It's Official: Denny's Designs Food For Drunks, By Drunks

Posted by Ina Maier

 

In what may be the most genius marketing move ever, Denny's has finally gotten wise to the fact that no one really ever eats there sober...

 Denny's has taken their late night menu, given up the pretense of sobreity, and enlisted some emo bands (think: Taking Back Sunday, Plain White T’s, Eagles of Death Metal and The All-American Rejects) to create their ideal drunk food items. 

Some of the creations? Delicious.

Take, for example, Potachos, which are described as being “Freshly fried and seasoned kettle chips topped with crumbled sausage, bacon, bell pepper and onion mix, cheese sauce and shredded Cheddar cheese.” Yum. Our secret drunk food is salt n' vinegar chips, liberally doused with a mixture of Cholula and Tabasco, then delicately covered in a blanket of shredded cheddar. Nuke for 30 seconds, chow down. They took our recipe, added pork (which pretty much improves any recipe) and queso (which also improves any recipe). Oh, and frying. Which everyone knows is America's best food invention.

There are, however, two menu items that we have to give an enormous FAIL to.

First up, The Plain White Tee's plain "vanilla-flavored" milkshake. Seriously? That's the best you come up with? At least add some bacon to that bad boy. (See above re: pork.)

Secondly, Eagles of Death Metal's "Hearts on a Plate" - heart-shaped pancakes covered in strawberry syrup and white chocolate chips.  This may be personal preference, but for drunk food, we're looking salty and greasy, not sweet and sugary.

And in case you're one of those people whose inner emo comes out after their first shot of whiskey, you'll be glad to hear that "restaurants will play alternative rock music from 10 p.m. to 5 a.m."

PS. Feel free to share your favorite drunk food items in the comments. We're always looking for 3AM inspiration.

[via The Modern Age. See also: Denny's All-Nighter]


Comments

afellowgirl said:

Hot dogs!  But that's also my favorite sober food.  

August 6, 2008 3:32 PM

missdoc said:

Avocado, cheese and salsa sandwiches cooked in the "Snackmaster"  - a relatively safe appliance to use when sloshed

August 6, 2008 8:29 PM

dippy_gumball said:

pizza from some greasy NYC joint, where the guys stare at my cleavage as i order.

August 6, 2008 11:24 PM

thinkywritey said:

White Castle. I can't tell you how many times I've momentarily nodded off in the drive-through by my house, waiting in a line of 8 cars at 3 am.

August 7, 2008 10:05 AM

mumbiokundaye said:

Krystals. Southern equivalent of White Castle I believe. They're teeny tiny so you're not David hasselhoff trying to keep the stupid iceberg in the burger!

But I like pancakes when I'm toasted too! with bacon and sausage and fried eggs of course.

August 7, 2008 11:07 AM

Mandy said:

Taco Bell Mexican Pizza. Make that two.

August 7, 2008 1:39 PM

Nattles said:

Falafel.

In-N-Out cheeseburgers when I'm in California.

August 8, 2008 8:31 AM

in