I've
been pretty much living in Planes, Trains and Automobiles for the past
36 or so hours. After waiting eleven hours in an airport yesterday, I
rode a Greyhound for four hours to quite possibly also spend today in
another airport. Anyway, one great thing about a bus ride? Truck stops! I
love shopping at truck stops. And yesterday, while squatting over a
disgusting toilet, I looked up to find the condom machine. Four flavored
condoms for 75-cents? What a deal! I knew it was finally time to pop my
condom-machine cherry. Unfortunately, it turns out it wasn't such a
good deal after all.

Either
it is one four-flavored condom (WTF?) or, more likely, it is one of four
flavors. Will it be banana? Chocolate? Strawberry? Or mint
(marijuana??)?
Only you can tell. FInish this sentence:
If I had a ____-flavored condom I'd ______________________ Fox News.
and send it to scanner@nerve.com. The best answer will be posted here and the winner will receive this
mystery condom via the USPS. The Springfield, MO airport may not have
fresh coffee or hot food but it has to have a post office. Right?
More goodies from my travels coming next week.
(For the very interested among you, I'm Tiwttering my misadventures. The less sleep I get—I'm working on four hours in three days—the better my Twats, it seems.)
Related: