China launched its plan for world domination
on Friday with a swarm of drummers, dancers and flying levitating corporate
logos meant to hypnotize every human on the planet.
Billed “One World, One Dream” by
the time they beat us into submission with their 18000-strong storm
trooper synchronized drumming, the planet was too enraptured to worry
about the Death Star rising from the stadium depths.
Not to be left out, global corporations
will play a major role in the New World Order. Telecom giant AT&T
is limiting communications, Google is censoring the Internet, and Nike
will expand its program to enslave our young people. Nike has
also struck a deal to finally outfit the global population with those
silver jumpsuits we were promised so many decades ago.
Our world leaders were also on hand
to grace China’s takeover. President Bush and others waved
feebly to our nation’s young elites as they marched proudly to their
doom dressed as, well, our nation’s young elites.
To ensure complete submission, event
organizers even enlisted the Voice of God to give His blessing and reassure
the masses of our Dear Leader’s Benevolence. It is hoped that with so much entertainment
the world will not pay too much attention phase II of “One World One
Dream", which began simultaneously with much less
fanfare but just as many fireworks in Georgia.
With this New World Order in
place China is also hoping to expand its prison, science and citizen
disappearance programs, which in the least would give our local Bodies
exhibit a little more variety.
Photo via Dead Spin.
-written by Byron Dafoe, who is filling in for Verena this week
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