We have to admit, we'd be pretty fucking scared if Hulk Hogan was stalking us, so we feel you Linda. We do. [People]

We don't know what you're doing this weekend, but we're going to the vagina spa. [NYT]

Rachael Ray's people want you to eat lots and lots and lots and lots of hamburgers this weekend. Or else you're fired. [TMZ

Michael Lohan sure does like stage moms. Apparently the mother of his "secret love child" is already shopping around a record deal for the 13-year-old. [dListed] 

How do we get an invitation to Lindsay Lohan's gay wedding? Because why else would she be shopping at Cartier, right? [PopSugar] 

What would happen if a 500-kilometer meteorite hit Earth? For starters, we'd be fucked. [Neatorama]

Mandy Moore is single again. And oh so pretty. [GabbyBabble] 

Thomas Beatie, the "pregnant man," gave birth to a healthy baby girl on Sunday. [ABC]