Scanner Roundtable: Bases

Posted by Emily Farris

 

On the car ride home from the best weekend ever that may or may not have involved us drinking too much whiskey and taking a series of pantsless pictures, we questioned a friend about what exactly happened when two people spent the night in her one-person tent. Of course, the subject of bases came up and there was some serious dissent among the car's five passengers.

As far as we're concerned, it goes like this:

1st Base: Kissing

2nd Base: Heavy Petting, Dry Humping, Hand Jobs, and our favorite term, Fingerbanging

3rd Base: Oral

Home: Intercourse


But apparently, many people believe that anything involving hand-gential contact is third. We've found ourselves Googling this topic on more than one occasion, only to be even more confused (maybe it's changed since the 50's?). We're sure someone out there can clear this up for us, though. 

Related:

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Scanner Highs and Lows: We Got Finger Banged at Summer Camp

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Michael Ian Black Recounts His Own Wet Hot American Summer

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Comments

thea said:

2nd base is touching yer boobs

July 7, 2008 1:15 PM

spinster said:

Agreed.  Second base is touching above the waist, third base is touching below the waist, and third base is all the way, as the kids say.

July 7, 2008 1:43 PM

profrobert said:

Agree with Thea.  Second base is above the waist, below the shoulders.  Third base is any genital contact that is not intercourse.

July 7, 2008 1:43 PM

Elizabeth said:

No, no, no! Oral is a level up from petting but not as high as penis-in-vag.  it has to be third.  and boob touching might as well go to first base, as far as i'm concerned

July 7, 2008 1:46 PM

disunstrung said:

It's difficult for me to say.  I'm a bi female, and since I started my sexual career primarily lesbian, any non-clothed genital contact that results in sustained intimacy (possible orgasm) seems to me a home run.  Hand jobs that are more than just a brush, and all oral.  Even with guys.  Sorry.  

Wait, I hate baseball.  Goaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll!!!!!!!!

July 7, 2008 1:56 PM

cahal_pech said:

I was taught by my first g-friend it was that the bases were the 4 "f"s...

1. French

2. Feel

3. Finger

4. Fuck

July 7, 2008 2:52 PM

anthonycb said:

Where I grew up:

First base was kissing

Second base was contact with breasts

Third base was contact below the waist

Home was sex

July 7, 2008 3:03 PM

Baron Von Monkeychow said:

But what about getting called out at the plate?

July 7, 2008 4:28 PM

bajonista said:

My boyfriend calls making out that can turn into sex "rounding the bases."

I'd agree that 3rd is genital contact that isn't sex and that home is, of course, sex itself.

July 7, 2008 4:47 PM

SkyPork said:

I'm going with the majority here:  

1 - kissing

2 - petting/boobs

3 - genital contact (this includes oral)

4 - intercourse

Weird how there are variations on that ... I wonder if it's a regional thing?

July 7, 2008 6:58 PM

dippy_gumball said:

oral doesn't have a base.  Sorry, Emily.  If you need a base for oral, it's gotta be third.

July 7, 2008 7:51 PM

eurrapanzy said:

middle west checks in - agrees with

1. kissing

2. boobs

3. non-sex sex

4. intercourse

July 7, 2008 8:07 PM

token said:

Okay...back when I was young and dinosaurs roamed the Earth...

First base was deep kissing and over-the-clothes petting.

Second base was under-the-clothes petting and clothed kisses to naughty bits.

Third base was bare skin contact and serious sexual touching short of intercourse [basically mutual masturbation, usually not to orgasm].  Hand jobs where the participants remained clothed were a grey area.

Home plate was any deliberate penetrative sex [oral or vaginal] that resulted in orgasm, esp. for the guy.  [Back when dinosaurs walked the Earth, the female orgasm from anything but serious bedded, probably matrimonial sex was essentially a fantasy].

July 7, 2008 9:07 PM

mike123321 said:

Conversationally, forget about "the bases", and just describe what happened. Or are we still in junior high being adolescents??

July 7, 2008 10:26 PM

christiehoops said:

The bases are definitely the four "F's"

July 7, 2008 11:55 PM

shinynewmachine said:

I had a base system as complicated as the dewey decimal system growing up, but the basics are what most people are saying:

1st is kissing

2nd is above the waist

3rd is below the waist

4th is intercourse.

My friends & I then added sub-bases to each one... I think oral was 3.3, but sadly I have no record of the details. I shoulda written this shit down, but I'm sure if I had, my mother would have found it...

July 8, 2008 1:47 AM

Mandy said:

This might be generational. Since I'm a Gen X'er:

1. Kissing

2. Boobs

3. Genital (non-intercourse)

Homerun: Intercourse.

God knows those Gen Y kids probably put blow jobs at a foul ball.

July 8, 2008 9:54 AM

3degas said:

1st base is meet irl.

2nd base is FaceBook Official.

3rd base is sex including oral and possibly several other people.

4th base is having it posted on the internet for all to see.

Come on, everybody knows this!  Are you guys just pretending?  It's ignorance like this that causes teenage loneliness and ostracism. Fight ignorance today by updating your myspace profile.

July 8, 2008 11:33 AM

saraswank said:

First I need to state for the record that the term "finger banging" makes me wretch.  When I was a wee lass the base system was oddly complicated.

1st base: kissing

2nd base: boob fondling

sloppy 2nd: mouth to boob contact

3rd: manual genital contact

sloppy 3rd: oral

home run: intercourse.

July 8, 2008 7:48 PM

About Emily Farris

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, "Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven" was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

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