Thanks New York Times, for yet another hard-hitting deeply relevant Styles article. We were surprised to learn that straight men owning cats was such a sky-rocketing trend, we were not surprised to learn we could not care less. But, in the interest of ridicule, we give you...

Cat Men: 

John Scalzi, 39, an author in Bradford, Ohio who once demonstrated his love for his cat by taping bacon to it and posting a photo on the Internet, "thinks that dogs are for the weaker of spirit, since the dog is, in effect, 'your wingman.'"

“If you’re feeling insecure about your space in the world, you get a dog because he will always back you up,” he said. “He’s the insecure man’s best friend.”

A man with a cat, on the other hand, “is secure with himself,” he said. “He’s sharing his space with a predator.”

Oh, right! That vibrating ball of hair and attitude in your lap is a predator, we almost forgot. Good to know, we'll avoid coming over in case Fluffy's in a dangerous mood.