While You Were Sleeping: Woody And the Scarlett-Penelope Makeout Scene

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

How does a man "accidentally" castrate himself and flush his own penis down the toilet?

Robin Quivers has some diet tips for you that sound similar to everything else you've heard, except they worked for her.

It's nice to see that Etta James is as crazy as we remember her from a 2008 concert.

Are you an ex-masturbator? We are-- although only from this moment until the moment after this post is complete.

Don't miss John Cleese on Jimmy Kimmel.

Barry Bonds plead not guilty to charges of perjury. Does this guy ever stop lying?

Joe Satriani won't have his goons stalk Coldplay at the Grammy's.

Michael Phelps has been suspended from swimming and lost his Corn Flakes deal. So what?

And Woody Allen wasn't even there to witness Scarlett and Penelope make out. Huh? What kind of director misses that scene?

Why You Should Never Deny a Kansas City Man His Ice Cream (Hint: You Will End Up Dead)

While You Were Sleeping: Another American Cheater Unveiled

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Posted Feb 06 2009, 09:08 AM

Filed under: lesbian, masturbation, penis, making out, concerts, Penelope Cruz, scarlett johansson, woody allen, grammys, diets, penises, masturbating, crazy people, etta james, trials, michael phelps, coldplay, castration, breakfast, perjury, dieting, barry bonds

Comments

Isaac said:

The Ex-Masturbator site has other Ex- content too. I love their ex-Atheist videos. Because the circumstances of the Big Bang were so magical and nobody actually saw it, the rational decision is obviously to believe that god did it.

February 6, 2009 9:44 AM

Luke said:

Ex-masturbator? I would never masturbate my ex!

February 6, 2009 10:34 AM

profrobert said:

Although Bonds is a massive liar, pleading "not guilty" is not a lie because, as a legal matter, it's not an assertion of "I didn't do it," but rather, "You can't prove I did it beyond a reasonable doubt." Every criminal defendant has a constitutional right to put the government to its proof, and there's nothing wrong with that.

February 6, 2009 11:00 AM

WeirdCorp said:

I'm torn. One the one hand, the ex-masturbator "movement" is patently stupid and credibility-destroying. The fellow behind the Web site, Bobby Herring, was profiled by Christian Youth Web here: www.christianyouthweb.com/m.htm

I respect attempts for rap artists to broaden the scope of ideas presented by hip-hop music, but I'm not a fan. Masturbation is healthy, harmless and ... well, fun.

That said, on the other hand, this has all the makings of an Onion-style, Adbusters-esque, full-on-Borat culture jam. It's almost as brilliant as the PETA ad they didn't show during the Superbowl -- where they get all the publicity at almost none of the cost. They'll be over 10,000 hits today.

February 6, 2009 11:34 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.