Wil Wheaton's Greatest Hits

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Wil Wheaton is in exile. Since going into "exile" on Typepad, he's been blogging his ass off, keeping internet nerds and other trolls relentlessly entertained. God bless him-- he's a charming ol' bastard (yes, child stars do grow up and become "middle aged." Witness the recent, hideous NKOTB reunion tour.) Running through his latest and greatest posts, we've presented a "Wil Wheaton Reader" of sorts:

-"It's funny you should ask," I said. "That's an illusion. You're actually fighting a level 18 Squidzilla." 

 

-From a video he shared on fish deboning: "The wonder boner! My wife would like that."

 

-Regarding his new audiobook: "How long is it?" You say? "That's what she said!" I reply.

 

-Regarding the death of Majel Roddenbery, the wife of the creator of Star Trek: Since we got the news yesterday, a lot of people have asked me if I can tell a story as a way to remember her. I've dug around in the attic of my mind for hours, and the best I can do is: We always had fun when we were working on Next Generation, but when Majel was on the set, it was a party.

 

-On the possible Screen Actors Guild Strike: For the SAG board to even consider voluntarily stopping work when we're falling deeper and deeper into the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression isn't just stupid, it's recklessly irresponsible. SAG needs to face the reality we're stuck with: AFTRA sold us out. AFTRA fucked all actors everywhere by negotiating with the AMPTP on their own and agreeing to shockingly horrible terms. The AFTRA negotiators failed all actors, whether they're currently SAG, currently AFTRA, or are still hoping to join. Those "negotiators" should be ashamed of themselves, and they shouldn't be allowed in the same building as a contract ever again.

 

-Here's another one we agree with wholeheartedly: When I get stuck on anything, I go for a walk. When I get really stuck, I go for a drive, and then take a walk when I get to wherever I end up. I may not come home with lots of ideas, but I always come home with at least one. I also never know when something's going to strike me, which is why I always carry a little notebook and pen in my pocket when I leave the house. [pause] Man, I want to write a Cthulhu story now.

 

-"The thing is, my kids aren't especially interested in a serious Battletech fight ("When do we get to fight each other?" "Just as soon as we finish building our Mechs." "But we've been doing that for an hour!" "I know! We have to make sure they're just right ..."), and my wife glazes over every time I try to explain how awesome Illuminati is. ("AHAHAHAA! The FBI took over the Convenience Stores with help from Congressional Wives and Nuclear Power Companies! Hey, where are you going? Well, if you walk away from the table I'm just going to take your money and put it on my power structure. Why do you have your car keys? Honey? Hello?")"

 

-"You're a clever one, you are." "Not as clever as you think!" The dog said.

 

-"I do this silly thing on Twitter where I make up conversations with iTunes."

 

-And finally, regarding Comicons: "We can invade a hotel for a weekend, pretend it's like the cereal convention in Sandman, and recover enough hit points to survive our real lives until the next one."

 

Ah, real life-- who needs it with these blog posts? By the way, if you like the WWdN: Greatest Hits Collection, you should know that this is only a compendium of the best of December. Check the archives for more goodies...

Via Wil Wheaton's blog.

 

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Comments

G said:

December 23, 2008 6:17 PM

A Lite Farker said:

For fuck sake... Leave the guy alone.

You all seem to base YOUR ASSUMPTIONS about the guy because of a small role he played on a forgettable TV show.

I'm sure Wil is more than Wesley Crusher!

December 23, 2008 6:50 PM

Brian Fairbanks said:

Hey Farker,

What part of "greatest hits," "relentlessly entertained," "charming ol' bastard" (admittedly, this sounds like a putdown, but it's actually my highest compliment), and "God bless him" did you mistake for some sort of dig at him?

As I said, this is only his best stuff just from the first three weeks of the month. In other words, we give him the big thumbs up... what more can we add?

December 23, 2008 7:11 PM

Not Impressed said:

wow, this made FARK? dumbest $H!T i've ever seen.

December 24, 2008 2:06 PM

corbetto the most incredible...o said:

Agree with BF, the rest of you - you know, all twos of yous - are douches and dumbshiats. good day and merry xmas and all dat. hey wil, my guys, keep it up with the words and things.

December 24, 2008 11:33 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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