If you've just been paroled after a somewhat lengthy prison stay, one that featured no conjugal visits and no reported sex with any female administrative assistants, you're probably about forty times hornier than the average male, who is, on average, forty times hornier than Jacques Casanova after three hits of ecstasy.
So, it's almost-- almost, we emphasize-- understandable that Jason Leroy Savage did something unspeakable with an inanimate object after his release...
It was October 16, 2008, in Thomas Township, Michigan, and the Fill-N-Wash Car Wash (no pun intended, of course) was open for business. According to reports, a police officer responded to a call about "suspicious activity" at the business at about 6:45am. Upon arrival, he immediately noticed Savage standing in an "awkward" position near a coin-operated car vacuum machine. As he approached, he noticed Savage's pants were at his ankles and that he was receiving a literal "blow job" from the vacuum cleaner. Savage shrieked, "Oh shit!" and tried to explain... although he mainly ended up just apologizing for his embarrassment at having been caught having sex with a machine.
Savage was apparently on parole for a drug charge, among other minor crimes. He pleaded no contest yesterday and will face sentencing in March.
Original reports are here and the followup is here.
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