As if we needed more reasons and ways to not be having the sex, How Not to Get Laid is a website disguised as advice, but really just begging us to laugh at (with?) people who totally (and sometimes literally!) crap it up on their way into the sack.

Stories are humiliating and surprisingly believable. Disasters include--

Whacking your husband with a pen knife while attempting a strip tease (yes, confusing and very unlikely, we know).

Losing your wallet thus rendering you incapable of renting a motel room.

And being drunk and bursting into fits of laughter, being drunk and starting an ill-timed water fight, being drunk and crapping on the floor...you get the picture. Though we're quite sure alcohol is the magic ingredient in millions of hook ups, it seems to be responsible for as much failure as success.