Friday night we broke free from the confines of our ginormous Midwestern apartment, took the first shower we'd had in days and ventured out to a place we were certain would be stocked with hairy men: a mustache contest hosted by the Ozanam Guild. We were really excited when we got asked to judge, but our excitement quickly faded when we realized we were wrong about the whole plethora of hairy men thing. However, we made a very important discovery: women in mustaches are sort-of hot.
Perhaps there is something in the Kansas City water that prevents men from growing facial hair:
This is the best the men of Kansas City could do. Four men competed in the "real" 'stache contest. The guy on the left won and the guy in the Adidas t-shirt got second place because this was his first 'stache and he was super excited about it. See that guy in the sweater? His facial hair may have been better than T-shirt Guy's but he said he was going to shave it as soon as he got home. Mustache FAIL:
While the mustachioed men had a weak showing, the women of Kansas City let all their hair hang out:
And the women who won rocked these sweet flavor savers:
And of course, we had to rock our own Scanner 'Stache:
Naturally, we suggested the Ozanam Guild have a beard competition next time.
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