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The Hills Season 4: We Know Someone! And Some Other Stuff, Too

Posted by Verena von Pfetten

 

It's almost that time of year again. When the best worst show on television comes back to entice and entrance us with blank stares, dramatic pauses, and excessive amounts of kohl eyeliner. The good news? This time around, they've brought in some reinforcements in the form of guys other than Brody "Eyelashes" Jenner and Justin "Greasy Hair" Bobby. And guess what: We know one of them! The scoop, the video, and everything you never wanted to know about Season 4 of The Hills, after the jump.

Just about 8 seconds in, you'll see an apparently hunky piece of man-meat saunter on screen and get introduced as Alex. This, our friends, is Alex Smith, former second string Columbia University kicker (this Scanner's alma mater) and even-more-former USC student and/or benchwarmer. The USC thing is important, because as it turns out, it's what Whitney Port and Alex Smith have in common. (Alex: "I went to USC." Whitney: "I went to USC!")

We heard rumors that Alex had managed to parlay his lackluster football career into modelling, or maybe that's just what he told us when we ran into him at the sleazy and sleepy rooftop club B.E.D. (Don't ask why we were there. We'll plead the 5th.) Anyway, and without further ado, here is Alex's debut on TV's most watched show about nothing.

Oh, and there's a lot of fucking. She-Pratt fucks over Lauren, Lauren fucks over Lo, Speidi fucks over Heidi's sister, and Audrina, after being fucked over last season by Lauren, Lo, and Jason Bobby, decides to go on a date with a guy named Colin. Oh yeah, and Whitney probably fucks Alex. It's riveting stuff, people.

UPDATE: For some reason, the video player isn't working for us. So - you'll have to watch the aforementioned (and below) video over at MTV.com. We'll keep working on it.

 

 

Related: The Hills' Disclaimer: This Is Total BS 


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Jul 22 2008, 01:53 PM
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Comments

liskula said:

Wow...my little Alex must have fucked you and never called you again.. You seem very angry and bitter. Can't you just be happy for him? I mean it will not be the highlight of his life, but it's all in good fun. You my friend need to stop hating the players, just hate the game.... and if you can;'t handle it, don't play.

August 8, 2008 5:25 PM

Brian Fairbanks said:

What, because she used the word "lackluster" to describe his football career? Jesus, she just gave the guy the only publicity he's ever had, maybe you're the one who needs to get over it.

August 8, 2008 5:42 PM

liskula said:

Well Brian...I guess you are not familiar with all of the publicity he has in fact been getting since his appearance on the Hills. It's just a shame that some blogger feels the need to try to dis credit him. And try her best to put him down. What did he ever do to her, other than probably invite him out to a party? As for me getting over it....lol....Let's just put it this way, he is my friend and there is nothing to get over. I am happy for him, and proud. As for his football career, I think he chose education over sports. Maybe you should go burn a book or two.

August 9, 2008 9:28 AM

Moe said:

I completely agree with Liskula... this girl needs to stop being such a hater.. if you actually knew Alex , you would never waste your time saying anything bad about him. You're probably the girl who wished she could have a "hunky piece-of-meat" like Alex, but no one would give you the time of day because you're too busy being a sarcastic bitch. If journalism is something you want to pursue in life, then good luck, because you already have people hating on you.

August 9, 2008 7:51 PM

liskula said:

another little tid bit for you Verena...those who can't, critique. I wonder how far you can kick a football? As for Brian, besides Perez Hilton who has ever made any money or had any grand success from being a blogger. I hope you two can parlay your pathetic little gossip filled lives with something of value. It's a real shame that your parents paid for those prep school educations, and all you can do with it is try to put others down. I would be extremely embarrassed if I was your parent. How do they tell their friends about your job? LOL..My son/daughter is a gossip, and a blogger....Be happy for Alex, everyone else is.....

August 11, 2008 12:35 PM

Brian Fairbanks said:

Thanks for making my week-- most unintentionally hilarious comment so far!

August 11, 2008 12:42 PM

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    • about the blogger

    Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

    Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

    Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

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