Who Would You Rather: Founding Fathers Edition

Posted by Emily Farris

 

Before we feel comfortable celebrating the Independence of our great nation with hot dogs, beer and debauchery, we have to settle one very important matter: which Founding Father would you fuck, if you had to fuck one?

Pictured above are James Madison and Thomas Jefferson, but we imagine if given the choice, we'd go for someone a little more schlubby, like Ethan Allen. 



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Posted Jul 03 2008, 03:37 PM
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Comments

godwal said:

We need a portrait of young idealistic Declaration of Independence era Jefferson, not the 30 years later President Jefferson.  Now on to my weekend conquest ... Samuel Adams.

July 3, 2008 4:04 PM

Isis Uptown said:

Franklin was quite the ladies' man, so I guess he did something right.

July 3, 2008 4:26 PM

Daniel J Dwyer said:

Keep in mind, Madison was only 5'4". Not saying that is a bad thing or a good thing, but it warrants consideration.

July 3, 2008 4:50 PM

melissa said:

T.J. all the way!!

July 3, 2008 7:52 PM

Maxwell Hammer said:

You just want free furniture.

July 3, 2008 10:42 PM

profrobert said:

How about a WWYR for Ladies of the Revolution?  Martha Washington, Abigail Adams, Dolley Madison, Betsey Ross and Sally Hemings.

July 4, 2008 1:09 AM

js said:

I would do Jefferson in a heartbeat.  Also?  Thomas Payne.  HOTT.

July 4, 2008 11:57 AM

civiljar said:

Ethan Allen was clearly the most badass of the founding fathers, He took the largest fort on the north American continent, not out of a sense of Patriotism but because of the large stores of rum in the cellars. He wrote the first anti-christian pamphlet in America, His auto-biography is self serving and full of glaring omissions. And damn do we love him for it.

July 5, 2008 10:23 AM

LydiaSarah said:

Thomas Payne is indeed hot, he would be a good choice. Thomas Jefferson was a genius and gave us some good ideas but I just don't know if I could sleep with someone who was so wishy-washy on slavery. (That's just not hot.) I think Benjamin Franklin might be a good choice. Old and out-of-shape by the time of the Revolution, yes, but brilliant, creative, and a great sense of humor. I think he'd be a pretty fun lay and he'd make you laugh too.

July 5, 2008 2:03 PM

About Emily Farris

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, "Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven" was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

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