that the guy in the front (his best friend) had a big crush on me. We hit a bump and my guy whacked his noggin on the handle of the vent window and then whined about it long after I'd righted/redressed myself.

She's come about half a dozen times from me going down on her (and, yes, I can tell she wasn't faking because she was a squirter).  We take a break, and I say to her what she'd like to do next.  She says she wants to stop.  Um, what about me?  Intercourse, blowjob, handjob, something?  No, she says, I'm not really interested in getting you off.  OK, I say, whatever my many flaws, I don't force myself on women, but know two things:  One, there are some guys who in this situation would not take No for an answer; two, if a guy did what you were doing, he would become a legendary asshole among the woman's friends.  (It turned out, as she later explained to me by way of apology, that she was still hung up on her abusive ex-boyfriend in Japan, and while her body could get into the moment, her brain couldn't.)

Ugh. There was a guy I used to see every so often when neither of us was in a relationship. Just pretty much a convenient booty call when it had been too long. He'd never been great, but lived nearby and was always up for it.

I called him up a few weeks after a breakup and went over to his place. He didn't warn me that he was completely sloshed. He didn't want to bother with foreplay, just got right down to it. And as I was totally sober, I couldn't get past his nasty beer-breath every time he panted. So I was just bored and regretting leaving my house, hoping I could speed up his climax so I could go home. He was taking FOREVER. So I got on top to make things move more quickly and after just a minute he started SNORING. So I got up and dressed to leave, feeling ridiculous, when he woke up and pulled me back into bed, insisting we finish. UGH

Needless to say, I didn't see him again. I did, however, hear from the girlfriend he hadn't told me he had in a lovely threatening voicemail.