We're back in New York this week doing erotic readings, teaching cooking classes and bothering the staff at Nerve HQ. Not much has changed in the Big Apple since we left in late December, but imagine our surprise when we walked into the office Tuesday morning to find that Nerve has finally started hiring the good variety of interns: the bearded kind. So we did what any good beard-obsessed blogger would do and locked one in the bathroom and made him answer a few questions for us. His answers, and his hairy, hairy mug after the jump.
Joe Bernardi, Nerve Intern
How old are you?
I'm 23.
Where do you go to school?
I graduated from Emerson College in Boston, bummed around for a bit, and moved to New York this past January.
How long have you had that snazzy beard?
Two years, give or take.
What made you decide to grow it?
Collegiate laziness, mostly. The beard was originally accompanied by long hair, but no matter how hard you're gunning for George Harrison comparisons you're always just going to get Jesus. No matter what.
Do you ever think about shaving it?
All the time. I thought about shaving it last weekend, actually, but didn't. It's probably that same laziness.
Have you ever shaved it? And if so, how did people react?
I haven't been cleanshaven since I first grew the beard, but at this point curiosity about peoples' reactions is a primary motivator for shaving.
What do the women (or men) you have dated think about it?
They're generally for it. Girls have talked me down from shaving once or twice, but it usually doesn't take much effort.
Under what circumstances might you shave it? (Not that I recommend doing it).
The first two situations that come to mind are a moustache competition and a Halloween costume. For the past few years my beard has forced me to resort to weird, abstract Halloween costumes (Sexy Constitution of the United States), and it would be nice to relax and just dress up as Mario or something.
Do you ever sit in front of the mirror and stroke it—your beard, that is?
Sure. It's one of the best parts of having a beard.
Do you find that certain clothes or accessories look better on your now that you have a beard?
A good beard will pull pretty much any wintertime look together. During the winter months you have to work around it a little bit more, but the challenge is not without its charms.
If your beard had a theme song, what would it be?
This is absolutely the most difficult question. I'm going to say "Louie Louie."
What advice would you give to men considering growing a beard of their own?
Know your limits. A patchy, depressing beard is far worse than no beard at all. Also: unless you are Maynard G. Krebs, you should not, under any circumstances, grow a goatee.
What does a Nerve intern do, anyway? And how do I get one?
Nerve hired me via Craigslist, but these days you could probably just walk the couple of blocks up to NYU and wander around with a ten-dollar bill tied to some fishing line. Today I'm pulling videos for an upcoming list we're putting together. I do a lot of research and horoscope writing.
Wait—interns write the horoscopes? What's mine?
I don't know your sign or birthday, but from here it seems safe to say that you'll be the first writer in space by the end of the summer. The rest is for the full-time soothsayers to sort out.
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