While You Were Sleeping: Dancing With The B-Listers

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

John McCain has selected his VP. Based on the fact that Barack Obama went with a safe, male choice, it is expected that McCain will one-up him by selecting a woman or even Senator Joseph Lieberman (I-CT) to further sow disunity among Democrats. The announcement is now scheduled for noon Saturday in Dayton, Ohio, which is a change of venue from somewhere in Michigan, which made that state's former Governor's son, Mitt Romney, more of a VP favorite than he is now. 

A woman successfully sued her boyfriend after discovering peephole videos of her and her daughter bathing.

Everyone's talking about the Faith Evans autobiography/biography of Biggie Smalls... and, in particular, how she caught Lil Kim in bed with her husband...

I got to Big's bedroom door, turned the knob, and went inside. As soon as I saw a small lump next to Big's large frame, I flew into a rage, ran over to the side of the bed, and pulled back the covers. I grabbed some chick out of the bed and started beating her ass. At some point, the chick's wig came off in my hand; it was a short, cropped wig. I stopped throwing punches for a minute to get a good look at the chick I was beating up. It was Lil Kim. She was completely butt-naked, yelling as I pushed her around the room.       

'So you not f***king her, right?' I screamed at Big. 'Yeah, you not messing with her anymore, right?'      

When they heard all the commotion, Cease, D-Roc, and Gutter came running into the room. 'Oh sh**!" they yelled in unison. 'It's Faye! How the hell she get in here?'

Later, Kim allegedly scratched the hell out of Faith's car, but Faith got the last laugh on that one: she and Biggie got it on while Kim got the boot.

In other news:

Two men spent three months crossing the Pacific on a junk raft to raise awareness of... junk in the ocean, of course.

Lance Bass is joining Dancing With The Stars.

Joe Biden is pro-gay rights.

George Clooney and Brad Pitt are damn funny, even when they're not putting cream-filled condoms on each other's doorknobs.

And NYC's HIV rate is almost three times higher than the rest of the country's.

 

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: The Million-Dollar Strip Club Buy

I Hate Myself For Loving You: Blake Lively

While You Were Sleeping: Olympic Mania

While You Were Sleeping: Obama Narrows His Choices

While You Were Sleeping: Better To Be Fat And Fit?


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About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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