Who Is Vanity Fair's Most Beautiful Woman in the World?

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

People Magazine has The Sexiest Man Alive. Maxim has its Sexiest Woman of the Year. Vanity Fair, desperate to singlehandedly save Conde Nast, has just announced the winner of its Most Beautiful Woman in the World poll. Of course, the press release makes no mention of a followup contest involving men, since that wouldn't sell at the newsstand.

First of all, is their #1 choice the right one or was Kate Beckinsale  Kate Winslet Scanners Emily/Colleen unfairly snubbed?

7. Queen Rania of Jordan. Are we crazy or is the only media outlet in the world that even mentions her starts with a "V" and ends with an "anity Fair?" They must be bestfriendsforver with the Queen, because Graydon Carter's staff mentions her every chance they get.

6. Bar Rafaeli. This girl's agent is seriously working overtime-- he got her a date and (probably) a fake relationship with Leonardo DiCaprio, the cover of Sports Illustrated, and onto this list without anyone even knowing who she is. That's not to say we dislike her-- seriously, we're impressed with her sudden success.

5. Jennifer Connelly. Jennifer Connelly is too skinny to be as beautiful as she was even five years ago. End of story.

4. Penelope Cruz. While our comments above could hold weight here, we decided not to diss Penelope after all. She is thin, yes, but she's not hideous for it-- and she couldn't be more beautiful the way she is now.
 
3. Scarlett Johansson. Arguably the most desirable woman in the world, Scarlett Johansson has seemed a bit less appealing lately. That has nothing to do with our getting used to her beauty and everything to do with her vicinity to Ryan Reynolds

2. Giselle Bundchen. She was our pick for #1, if only because she's on the cover of Vanity Fair this month. Apparently, that wasn't enough to put her over the top... meaning there's a surprise winner...

 

 
1. Angelina Jolie. Agree or disagree?
 
 
 
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Posted Apr 15 2009, 09:54 AM
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Comments

r said:

ew!

April 15, 2009 11:05 AM

Twolane said:

Angelina Jolie? Really? WTF is with that? That girl needs more than a few good meals, not to mention a lip transplant. She's starting to look way too much like that octo-mom thing with all the babies who lives in her parents' basement. Oh, wait. Maybe it's the octo-mom who looks too much like Angie.

Whatev.

April 15, 2009 11:11 AM

Nan said:

what a joke - It was probably voted on in the Vanity Fair issue with Angelina on the cover so all the Brangeloonies bought them up and voted.  In MEN'S magazines, Angie came in 87th in one and didn't even break the top 100 in another.  Could be because of her huge uneven horse teeth, her gigantic forehead, and all those wrinkles.

Vanity Fair is a joke

April 15, 2009 1:10 PM

blue_eyed_man said:

Did they see the Carl's Jr. commercial with Padma?

April 15, 2009 3:37 PM

totalblamblam said:

Jennifer Connelly and Angelina Jolie are the same person to me, basically. They both have hair that is much too dark for their complexions, bodies that used to be gorgeous that are now emaciated beyond recognition and husbands that are more effeminate than they are.

April 15, 2009 6:59 PM

thinkywritey said:

Goddamn, you people are harsh.

April 16, 2009 11:14 AM

afellowgirl said:

Too bad they couldn't have a cover story about the AWESOMEST woman alive.  I have no idea who it would be, but it would make for more worthwhile reading.

April 16, 2009 5:39 PM

Geebee said:

Where the hell is Monica Bellucci on their list?

April 16, 2009 8:24 PM

angrypost said:

Angelina Jolie is not attractive. She's not. She's odd looking. Like a freakish alien sex dolls. The parts are there but they are not human.

April 22, 2009 11:30 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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