Since their post does not include a publication date, we cannot say for certain, but we would put at least a few dollars on this Men's Health piece having been greenlit during the slow holiday season.
Yesterday, someone alerted us to their piece entitled "The 30 Hottest Things to Say to a Naked Woman." It might as well have been titled "10 Hot Things To Say To A Woman You've Slept With More Than Once And 20 Things To Earn You 'Weirdo' Status..."
Below, we present the most cringe-inducing entries from their list, by order of discovery. While most won't be red flags or dealbreakers, it's hard to imagine situations where even a few of these would come in handy:
1. "Good morning." [Okay, far from disturbing and practically essential... but #1 Hottest Thing to Say to a Naked Woman?!]
2. "Is it okay with you if I take this slow?"
7. "Do you feel this, too?" ("This" being an incredible emotional euphoria.)
8. "Hungry? Stay right here. I'll go make you a burrito."
17. While looking at moonlight reflecting on the ceiling: "What do you see?"
21. Any use of the word "hot." Especially: "You're so hot." [How creative!]
23. Words that end in "uck." Yes, even "duck," when appropriate.
24. "There's nothing else I'd rather be doing right now." [Lame!]
26. "Damn, I've missed you."
28. Playful laughter.
29. "Don't ever leave me."
No word on whether 29 is supposed to be said with a whimpering desperation in your voice... or while holding an ax.
Via Men's Health.
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