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Sloppy Seconds: Elizabeth Hasselbeck Not Sure What A Vibrator Is For

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Holy shit, maybe cheaper is better: PBR is now the #1 (American owned) beer.

Maybe Maxim isn't so evil after all: They named Sarah Jessica Parker their "Unexpected Crush." Which is still kind of an insult, if you think about it. 

Speaking of SJP, the Washingtonienne prostitute/underpaid Congressional staffer is about to have her own HBO "comedy" series, produced by the star of "Sex and the City." Please, enough with these cable hooker shows-- there have got to be some decent ideas out there somewhere.

Cover your ears, Britney Spears has been spotted in the vicinity of a recording studio.

Katherine Heigel isn't leaving Grey's Anatomy after all. Good, because that whole "brain tumor" thing they were going to use to kill off her character is so soap-y, and Grey's isn't a soap opera... is it? 

Google's earnings this quarter were disappointing. Let us be the first to say, this is the beginning of the... naw, their world takeover rolls on, momentarily impeded.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck has never used a vibrator. Either her husband has the world's best dick or this story goes a long way toward explaining why she's such an uptight pain in the ass. 

Do you all Project Runway? We couldn't imagine anything less appealing than a show where whiny fashionistas assemble magically hideous clothing, but apparently this Tim Gunn dude is hilarious


Comments

fitandfun71 said:

Hasselbeck probably thought a vibrator was an electric earwax cleaner.

July 17, 2008 7:59 PM

fitandfun71 said:

So Maxim caves and throws a SJP a bone by naming her "Unexpected Crush" after naming her the "Unsexist Person in the Known Universe" or whatever.  While I may disagree with the Scanner crew every so often, the Scanner crew sticks to its opinions and does not back down!

July 17, 2008 8:29 PM

fitandfun71 said:

If Britney Spears was in the vicinity of a recording studio, I wonder if a Krispy Kreme was nearby...you know a Southern gal has gotta eat.

July 18, 2008 2:55 AM

thinkywritey said:

Tim Gunn is awesome. He's everything I've always wanted in a mentor. Or a (sweet, gay) uncle.

July 18, 2008 9:30 AM

Borstalboy said:

Tim Gunn rocks.  And you don't know what your missing with PROJECT RUNWAY.

July 18, 2008 10:58 AM

Mandy said:

I want to have Tim Gunn's babies. Possibly by force.

July 18, 2008 12:01 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker/The Consumerist. He will be first against the wall, come the revolution.

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  • about the blogger

    Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

    Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

    Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

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