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What's It Like Being The Husband Of A Porn Star?

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Who killed JFK? If God created the universe, who created God? Under which NFL stadium is Jimmy Hoffa buried? These and other eternal, forever unanswered questions are easily overshadowed by the most important one of all: what's it like being the glaring dude on the sidelines of your wife's porno movie?

"That's beautiful," says a scruffy-faced director. "Now give me a jawbreaker."

Sky adjusts Deen's penis so that its head causes her left cheek to bubble. "Do you ever do anal?" the director asks her.

This Details article is referring to porn star Ryder Sky, who just celebrated her third wedding anniversary with a man named Bill.

If it weren't for the handblown glass dildo artfully displayed on their coffee table (Sky's name is etched on the bottom), this would be a standard picture of American domesticity.

Occasionally, he can't keep from mulling over the fact that he's home alone while she's getting it on with another man. "Sometimes I think about it when she works late and I'm going to bed," he says. "It's not negative, though. It's more like, eh . . . " He trails off with a what-can-you-do groan. "...I want her to be happy. And it's a turn-on, in a way.

The story goes on to tell of Bill's disappointment with their sex life: porn stars don't have sex just before a shoot and, in nights after work, most are in too much pain to get it on with anyone. More significantly, Ryder has been telling casting agents and fellow actors that she is "in a relationship" instead of wearing her wedding ring and telling everyone the truth. Ryder claims it's not because she wants to cheat:

"I don't want to get typecast as a MILF," she says. [Note that Ryder is 24-years-old. - Ed.]

Later on in the article, the author tells the story of Ryan Murphy, engaged to Kelly Skyline...


"I got a text message from her that said 'I've been ripped,'" he recalls. Skyline had been shooting a scene with Billy Glide, a porn star who's nicknamed the Human Wine Bottle, and his oversize penis tore the inside of her vagina.

Brown knew the drill. "Get that text and you know it's no sex for a few days," he says, rolling his eyes. "I constantly made Epsom-salt baths and forced her to get in. It burns the cut but also helps it to heal faster."

"My feeling was, if she does it, cool," Brown says. [He sees her porn career] as beneficial to their open relationship. He and Skyline recently had a threesome with a boyhood friend of his (he ranks as a hero among his pals), and she occasionally brings home costars. "Girlfriends of mine call and say that they want to come by for a swim," Skyline says. "I say, 'Yeah, it's okay. You can fuck him.'"

Sorry, kids, being married to a porn star is just too awkward for us. Call us old fashioned, but this doesn't sound like a barrel of fun.... What do you think? Would you put up with all this for love? 

Continue reading these sweeping sagas at Details

 

Related:

The Top 5 Hollywood Players Who Did Porn

Those Who Can, Do; Those Who Can't, Teach Porn Techniques...

Buck Angel Too Much Man... Or Is It Too Much Woman... For Porn?

Scanner Highs And Lows: Nudie Shoot City

 


Comments

VivaZoya said:

HELL

to the

NO.

August 14, 2008 7:35 PM

D_bone said:

I'd probably be fine with it. I'm pretty busy and like more open, independent relationships anyway. I'm poly and I don't get particularly jealous. The health concerns and all, though, might be the dealbreaker for me.

August 15, 2008 4:55 AM

token said:

Everybody puts up with a lot of crap in a marriage.  Different crap than this, usually, but relationships take work.  

Being able to fuck other women would make up for a lot...

August 16, 2008 9:18 AM

Baron Von Moneychow said:

Terrible fake tits.

August 20, 2008 11:13 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

in

about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

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